Laura and Justina Make Power Rankings

Following in Luke's footsteps, Laura and I came up with an incredibly complicated algorithm to power rank our teams. I call it "Here is where we tell you how hot we think your players are." That's right, we ranked each and every player on your team (except defenses, except in one case, on which I'll elaborate later) based on pure, raw looks. And some of your players looks is raw.

Please take a moment to suspend all judgment on our superficiality: believe us, there were moments where we questioned our own moral fiber, and as for my sanity - I question that every day.

We gave each player a score from 1-10 based on their Yahoo! player profile picture, but normalized to football standards. Let's face it, if we judged everyone on a scale of 10 = George Clooney, we'd be dealing with fractions. Neither of us gave anyone a perfect 10, but I do think our scale is realistic enough that he probably exists on a bench somewhere. We also didn't give out too many low scores: no zeros or ones, and we only gave a player a 2 if we thought he maybe wanted to eat us for dinner. Some of them were mean mugging in their pictures, and man, those mugs are mean.

Interesting note: Laura said that when she was tutoring football players at ECU, the o-line players were always like big teddy bears, but the defense players were straight mean sometimes.

That said, this was our score distribution among all 140 players:

The highest score Laura gave anyone was an 8; she gave those to Tom Brady and Tony Romo.

My highest score was a 9, and that was to Rob Gronkowski.

We each gave 6 people a lowest score of 2, but I was too lazy to figure out if they were the same 6.

You can view the entire spreadsheet, and all of our individual rankings here.

And here are the results:

Or in graphical form:

As you probably guessed, Jeffrey really lucked out having practically the entire Patriots offense. He also has two defenses while everyone else has one, so we gave him an averaged 3.5 for Detroit Lions (such a pretty blue) in lieu of a 15th player. Jeffrey, I'd recommend picking up Rex Grossman if you want a higher score. BUT GEEZ ERIC yo team is ugly. U-G-L-Y, ugly. They uggos.

Finally, I ran a simple function to show correlation between the rank determined by our "algorithm," and our Yahoo! Fantasy rankings, and it is 0.32. HAHA.

I also tried to see if there was a correlation between our average score and our Fantasy point totals, and it's a slightly higher 0.54. So maybe.

In conclusion, Laura and I will probably have to adjust our algorithm and re-rank, but I have some great ideas like adding points for dating Kim Kardashian, and subtracting points for getting arrested.