Thursday, September 26, 2013

Predictions: Week 4

Week 4 - marking the finish to the first quarter of the regular season, and the beginning of bye week woes.  #hashtagpredictions

Tim
Last week's record(2-4)
Overall record(9-9)
Percentage0.50

Pinchers of Peril (1-2) v. Password is Taco (2-1)
I will not say anything else, because I learned my lesson from last week.  #proverbs1618  #fellinghard  #toolateialreadyfellhard
Winner: Password is Taco

Spider Pig (1-2) v. Charlotte Hornets (1-2)
Abraham is taking a risk starting T.Rich, but I'm thinking it might just pay off this week.  I'm happy to see Luke finally having the chops to start Gio, but I'm thinking it won't be enough.  #carolinarbsinthenfl  #wolfpackwhereyouat  #andrebrowndontcountcauseheshurt
Winner: Charlotte Hornets

Choux AKA Sweet Buns (2-1) v. The Pain Train (3-0)
The Pain Train has no intentions of slowing down.  Shady will be back, and Gabs has enough peripheral help to fill in the holes left by his missing Packers players.  Oh, and Aaron - make sure to start the players that will score the most points this week.  Just in case you forget. #piggybackingoffluke #didyougetthatpigreference
Winner: The Pain Train

Ham'wheelin'&dealin (1-2) v. Jen Wong's Team (2-1)
I'm thinking Vick will play better and the Saints will be up early on Monday Night, thus relying less on Brees and the passing game.  I'm also giving Eric the upper hand at RB this week.  #vickbetterdobetterbecausehesonmyotherfantasyteam  #fredjacksonstopstealingpointsfromcjpooper
Winner: Ham'wheelin'&dealin

Seenie J (2-1) v. Unicorn Burps (2-1)
Jeff lucks out with a good week to play David's Rodgers-less team.  BUT, Cam-less Seenie encounters a problem, and his RBs just aren't enough to give him the W.  #howtheheckisjeffsteam2and1  #jeffyourtimewillcome  #pinchersofperilareafteryou
Winner: Unicorn Burps

You've Changed Bro (1-2) v. Terrific Tortoises (0-3)
Duke says his team sucks and doesn't deserve to be so high on the rankings.  I could possibly agree with that.  After all, his argument is that he's starting Denarius Moore.  But for this week, he'll see that his team isn't the suckiest.  #startingrodstreaterisworse  #notsoterrific
Winner: You've Changed Bro

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Tim's Feelings?


Loving all the feelings this year. It's so Drake

Power Rankings: Week 3

I've been busy this week, because Tina and I are moving (to a bigger place, still in Seattle), so this should be short and sweet.  Plus, 40.86 points?!


1. The Pain Train (3-0) [1]

Gabs still shows the consistency to stay at the top.  You could maybe make a case for the Unicorns as the #1 team, but I don't think the argument is strong enough yet, so I'm not going to go there.


2. Unicorn Burps (2-1) [2]

I know he's itching to get to the top.  He's been getting help on all fronts, so that's been impressive.  We'll see if they can keep it up.  At least his team has been pretty consistent.


3. You've Changed Bro (1-2) [9]

I keep flip-flopping on Duke's team, mainly because I have no idea what to make of it.  And since no other team is clearly deserving of the #3 spot in the rankings, Duke kind of makes it by default.  As a whole, he's had a comparatively decent first three weeks, and we've seen he can manage a team full of injured players pretty well.  It takes guts to start Bilal Powell, and even though Duke really had no choice, he still benefited from it (point-wise, not win-wise).


4. Ham'wheelin'&dealin (1-2) [4]

Our league really is a mess.  Outside of Gabs and David Lin, we have very little consistency.  I feel like this is the case every season, but it seems more exaggerated this season.  Maybe it's because we expanded to a 12-team league.  Anyways, Eric doesn't move in the rankings, even though his team didn't perform to par in Week 3.  I still think he has the pieces to put together something dangerous, especially when his players start getting un-hurt.


5. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (2-1) [6]

Ok, let's be real here.  Aaron's win against Luke was not that impressive.  As in, if it weren't for Eric Decker, Aaron would have been in deep doo.  As in, the rest of his team, outside of Jimmy Graham and Joique Bell, played poorly.  But he still won.  And his team still looks pretty good on paper.  And no one else is making a case to be ranked higher.  So I'll give it to him this week.  Enjoy it while it lasts, Mr. Vader.


6. Password is Taco (2-1) [5]

All I can say is, I feel you, Justina.  Chalk it up to a bad week, and we'll move on.


7.  Charlotte Hornets (1-2) [12]

Not to take away from Abraham's team's performance, because even though he played my poop of a team (see explanation below), his team still put up a good performance.  I'm wondering when he picked up Bernard Pierce.  Nice move.  I'm not sure Abraham's team can consistently put up the same numbers as he did in Week 3, but if he manages his team properly, he could surprise some of us.


8. Jen Wong's Team (2-1) [11]

Jen's team has been doing better and better each week, and I think it's time they deserve a lift in the rankings.  Time will tell if this trajectory is sustainable.


9. Poopers of Peril (1-2) [3]

I was incredibly frustrated with Fantasy Football this weekend.  To the point where after I saw how my players did, I didn't even read any fantasy news or update my team or even go to the league site.  I didn't even care.  My whole team stunk a fart bomb, and I wouldn't be unjustified to put it even further down in the rankings.  However, I still think my players have what it has to redeem themselves.  So I'm hoping next week will be a better one.  But seriously, what an embarrassment.  Note that I renamed my team Poopers of Peril for this week's rankings.  I found that you can just replace a part of someone's name with "poop" and it makes for a funny exercise.  C.J. Pooper.  HaPoop Nicks.  Daryl Poopardson.  DaPoop Wilson.  I hate my team right now.


10. Seenie J (2-1) [10]

Jeff's team didn't show me anything this week that would make me want to change his rank.  His RBs were good as usual, and Cam had a good week.  Can Cam keep it up?  If so, Jeff will have more to work with.


11. Spider Pig (1-2) [7]

After an impressive Week 1, the Pig has been disappointing.  So it was time to put him where he belonged.  I don't think he'll stay down here for too long, but his team's past two weeks have warranted his placement here.


12. Terrific Tortoises (0-3) [8]

I don't even know what to say.  His team looked so flippin' good on paper!  AND I found him an awesome icon!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Predictions: Week 3

Tim
Last week's record(3-3)
Overall record(7-5)
Percentage0.58

Pinchers of Peril (1-1) v. Charlotte Hornets (0-2)
This is a classic reason why I dislike Yahoo's projected points.  Sure, my players may no have as many "favorable matchups" as Abraham's players, but I don't care.  I think at the level my WRs have been performing, I'm not worried about any unfavorable matchups this week.  I mean, c'mon, to say I'd lose to the lowly Hornets.. The nerve...
And watch me lose now.
Winner: Pinchers of Peril

Spider Pig (1-1) v. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (1-1)
To start Gio or not, that is the question.  If I were Luke, I would - he has more potential upside than Chris Johnson and the Titans.  And it looks like Aaron is going to stick with Carson Palmer over Russell Wilson.  Still liking the decision to pick up Russell Wilson in Round 4, Aaron?  Carson Palmer was, what, Round 14?  Anyways, I'm thinking Luke's team will bounce back from a forgettable Week 2.  He may not take Aaron to school like Lebron did to Splitter, but I'm liking Luke's team this week.
Winner: Spider Pig

Password is Taco (2-0)  v. Jen Wong's Team (1-1)
Assuming Justina gets around to starting players that will actually be playing on Sunday (uh.. Steven Jackson?  uh.. Malcolm Floyd?), I like her chances against Jen's team.  Justina's team has something to prove, don't they?  Even with a partially-banged-up team, I think she'll be able to get the job done.
Winner: Password is Taco

Ham'wheelin'&dealin (1-1) v. Unicorn Burps (1-1)
With Eric's uncertain RB situation, it's hard to see how he'll be able to handle David's stiff competition.  I could see Vick blowing up again, and Eric's WRs having big days, but I think David can easily counter that with his blessing of unicorns.  Too much  magic.  Too much power.
Winner: Unicorn Burps

Seenie J (1-1) v. Terrific Tortoises (0-2)
This is David's week, I can feel it.  Julian Edelman will only do as well as Tom Brady does, and as long as Jeff's RBs don't go on ridiculous sprees (which is, unfortunately for David, fairly conceivable), David has a good chance of pulling out his first W.  I'm rooting for him, if that will help any.  And props for the James Starks pickup - I think it'll have an immediate payoff for him this week.
Winner: Terrific Tortoises

You've Changed Bro (1-1) v. The Pain Train (2-0)
With Ray Rice's status uncertain, Duke will probably be banking on Peyton Manning on A.J. Green having big days in order to give him a chance against Gabs's team.  I don't think their days will be big enough for that this week, though.
Winner: The Pain Train

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Special Message for Aaron

How deep is balls deep?

Power Rankings: Week 2

Week 2 seemed to bring clarity for some teams (top 2 and bottom 3), but confusion for most (#3-9).  Here's to hoping that more clarity comes sooner, but knowing that you hardly ever get what you ask for in fantasy football.  Flex?!


1. The Pain Train (2-0) [1]

Even with the early exit of Eddie Lacy, Gabs scores the 2nd most in the league this week, with much help from Julio Jones.  Pretty impressive, in my opinion.  Even if RGIII goes down again, Philip Rivers has been doing pretty well the first two weeks, so I think Gabs's team is in a pretty good place right now.  RB2 may be his only weakness, if he even has any at this point.  Gabs's team is still the one to beat.


2. Unicorn Burps (1-1) [2]

Sure, David loses and an argument could be made to bump him down in the rankings, but I'm not convinced there's a team worthy of surpassing him quite yet.  I like his QB and TE situation, and although his WRs didn't do as well as they did in Week 1, I think they'll generally do better than Week 2 showed us.  RBs are a little weak, but I think he can rely on his other players to lead his blessing of unicorns.  I bet you didn't know that, did you?  A group of unicorns is called a blessing.  You're welcome, for making you smarter.


3. Pinchers of Peril (1-1) [6]

I'm not so sure my 3 WRs can provide 40+ points every week, but I'm going to milk it while I can.  If C.J. Spiller can stay in the double digits on a consistent basis and Andrew Luck doesn't mess things up too much, I think I can live with the disappointing David Wilson.


4. Ham'wheelin'&dealin (1-1) [7]

Muscle Hamster with the top score of the week!  I was having doubts, but his team proved me wrong, yet again.  If they can be more consistent, they'll be steadily moving up in the rankings.  I'm not a fan of roller coaster performances (unless you're talking about Eric's at Cedar Point), but I'm thinking his team will show us more Week 2's than they will Week 1's.  One recommendation I would give him is to never start Tony Romo again, except for maybe Vick's bye week.  But even then, look for another QB on the waivers if possible.  I know, I know, there will be weeks where Vick lays a goose egg, but I'd ride him hard for all he's worth, at least for now.  As far as RBs, even with Reggie Bush's status unknown, I think Eric can get by with Fred Jackson hogging all the red-zone runs for the Bills, at least until he can get some healthy RBs back in the lineup.


5. Password is Taco (2-0) [9]

Ok, it's time to show Justina's team a little more respect.  This is somewhat reminiscent of 2011 when I had little-to-no respect for Justina's team, and then she showed us all up and became the league champ.  While this season's team has not yet reached the level of the 2011 JUSTINA OWNS status, it definitely has proven to be one to watch out for.  Beast Mode showed us what he's capable of (one of those TDs was just a gimme, which would have probably cost Justina the game, but still would have given her a respectable amount of points), and Greg Olsen showed us he's the only one that can do anything on that sorry Panthers team ($10 says Rivera is gone next season, if not sooner).  Kaepernick won't play so poorly each week (hopefully), so I'd say Justina's team is in pretty decent shape.  Good thing she picked up Jacuzzi to back that Jackson up.


6. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (1-1) [3]

Week 1 was forgivable, but two weeks in the bottom half of the league in scoring merits a bump down in the rankings.  Not knowing who to start at RB2 may continue to bug Aaron, especially now that Joique Bell will probably be getting more touches.  Jimmy Graham yet again proves to be a smart selection, but he'll need more than Graham and Foster to keep his team going.  I'm thinking about changing his team photo, because every time I look at it I get hungry for some pastries... Oh, speaking of which..


7.  Spider Pig (1-1) [5]

Perhaps as a response to Luke's lowered self-esteem, his team gives an esteem-less Week 2 performance.  He's got some hope on the bench with Gio having a great MNF and Tavon Austin turning heads, but it's a matter of how comfortable he feels starting either of them over his current starters.  It may not be a bad idea in Golden Tate's case, but he'll need a little more help from Fitz and Torrey Smith in order to stay competitive.


8. Terrific Tortoises (0-2) [8]

David's team put together a respectable Week 2 showing, but he just had to go up against the highest scoring team of the week.  Someone has to do it, unfortunately.  I still believe in David's team, though.  I think it has all the pieces outside of solid RBs for a good run.  Surely it's enough to get him higher in the standings and rankings and hopefully improve his general outlook on fantasy football.  Right?!  Don't you just love this game, David?  Don't you?


9. You've Changed Bro (1-1) [4]

It's hard for me to comprehend why I gave Duke's team such a high bump up after Week 1.  Surely I should have known that it was a fluke, right?  Well, his team got a big reality check this week, going from being the 2nd highest scoring team to the lowest scoring team.  And Ray Rice's status is... who knows.  I wanted to put him somewhere in the #6-8 range, because I don't like making drastic moves in the rankings, but I have a feeling his team will be staying down here for a while.


10. Seenie J (1-1) [10]

It's an ugly win for Jeff, but I doubt he's complaining.  After 2 weeks, I'm still not seeing enough at the WR spot to convince me that his team deserves a bump up.  Stick to studying, Jeff - it'll probably pay off more in the long run.


11. Jen Wong's Team (1-1) [12]

Jen pulls off a somewhat-impressive win, but mostly on the auspices of Seattle's Defense.  Not to downplay the importance of having a solid Defense, but she won't be able to rely on them getting 22 points a week for her.  The same goes for Knowshon Moreno, especially with Denver's RB-by-committee approach and their heavy usage of the passing game.  For now, I'll keep her team down here, although with some good fortune (Drew Brees playing to his expected level, the Brees-Colston doubling factor, and T.Y. Hilton keeping it up, as well as Seattle D continuing to dominate), Jen's team could move up in the rankings.  Baby steps.


12. Charlotte Hornets (0-2) [11]

Oh, what a bitter loss for the Bobcats.  Abraham's team has managed to score the least amount of combined points the past two weeks, and I'm not sure the future looks much more promising.  Laura's crappy luck has unfortunately lingered, and even a name change hasn't helped Abraham in this case.  Is Week 2 too early to call a season a rebuilding year?  Maybe not, because I think the Panthers are already chalking this year up to be one.  Here's my hypothesis: it must be the inclusion of "Charlotte" in Abraham's team's name that's doing it.  That has to be it.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Predictions: Week 2

I'm surprised - no one is up for challenging me again this season?!

Tim
Last week's record(4-2)
Overall record(4-2)
Percentage0.67

Pinchers of Peril (0-1) v. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (1-0)
Starting Carson Palmer over Danger Russ?  Sure, he's up against the 49ers.  And he didn't do as well as Palmer did last week.  But I'd start the younger QB in this case, since the Seahawks game will be a big rival game, on a Sunday Night, at home, and Palmer is just... old.  (Fun fact - who is the oldest starting QB in the NFL?  Of course, Peyton Manning (age 37).  Who is the oldest current QB in the NFL?  Jeff Garcia (age 43)!  And did you know that Tom Brady (age 36) is only one year younger than Peyton Manning?!  He looks like he's... 25.  So dreamy.)  Wait, but why am I giving Aaron advice on how to beat me?  Disregard.  Thanks, Sweet Buns - I needed the Week 2 win anyways.  :)  Even if C.J. Spiller only gives me 4 points.
Winner: Pinchers of Peril

Spider Pig (1-0) v. The Pain Train (1-0)
I'm liking RG3 against the Packers, all of Gabs's WRs over Luke's, and while Luke's RBs will probably outperform Gabs's, I think Gabs's intagibles (i.e. having Terry Tate as your mascot) will propel him to victory.  And sorry about your team photo, Luke.  Pigs are fat.  At least the tasty ones are.  You should rename your team Spider Bacon.  Mmm... Bacon.
Winner: The Pain Train

Charlotte Hornets (0-1) v. Jen Wong's Team (0-1)
Abraham smarted up and is starting Welker this week.  He's got too many RBs to know what to do with himself, though.  I'll be happy to take DeAngelo off your hands, Abraham.  I'll give you David Wilson - projected breakout of the year.  Or you could donate some to Jen - it looks like her team is in need of a few good RBs as well.  If the Brees-Colston connection can exponentiate for Jen, then Abraham may have something to worry about.  Otherwise, this one should be a relatively easy win for the Hornets, circa 1990s, the days of Grandmama Johnson.
Winner: Charlotte Hornets

Password is Taco (1-0) v. Unicorn Burps (1-0)
Aaron Rodgers in a shootout with RG3 - that's what's going to happen, right?  I can't see Marshawn and Steven Jackson having breakout weeks, so David's QB and WRs save the day.  The unicorn is burping because of the taco it had Sunday afternoon?  Is that how that works?
Winner: Unicorn Burps

Ham'wheelin'&dealin (0-1) v. Terrific Tortoises (0-1)
I'm glad Eric decided to start Vick over Romo.  Romo sucks.  I have a feeling David won't hit his stride this week quite yet, for the following reasons:
1. I'm not particularly keen about his RBs, especially with Ridley stinking it up last week.
2. Roddy White is questionable for the week.
3. Who knows how Megatron will respond to last week's debacle.  I don't think it will be pretty.  In a bad way, for David.
4. Tom Brady is 36 years old!?
Winner: Ham'wheelin'&dealin

Seenie J (0-1) v. You've Changed Bro (1-0)
Even if Duke leaves his TE spot empty, I think he's got a good shot against Jeff's team.  I doubt Manning will have another monster day, but I think that brother rivalry will get his 37-year-old chops going, and he'll do well.  The only thing keeping Jeff in it are his RBs and his nice waiver wire pickup Edelman (who is making bank with all these Patriots getting hurt), but I don't think it will be enough for him this week.
Winner: You've Changed Bro

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Power Rankings: Week 1

And Week 1 reminds us of how much we love and how much we hate fantasy football.  Right?

1. The Pain Train (1-0) [1]

I don't see a convincing reason to bump Gabs's team down yet.  Sure, his team didn't score the most points in Week 1, but it still produced a solid performance without James Jones doing anything.  I would argue pretty much all of his players gave a performance they were expected to give, so no real surprises here.  On top of that, Julio Jones may get more looks now that Roddy White is half broken.


2. Unicorn Burps (1-0) [5]

David puts together a dominant Week 1, with much help from a previously-no-name TE who had a ridiculous QB throwing to him on Thursday night.  Will it happen again?  Maybe not to that same degree, but I think Julian Thomas will treat David quite well this season.  Not to mention another Bronco named Thomas.  I'm waiting for these numbers to happen every week before giving David the top spot, but it's definitely achievable in the near future.  Peyton Manning may not throw 7 TDs again, but that doesn't mean the Thomas duo won't still be heavily involved.


3. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (1-0) [3]

Aaron's team has the right players to make a great team, so I'm not concerned he scored in the bottom half of the league this week.  He even has some nice sleepers on the bench if he needs to go there.  Victor Cruz saved him from embarrassment and got him by this week, but I believe in Aaron's ability to make his team work in future weeks.


4. You've Changed Bro (1-0) [11]

I'll start by saying Peyton Manning will be not scoring 60+ points a week, so Duke definitely lucked out to a certain extent this first week.  However, even you took away half of Manning's points (giving him 30 points, which is much more conceivable), Duke would have still broken 100 off of impressive performances by Ray Rice, Ryan Mathews, and A.J. Green.  While Mathews probably won't put up those numbers on a weekly basis, I think Rice and Green can be relied upon.  And if Peyton Manning can continue to show glimpses of his old days, Duke's team may be a force to be reckoned with.


5. Spider Pig (1-0) [6]

Even though Luke's team beat mine, I'm not all that impressed with how his team performed.  I'm not sure he can bank on Vernon Davis as his 2nd highest scorer each week and expect to win games.  And while his RB1, WR1 and WR2 are pretty good options, he's hoping he doesn't have to look to his bench for help in any circumstances.  Because it may not look too pretty.  I don't know, maybe I'm just bitter that he beat me.  But I guess it would make sense to keep him ahead of my team...


6. Pinchers of Peril (0-1) [7]

David Wilson - I knew he was going to be trouble.  Freaking fftoolbox.com said he would be the breakout player of the year.  More like breaksuck player of Week 1.  And C.J. Spiller.. giving me RB woes all over again.  But hey, I like the rest of my team.  So far, at least.


7. Ham'wheelin'&dealin (0-1) [2]

While Eric had a very unfavorable matchup this week, to be fair, the only other team he would have beaten is David Li's team.  So let's not go there.  Eric's RBs did pretty well, but not well enough to make up for his disappointing WRs.  Maybe I overhyped his team a little during the preseason.  But I think he has upside - Eric has a way of getting things done.  So I wouldn't be overly concerned at this point.  That doesn't mean he deserves a higher spot in the rankings, though.


8. Terrific Tortoises (0-1) [4]

Ouch.  I'm not sure what else to say.  David falls back to last place in the league, in spite of early praises about a good draft.  I think his outlook is positive, which is why he isn't at the very bottom of the power rankings.  But it's definitely looking bleaker than before.  I think he has a decent enough bench to pull from, but with question marks next to a lot of important players (Roddy White, Stevan Ridley, Lamar Miller), it's hard to be certain what the future holds.  Shouldn't Megatron be getting like.. 10 times the amount of points per week?


9. Password is Taco (1-0) [10]

Justina's team had an impressive Week 1, but I'm skeptical as to whether they can keep it up.  I think Kaep will be a huge asset for her team, but I'm still not convinced about the rest of her players.  Marshawn and the Seahawks aren't looking like the Super Bowl team some were claiming them to be a week ago, but then again, they were up against a stiff Panther D.  I can't justify ranking her team higher at this point, though.  I need more proof.  Yes, her team beat David's, but I don't think it could do it again if they played each other Week 2.  If she proves me wrong, her team will definitely move up.


10. Seenie J (0-1) [8]

I'm liking his 1-2 punch at RB, but can't get excited about the rest of his team (besides Cam, who I like for other reasons outside of fantasy).  With nothing on the bench to get excited about (besides his recent waiver pick-ups) and school to consume the majority of his time, Jeff's fantasy outlook isn't so great right now.


11. Charlotte Hornets (0-1) [9]

Abraham had the unlucky privilege of being David Lin's opponent Week 1.  Even if he started all of his highest scoring players, it wouldn't have been enough to even put up a fight.  While nothing really impresses me about Abraham's team at this point, I think if Richardson can step up and Welker continues to put up nice numbers, we could see glimpses of the 90s Charlotte Hornets instead of the 2010s Charlotte Bobcats.


12. Jen Wong's Team (0-1) [12]

I still don't see Jen's team giving people a run for their money.  Drew Brees is her sole bright spot at this point, and that may give her a few wins here and there, but I'm not convinced it's enough to be a threat.  It's all about the team name.  Her's is just not intimidating.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Predictions: Week 1

Here's to a better-than-57% prediction season: Week 1 Predictions.  Sad about the lack of long descriptions?  Well...


Pinchers of Peril (0-0) v. Spider Pig (0-0)
I'm not sure I believe in David Wilson yet.  I think this one will be close.
Winner: Spider Pig

Choux AKA Sweet Buns (0-0) v. Jen Wong's Team (0-0)
Refer to their relative pre-season power rankings if you have questions.
Winner: Choux AKA Sweet Buns

Charlotte Hornets (0-0) v. Unicorn Burps (0-0)
The 49ers have a stiff D, but Aaron Rodgers wins it for David.
Winner: Unicorn Burps

Password is Taco (0-0) v. Terrific Tortoises (0-0)
David reaps the benefits of his draft... for himself... and for Justina?
Winner: Terrific Tortoises

Ham'wheelin'&dealin (0-0) v. You've Changed Bro (0-0)
I'm liking Michael Vick.  And not liking Duke's team.
Winner: Ham'wheelin'&dealin

Seenie J (0-0) v. The Pain Train (0-0)
As long as Shady and Gore don't get hurt on the first play...
Winner: The Pain Train