You guys don't need my playoff predictor anymore. There are essentially 5 teams fighting for the last 3 spots, and I have a feeling it will literally go down to the wire.
Here are your scenarios for each team, if I did my calculating correctly:
Terrific Tortoises
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win.
2. A loss, and a loss from BOTH DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules! (let's face it, David's team probably won't score 70 more points than mine does. As much garbage as my team is.).
Is out of the playoffs with:
1. A loss, and a win from EITHER DeMarco Da Murrier or Odoyle rules!
#myteamSUCKS
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win (Justina's team might score 50 more points than Eric's team, but mine for sure won't score 120 more points.).
2. A loss, and a loss from BOTH DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules!, also having to score more than 50 points than DeMarco Da Murrier.
Is out of the playoffs with:
1. A loss, and a win from EITHER DeMarco Da Murrier or Odoyle rules!
DeMarco Da Murrier
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win.
2. A loss, and a loss from Odoyle rules! AND either: (a) a loss from #myteamSUCKS, scoring more than 50 points less than DeMarco Da Murrier or (b) a loss from The Pain Train, scoring less than 20 points more than DeMarco Da Murrier.
Is out of the playoffs with:
1. A loss, and a win from Odoyle rules!
The Pain Train
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win, and The Pain Train scoring 42 more points than Odoyle rules! IF DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules! both win.
2. A loss, and a loss from BOTH DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules! AND scoring 42 more points than Odoyle rules!
Is out of the playoffs with:
1. A win, and BOTH DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules! win, with Odoyle rules! scoring 42 more points than The Pain Train.
1. A loss, and a win from EITHER DeMarco Da Murrier or Odoyle rules!
Odoyle rules!
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win, and a loss from EITHER Terrific Tortoises or DeMarco Da Murrier
Is out of the playoffs with:
2. A win, and a win from BOTH Terrific Tortoises and DeMarco Da Murrier
3. A loss.
As you can see, David Li, Eric, and Justina all control their own destinies. A simple win will secure them a spot in the playoffs. Gabs and I, on the other hand, will need some other pieces to fall into place in order to keep our post-season hopes alive. We shall see how it unfolds. What do I predict? The last 3 teams in the playoffs will be Eric, Justina, and me. David Li will fall to Jamaal and Co. because Andrew is ruthless, and I will magically pull an upset over David Lin. Bribery might be involved in this one.
1. Charlotte Hornets (8-4) [1]
The line separating Abraham's team and Jeff's team is very thin and fragile, and is being closely vultured by the Unicorns. Abraham will retain his #1 spot in my rankings simply because he didn't have his superstar player Antonio Brown this week, so his team has a good excuse.
2. Seenie J (8-4) [2]
I look at Jeff's team, and I'm impressed by the record, but am wondering how he pulls off some of his wins. Justin Forsett with 31 points?? Is he really going to be that good moving forward? Maybe. Sure, he has other pieces to go deep in the playoffs (Luck, Maclin, Forte), but he got majorly bailed out this week, in my opinion.
3. Unicorn Burps (8-4) [3]
You're welcome, David. For OBJ. If Arian Foster recovers and can pull out a few more decent games, David might just be a favorite to win it all this year. But since this week is inconsequential to him making the playoffs, he might as well rest his players. PLZ??
4. I'm Coming Home. (8-4) [4]
That Josh Gordon tho. Already $5 well-spent.
5. Spider Pig (7-5) [6]
Solid statement win. Peyton just has to play in warm conditions and Luke's team could be scary. Once playoffs start, Peyton has favorable conditions for the first two games - so watch out! I'm not sure Shady can keep this up, though. See, we shall.
6. #myteamSUCKS (5-7) [5]
In spite of a loss (and an OUCHsoclose one), Eric's team put up respectable numbers. Not from expected sources (Buffalo Defense with 7 sacks??), but still respectable. He's got good players (Rodgers, Emmanuel Sanders, Jordy, Martellus) He just needs to beat Gabs's team to extend his season, and a week ago, that would have sounded easy. After this week, though, Eric could be in for some trubble.
7. DeMarco Da Murrier (5-7) [7]
gg you deserved a win, finally. All my smack talk back fired, and you were the worthy beneficiary of it. We cool now right?
8. The Pain Train (5-7) [10]
Wowowow. Breezy, Lacy, and Co. helping Gabs make a strong push to finish the season. Didn't I say a few weeks back that Gabs might be the dark horse to capture that 8th spot in the playoffs? If not, maybe I just said it in my head. But it's looking promising after this week!
9. Odoyle rules! (5-7) [9]
True story - Sunday morning at 9:55 AM Pacific Time (12:55 PM Eastern), I was like OH CRAP JORDAN REED IS OUT I HAVE TO FIND A TE. So I pick up Tim Wright. Good decision. And then I'm like EHHHH Tannehill v. Denver or Cutler v. TB? SURELY go with the favorable matchup, right? RIGHT?? Freaking.... bad decision. That moment you regret starting Jay Cutler. Ever. For life.
10. Chou Chainz (4-8) [11]
It was a valiant effort, but Aaron just caught Gabs on the wrong week. Aaron's kind-of managing skills helped him stay in it for just a little bit longer. Not going to lie, though - Yahoo! autodraft in an auction straight SUCKS. Lesson learned.
11. OUCHsoclose (3-9) [12]
Ok that was kind of very hilarious. I love all this smack talking. Andrew, where was your team all season long???
12. Terrific Tortoises (6-6) [8]
I'm going to stop kidding myself that David Li actually can pull together a late-season run. Sure, his record is decent, but ever since Week 4, he's only scored in the top half of the league ONCE. He's been the lowest-scoring team THREE times, the second-lowest scoring team ONCE, and the third-lowest scoring team TWICE. With the lowest score in the "points-for" category, I think it's safe to put the Tortoises at the bottom, in spite of what their record may show.
