Monday #Lulz

Guess what, everyone?  If Jeremy Maclin gets NEGATIVE 14 points tonight - aka if he fumbles the ball 7 times and never gets a single catch for positive yardage... I'll still have more points than David Lin.  #LULZZZZZZ

What's more (objectively) impressive, but something I personally care less about, is how Abraham's team is absolutely demolishing Duke's.  What a waste of 158+ points, since Duke will likely to be the lowest scorer this week.  If you thought my lead over David Lin's was bad, here's a better stat: If Jamaal Charles scores NEGATIVE 96 points tonight - aka if he runs the ball for negative 500 yards, fumbles (and loses) the ball 20 times, and throws 3 interceptions - Abraham will still beat Duke.  That's almost too sad to #Lulz over.  At the same time, it's so ridiculous that I find myself #Lulz-ing anyways.

How did the annual-and-sometimes-bi-annual matchup between the lovebirds fly so under the radar this week?  Even with Big Ben hurt and starting a now-backup DeAngelo, Justina's team still stomped David's.  That is, unless Mason Crosby gets 37 (positive) points tonight.  That's only, what?  4 50+ yard field goals and 17 extra points, right?  You might #Lulz, but Jeff's hoping it will be more like 37 extra points.

Jeff's all about that Aaron Rodgers-to-James Jones connection tonight, amirite?  Maybe Randall Cobb either gets hurt or is somehow forgotten (since we all know Davante Adams has been garbage so far) and Eddie Lacy never even touches the ball.  Rodgers-to-Jones all night.  Then Jeff might win.  But really, it looks like third time won't be a charm for Jeff this season.  Is Jeff's team really that bad?  Yes.  #Lulz-fully so.  I was actually feeling bad for Gabs earlier this week for having such a sad team, but it surprises me to see that Jeff's seems to be doing worse.  Granted, when Antoniold Gates gets back in action, things will get better, but enough to make his team contenders?  0-3 is a tough hole to dig out of.

All this happening while Aaron subtly brags about how awesome his team is.  On Gmail.  #Lulz.  I honestly don't know what to make of Aaron's team.  Carson Palmer has out-scored Andrew Luck for the past three weeks, and Aaron has had De Nuts to start Palmer over Luck!  Even if he forgot to start Le'Veon Bell this week, Aaron would probably still win over Luke.  And let's not forget that he freaking drafted Duron Carter for $4 - the same price he paid for Steve Smith Beastior!  If we break down his draft again, for all practical purposes, Aaron has only used $73 of his draft day money.  Remember the $44 he spent on Andrew Luck?  Hasn't needed it.  Or the $69 on Le'Veon Bell?  Hasn't (really) needed it.  $8 on CJ Spiller?  Hasn't needed it.  Oh, and the $4 on Duron Carter?  Hasn't needed it.  What. The. Crap.  I can't help but #Lulz at it.  In amazement.  Maybe the aaronisyourdaddy days are back.

I'm not going to lie - it literally took me all day Sunday to figure out what Andrew's new team name meant.  Then I #Lulz-ed.  The level of cleverness is off the charts.  But does that mean Green Bay Defense will score 4 or more points so that Andrew's not crying his own team name all Tuesday???

On a somewhat unrelated note - tomorrow is National Coffee Day.  Which means free doughnut and small coffee at Krispy Kreme.  Also, free medium coffee at Dunkin Donuts.  If you want gas station (aka crappier) coffee, Wawa and Sheetz are also giving away free coffees.  And if you live in Seattle (Gabs), free 12 oz coffee at Top Pot.  Since I know all of you will be up watching MNF tonight.  Or doing something equally unproductive.

Fun Fact Friday

Since no one really cares about what happened last night (except maybe David Lin because of his crush OBJ - props on the Moncrief-fueled comeback, btw, in spite of it probably taking away from my OldAndre Almost3Points Johnson-fueled comeback), here's your fun fact for Friday:

Like Riley Curry, did you know Luke used to dance too?

Oh, how I wish I had video footage of this...

On that note, peace out until Sunday, playaz.

#MondayLulz Emoji Edition

Monday Lulz in emojis:


Abraham is starting to bring the  like I thought his team would.  A little bit  about Tony Romo, but I'm sure he'll figure something out.  Not as bad of a  as Eddie Lacy for Gabs, though.   He might need some better  .



I'll be honest, I'm somewhat surprised by Eric's team's .  But I won't forget to mention  since she is currently beating me.  Tina observed yesterday that Justina seems to always be doing  in fantasy.  I told Tina, yes, that's true, but this week it's also partly because she is playing me. 



David Lin Thursday night:


David Lin Sunday night:

Looks like he might be throwing around some more FAAB  this Wednesday.

As predicted, Aaron's team goes from  to .

Aaron is also pushing some new "Facebook Page" - well, we are all happy with  and   and  THANKYOUVERYMUCH



Andrew is still so  with his name changes.  I think it might help him win .  So far, it's working better than . Maybe David Li should reconsider ?  Or for Abraham: .



I'll be  for  points tonight, as will , I'm sure.  Since Carlos S. Hyde couldn't do me a  this week, here's to Andre 3000 Points Johnson catching a lot of  tonight.

Fun Fact Friday

Since Thursday Night Football introduces another awkward stretch when we have to twiddle our thumbs and put up with college football before Sunday, I thought I'd try a little something new: Fun Fact Friday, lady and gents.  How is this different from #MondayLulz?  It's Friday.

Fun Facts this Friday:

1. Comic Sans is #1.
   Granted, it's the first week, and he got there in large part because of the beast performance of his newly-named-team's mascot, but his team is still #1.  What a comeback - who'da thunk.  Sorry, DeEz.
2. Aaron is #2.
   If you would have told me this a week ago, I would have thought you were on drugs.  If you told me a week ago that Aaron wants to try and get us to use Facebook more, I would have thought: "Typical, as if I needed to waste more time in my life."
3. Aaron starting DeMarco Murray AND Darren Sproles maybe wasn't such a bad idea.
   I really should stop talking smack about Aaron's team.
4. David Lin, the reigning champion, is last.
   Maybe the Super Bowl curse applies to Fantasy too.
5. The last time David Lin spent $30 on a Quarterback was... Kirk Cousins.
   Remind me again how that one panned out?  Envious, am I?  Ok, yes, maybe.  But I will add that David spent over half of his FAAB money on waivers in one day ($60, for those of you not counting), renamed his team to highlight one of his new acquisitions, and didn't even start his team's namesake.  That's a lot of moniez to pay for a name change.
6. Andrew has not cleverly renamed his team yet.
   And that's probably why his team is not winning right now.
7. Teams that got screwed over by Monday Night comebacks last week: 4.
   Sorry not sorry to David Li, Justina, Abraham, and Duke.  I haven't been counting, but it seems reasonable to assert that that's a record of some sort.
8. My team scored more points than David's team last week.
   Pick one - yup, it's true.  Pick another one - still true.

#MondayLulz

tl;dr ~~My whole team is a #MondayLulz~~

I would like to know which one of you planted a parasite in my brain to make me think that it was a better idea to start Eli Crapping over Cam Newton.  My other decisions for starters I can live with, but how could I have forgotten the suckness of Eli in this fantasy world?  Seriously, how does this guy have 2 Super Bowl Rings?  *sigh*  Regardless, when your kicker is your highest scorer at 10 points for the week, you are deserving of some major #Lulz.  Laugh it up, because my team deserves it.  And I'm not keeping my hopes high in Carlos Hyde beating out Graham Gano in points for the week.  David Li must be ecstatic.  ~~My whole team is a #MondayLulz~~

I'm not going to lie, though - I was a little tickled to see this:

But I'm not going to say much more, because there's a good chance David Lin's team would have still beaten mine this week.  ~~My whole team is a #MondayLulz~~

David Lin can probably relate to this, though: I didn't realize Week 1 of Fantasy Football could already lead to early signs of depression.  ~~My whole team is a #MondayLulz~~

Is Andrew Poon back to his customized weekly team names?  HE IS SO CLEVER GUY!

And Yahoo! is backing him up on this one, too.  Which means about as much as my entire team right now aka nothing bka garbagesux.  ~~My whole team is a #MondayLulz~~

Ok, I should stop talking smack about Aaron's team.  Even if he is starting two running backs from the same team tonight.  At least he's favored to win - I guess it's hard to talk when two of his players outscore my entire team.  Humbled, I have been.  ~~My whole team is a #MondayLulz~~

I for sure thought Justina had this week in the bag.  But Tyler Eifert managed to neutralize the Gronk effect, and the Panthers D stepped it up big time - Comic Sans refuses to remain irrelevant!  Props to Eric, for putting up a fight.  We'll see if Julio can save him tonight.

Oh, and ~~My whole team is a #MondayLulz~~

And So The Season Begins

As the first game of the NFL season kicks off, a part of me could care less (the part that realized how crappy my FF team ended up being... before the season even started), but another part of me is excited to see how this FF season unfolds (the usual drama, poking fun, #MondayLulz, etc. etc.).


As most of you know, #TomShady won his fight against the powers that be, and will be playing tonight, but the Panthers will always be Super Bowl 38 champions in my mind.  Who knows what kind of cheating went on that year - no joke, I wouldn't be surprised if the Patriots deflated John Kasay's kicking ball, making him shank it out of bounds that last kick-off.  #GloryDays



I'm sure Duke is happy about the ruling, though.

Not that starting Sam Bradford would have been all that bad, but #TomShady will be playing with a chip on his shoulder tonight, I'm sure.  On a somewhat unrelated note, am I the only one that thinks it's funny how half of Duke's team is either old (#TShade, VJax, Arian Foster, Megatron) or injury-prone (Bradford, Foster, Megatron, JStew, Legarrette Blunts)?  Is it true that our drafting / player selection is just a reflection of who we are?  ~Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy~


Duke also almost lucked out this week, by playing Aaron.  I mean, he still lucked out, since he is still playing Aaron, but he almost lucked out big time.  Aaron touts his ability to bring back the aaronisyourdaddy days, but he nearly started Le'Veon Bell tonight, and a part of me wonders if he would have forgotten the NFL season started today if it weren't for Eric's timely e-mail.  Oh, no worries though - Aaron's still got the re-incarnation of Cris Carter.  Watch out.



I've already mentioned David Lin's excessive transaction moves (15 before the first game has even been played) - are we going to see 100+ moves this season, now that some moniez is on the line?  IS THIS WHAT FF HAS DONE TO US????

But looking at what David Lin has actually done for those moves is what entertains me the most.  I can imagine what's going on in his head: "My bench sux cuz I spent all my cash on OBJ, Dez, Peyton, and CJ Anderson.. okokok I can figure this out... Oooh, Jordan Reed, I like him - ok get rid of Duke Johnson, Jr., unproven rookie.  Wait, no I think I like him, ok get rid of Shane Vereen who is #oldnews.  Oh, what about Matt Jones?  In case Alfred Morris sux?  Yeah!  Who to drop... Allen Hurns.  Wait, no, Matt Jones is garbage - I need Shane Vereen back on my team.  How about this Doritos Green-Beckham?  Might get big like his cousin Odell.  Yeah! ...*17 seconds later*... No!  All about that Kamar Aiken - #89 is going to slow down, and Perriman is hurt.  Genius!  Wait, no!  I want Allen Hurns back.... *sigh*  #MyBenchSux"  The struggle is real, David.  Just none of us shows it like you do on the waiver wires.


And how is it that people have already spent FAAB money?  I feel so behind.


Can we talk about wasted draft money for a second?  Poor Justina spends $35 on her kicker, UNC-alumnus Connor Barth, only to have him cut by the Bucs.  Ouch.  I mean, who spends $35 to draft a player, only to drop him before the season even starts?  Oh wait...



I can't help but feel a little sorry for Jeff, too.  I mean, he couldn't land his sweetheart star QB #TShade and went for another big-timer.  But who will he throw it too?



Ok, #RealTalk tho about some serious issues now.

#LULLLLZZZZZ  Did that line just get crossed?

By the way, #DeEz4PrEz



For those of you who will be watching, enjoy the game tonight.  I still hate Thursday night games.