You want Monday Lulz? This is what you get from me and my boy Marshawn:
Monday, November 24, 2014
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Predictions: Week 12
Week 11 Predictions Record: (5-1)
Overall Predictions Record: (38-28)
Hey I think I'm getting the hang of this predicting thing! And then watch me get everything wrong this week. Is anyone even affected by this Thursday night game between KC and Oakland? Besides Jamaal Charles / Andrew, who even doesn't care anymore? I don't think I could even name 3 players on Oakland's team, to be honest. Let's see.. Darren McFadden... James Jones... and... that's all I got.
*~*Game Of The Week*~*
Both teams have made the playoffs, but these two heavyweights will battle it out for playoff position this week. A win would put Duke in much better position to surprisingly grab the #1 spot, but a loss could send Duke into the final week at 4th, only to face Abraham, which could knock him down as far as 6th. Jeff could also find his way up to #1 with a win, but a loss could be even more potentially devastating - possibly pushing him down to 6th by this time next week. We shall see.
Seenie J v. I'm Coming Home.
I'm still not sure what to think of Josh Gordon, but I'm going to stay away from the bold prediction for now and say that Gordon won't blow anyone's socks off in his season debut. He could easily prove me wrong, though. With that said, I'm still liking Jeff to rebound from last week's loss, especially with Luck against an easy defense.
Winner: Seenie J
Remaining Games
Odoyle rules! v. DeMarco Da Murrier
Let's make a deal, Justina. I'll start Justin Reed if you start Greg Olsen. Deal. This is a must-win game for Justina to stay relevant in the playoff picture. It's an important win for my team as well, but I could still conceivably make the playoffs even with a loss, just like the Panthers could still conceivably make the playoffs with a 5-10-1 record. Ridiculous. Justina needs it worse than I do, so I'm going to guess she wins it out of sheer will. Or lose it, out of a sheer lack thereof.
Winner: DeMarco Da Murrier
Unicorn Burps v. Terrific Tortoises
David Li's WRs are not as scary without Kelvin Benjamin, and David Lin's QB (Brady) will likely show up David Li's (McCown). It might just come down to how the RB situation plays out - Arian Foster is Questionable, but so is Gio - who will end up scoring more points? I'm liking David Lin's chances in this one.
Winner: Unicorn Burps
jaMAULing time v. #myteamSUCKS
What can I say? Eric's team is rollin'!
Winner: #myteamSUCKS
The Pain Train v. Chou Chainz
Both teams are still fighting for a glimmer of hope to make the playoffs, although their chances are slimming by the minute. Lacy will probably continue to give Gabs a ton of points, but I'm not sure it'll be enough against Aaron and his duo of opportunistic backup RBs. For the second time in a row, I'm actually liking Aaron's chances in this one. Surprise, surprise.
Winner: Chou Chainz
Charlotte Hornets v. Spider Pig
Luke's team has fallen into a rut, and I'm not convinced this will be the week he pulls out of it. Even without Antonio Brown, Abraham's got enough firepower at WR to give Luke another L.
Winner: Charlotte Hornets
Overall Predictions Record: (38-28)
Hey I think I'm getting the hang of this predicting thing! And then watch me get everything wrong this week. Is anyone even affected by this Thursday night game between KC and Oakland? Besides Jamaal Charles / Andrew, who even doesn't care anymore? I don't think I could even name 3 players on Oakland's team, to be honest. Let's see.. Darren McFadden... James Jones... and... that's all I got.
*~*Game Of The Week*~*
Both teams have made the playoffs, but these two heavyweights will battle it out for playoff position this week. A win would put Duke in much better position to surprisingly grab the #1 spot, but a loss could send Duke into the final week at 4th, only to face Abraham, which could knock him down as far as 6th. Jeff could also find his way up to #1 with a win, but a loss could be even more potentially devastating - possibly pushing him down to 6th by this time next week. We shall see.
Seenie J v. I'm Coming Home.
I'm still not sure what to think of Josh Gordon, but I'm going to stay away from the bold prediction for now and say that Gordon won't blow anyone's socks off in his season debut. He could easily prove me wrong, though. With that said, I'm still liking Jeff to rebound from last week's loss, especially with Luck against an easy defense.
Winner: Seenie J
Remaining Games
Odoyle rules! v. DeMarco Da Murrier
Let's make a deal, Justina. I'll start Justin Reed if you start Greg Olsen. Deal. This is a must-win game for Justina to stay relevant in the playoff picture. It's an important win for my team as well, but I could still conceivably make the playoffs even with a loss, just like the Panthers could still conceivably make the playoffs with a 5-10-1 record. Ridiculous. Justina needs it worse than I do, so I'm going to guess she wins it out of sheer will. Or lose it, out of a sheer lack thereof.
Winner: DeMarco Da Murrier
Unicorn Burps v. Terrific Tortoises
David Li's WRs are not as scary without Kelvin Benjamin, and David Lin's QB (Brady) will likely show up David Li's (McCown). It might just come down to how the RB situation plays out - Arian Foster is Questionable, but so is Gio - who will end up scoring more points? I'm liking David Lin's chances in this one.
Winner: Unicorn Burps
jaMAULing time v. #myteamSUCKS
What can I say? Eric's team is rollin'!
Winner: #myteamSUCKS
The Pain Train v. Chou Chainz
Both teams are still fighting for a glimmer of hope to make the playoffs, although their chances are slimming by the minute. Lacy will probably continue to give Gabs a ton of points, but I'm not sure it'll be enough against Aaron and his duo of opportunistic backup RBs. For the second time in a row, I'm actually liking Aaron's chances in this one. Surprise, surprise.
Winner: Chou Chainz
Charlotte Hornets v. Spider Pig
Luke's team has fallen into a rut, and I'm not convinced this will be the week he pulls out of it. Even without Antonio Brown, Abraham's got enough firepower at WR to give Luke another L.
Winner: Charlotte Hornets
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Power Rankings: Week 12
I had to adjust the playoff predictor a little to account for the fact that Aaron still might actually have a chance to make it. Here are the new and improved numbers:
1. Charlotte Hornets (8-3) [2]
Abraham proved this week that his team deserves to be at the top. His WRs are just so ridiculous. Granted, Mike Evans won't do that every week. But Antonio Brown, Randall Cobb, and Alshon could all blow up at any given week. Weak RBs has been his story the whole season, and it's gotten him a 8-3 record. So whatever works, I guess.
2. Seenie J (7-4) [1]
Not a terrible showing this week, but he was just out-powered by Abraham and Mike Evans. Jeff still has a relatively solid team, so I wouldn't be too worried if I were him.
3. Unicorn Burps (7-4) [3]
David just happened to be in the path of Eric's fantasy bulldozer, unfortunately. He got what he wanted out of his blockbuster trade with Luke - a solid TE - but Gates has to score more than 3.2 points to pay dividends for David. And with a big question mark around Arian Foster's health, David's team could be on the brink of a free fall. At least he's got some good WRs to give him some cushion and AppleJuice Green is looking good again.
4. I'm Coming Home. (8-3) [5]
Josh Gordon could be a game-changer. But even if he isn't, Duke's team is still winning games, which has put them in a good position to make a deep playoff run.
5. #myteamSUCKS (5-6) [7]
Eric is beasting it. 3 of the last 4 weeks has found his team scoring the 1st or 2nd most points in the league. Aaron Rodgers + Jordy Nelson is paying off big time, and that Emmanuel Sanders acquisition is looking better every week. He's even finding serviceable RBs to do some patch work. With one of the easier remaining 2 games (Andrew, Gabs), he's primed for a late-season run, maybe even for the championship, at this rate.
6. Spider Pig (6-5) [4]
Not even the great Peyton could save Luke's team. For the second week in a row, his team scores the fewest points in the league. The good news is, the last time his team did this poorly this season, he bounced back with an impressive 3-game winning streak. He's hoping history will repeat itself. He's got the pieces to make it work. It just has to work. Soon. I think the only thing that will keep him from the playoffs is the last week, when he plays this next team...
7. DeMarco Da Murrier (4-7) [6]
It was a week of terrible luck for Justina. DeMarco is on bye, she's playing David Li, and she loses by 0.30 points. I don't think all hope is lost. I think her team is still good enough to make it into the playoffs. I think.
8. Terrific Tortoises (6-5) [9]
David squeaks out another win to put him in good position for the playoffs. But the win wasn't impressive, so I won't bump his team above Justina's. Since he's playing Andrew's team to finish the season, I think he'll waltz into the playoffs with a 7-6 record. By then, Gio should hopefully be back, and he could potentially pull out a surprise victory or two.
9. Odoyle rules! (5-6) [10]
My team just has to play me like this. Otherwise it wouldn't be fun, right? I've conceded to the fact that if I make the playoffs, I'll get eliminated in the first round. But I just want to be in the top 8 so badly. Fingers crossed.
10. The Pain Train (4-7) [8]
So much potential. Julius going down was a dagger that might have ended Gabs's season. He's up against Aaron and Eric's teams to finish the season, and both teams still have something to prove. It'll be a tough 2 weeks for Gabs.
11. Chou Chainz (4-7) [12]
Even if he can beat Gabs next week and bribes Jeff into fixing that last game, Aaron's chances of making the playoffs are way too slim. He hasn't accumulated enough Points For to beat all the other contenders. It was fun using your team as my fantasy punching bag this year, Aaron.
12. jaMAULing time (2-9) [11]
Oh, Jamaal. Too late, too late.
These last two weeks are going to be cray.
1. Charlotte Hornets (8-3) [2]
Abraham proved this week that his team deserves to be at the top. His WRs are just so ridiculous. Granted, Mike Evans won't do that every week. But Antonio Brown, Randall Cobb, and Alshon could all blow up at any given week. Weak RBs has been his story the whole season, and it's gotten him a 8-3 record. So whatever works, I guess.
2. Seenie J (7-4) [1]
Not a terrible showing this week, but he was just out-powered by Abraham and Mike Evans. Jeff still has a relatively solid team, so I wouldn't be too worried if I were him.
3. Unicorn Burps (7-4) [3]
David just happened to be in the path of Eric's fantasy bulldozer, unfortunately. He got what he wanted out of his blockbuster trade with Luke - a solid TE - but Gates has to score more than 3.2 points to pay dividends for David. And with a big question mark around Arian Foster's health, David's team could be on the brink of a free fall. At least he's got some good WRs to give him some cushion and AppleJuice Green is looking good again.
4. I'm Coming Home. (8-3) [5]
Josh Gordon could be a game-changer. But even if he isn't, Duke's team is still winning games, which has put them in a good position to make a deep playoff run.
5. #myteamSUCKS (5-6) [7]
Eric is beasting it. 3 of the last 4 weeks has found his team scoring the 1st or 2nd most points in the league. Aaron Rodgers + Jordy Nelson is paying off big time, and that Emmanuel Sanders acquisition is looking better every week. He's even finding serviceable RBs to do some patch work. With one of the easier remaining 2 games (Andrew, Gabs), he's primed for a late-season run, maybe even for the championship, at this rate.
6. Spider Pig (6-5) [4]
Not even the great Peyton could save Luke's team. For the second week in a row, his team scores the fewest points in the league. The good news is, the last time his team did this poorly this season, he bounced back with an impressive 3-game winning streak. He's hoping history will repeat itself. He's got the pieces to make it work. It just has to work. Soon. I think the only thing that will keep him from the playoffs is the last week, when he plays this next team...
7. DeMarco Da Murrier (4-7) [6]
It was a week of terrible luck for Justina. DeMarco is on bye, she's playing David Li, and she loses by 0.30 points. I don't think all hope is lost. I think her team is still good enough to make it into the playoffs. I think.
8. Terrific Tortoises (6-5) [9]
David squeaks out another win to put him in good position for the playoffs. But the win wasn't impressive, so I won't bump his team above Justina's. Since he's playing Andrew's team to finish the season, I think he'll waltz into the playoffs with a 7-6 record. By then, Gio should hopefully be back, and he could potentially pull out a surprise victory or two.
9. Odoyle rules! (5-6) [10]
My team just has to play me like this. Otherwise it wouldn't be fun, right? I've conceded to the fact that if I make the playoffs, I'll get eliminated in the first round. But I just want to be in the top 8 so badly. Fingers crossed.
10. The Pain Train (4-7) [8]
So much potential. Julius going down was a dagger that might have ended Gabs's season. He's up against Aaron and Eric's teams to finish the season, and both teams still have something to prove. It'll be a tough 2 weeks for Gabs.
11. Chou Chainz (4-7) [12]
Even if he can beat Gabs next week and bribes Jeff into fixing that last game, Aaron's chances of making the playoffs are way too slim. He hasn't accumulated enough Points For to beat all the other contenders. It was fun using your team as my fantasy punching bag this year, Aaron.
12. jaMAULing time (2-9) [11]
Oh, Jamaal. Too late, too late.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Monday Lulz
- Shaun Suisham scoring 16 points more than Le'Veon Bell? Let's see... who looks like they would score more fantasy points?
Yeah, I thought so. LEGGO #OdoyleVictory!!!! #Odoyle'sRoadToThePlayoffs #PlayoffsOrBust
- At least Peyton Manning scored more points for Luke than Matt Ryan would have... by 0.34 points! #LULZ And to think how much worse Luke's team would have done without the trade. Ok, maybe only 8 points worse, but still. That's like 47 points pending his kicker's points.
- Did David Li really beat Justina by 0.30 points??? Does Justina even know this happened??? Wait, did Green Bay Defense really score 30 points for Justina??????? What is even going on.
- Eric wisely picked up a kicker for MNF before David Lin could troll. Again. It could be for the win. Or... Tennessee could conceivably not score any points. Or... even worse, only one TD, and Succop gets 1 point, and David still wins... by 0.04 points. That would be #TuesdayLulz for sure. Someone should call Eric after MNF to make sure he doesn't hurt himself if that happens.
- And it looks like Eric beat Andrew out for an MNF kicker. That, or Andrew just doesn't care anymore.
Yeah, he probably doesn't care anymore.
- I'm not sure what Gabs is hoping for this MNF. Martavis Bryant doing well requires Roethlisberger to do well. Granted, Bryant will get more points for receiving yards vs. Big Ben's passing yards, but I'm almost thinking I'd hope for Pittsburgh to implode and do terribly as a team if I were Gabs. Personally, I'm hoping Big Ben throws to everyone BUT Martavis. One less team for me to worry about. #Odoyle'sRoadToThePlayoffs #PlayoffsOrBust
- Jeff has a 12% chance of beating Abraham?? I will never get Yahoo! predictions. Ever.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Predictions: Week 11
Week 10 Predictions Record: (5-1)
Overall Predictions Record: (33-27)
I got one of the two upsets right! So this is what it feels like to win at something...
*~*Game Of The Week*~*
In what could very well be a preview of the championship game, this week's GOTW pits two heavyweights against each other in a regular season battle for first place in the league.
Seenie J v. Charlotte Hornets
IMO, this game boils down to: can Andrew Luck + Jeff's RBs oust Abraham's WRs? I think Abraham will pull out this win in this one, even with some favorable matchups for Jeff (Luck v. NE as a shootout, Forte v. Minnesota). It should be a fun one to follow, though.
Winner: Charlotte Hornets
Remaining Games
Odoyle rules! v. Spider Pig
I've all but given up. That should tell you enough, right?
Winner: Spider Pig
DeMarco Da Murrier v. Terrific Tortoises
I am under the impression that Justina has all but given up as well. I mean, if I were them, I would be down for fixing this game as well. Might as well have one of the two of them in the playoffs vs. the possibility of none of them in the playoffs, right?
Winner: Terrific Tortoises
Unicorn Burps v. #myteamSUCKS
It worked last week, so I'm calling it now - Eric's had a pretty beastly 4 of the last 5 weeks, and has even out-performed David Lin's team 4 of the last 5 weeks. Eric's team seems to be on a roll, so #UpsetCity, here Eric comes! ...even though he's starting Bryce Brown lulz. At least it's not Boobie Dixon doublelulz. Who names their kid Boobie?
Winner: #myteamSUCKS
jaMAULing time v. Chou Chainz
So much for Aaron trying to make a late-season run with Peyton and Co. That veto sucks, doesn't it? Regardless, he might still get a little run going back up this week, since it looks like Andrew has left the building.
Winner: Chou Chainz
The Pain Train v. I'm Coming Home.
Gabs is coming off a high week 10 performance, but I don't think his momentum will be enough to overcome Duke's strong squad. Still putting that warning out there - watch out for Duke's team once Josh Gordon takes the field.
Winner: I'm Coming Home
Overall Predictions Record: (33-27)
I got one of the two upsets right! So this is what it feels like to win at something...
*~*Game Of The Week*~*
In what could very well be a preview of the championship game, this week's GOTW pits two heavyweights against each other in a regular season battle for first place in the league.
Seenie J v. Charlotte Hornets
IMO, this game boils down to: can Andrew Luck + Jeff's RBs oust Abraham's WRs? I think Abraham will pull out this win in this one, even with some favorable matchups for Jeff (Luck v. NE as a shootout, Forte v. Minnesota). It should be a fun one to follow, though.
Winner: Charlotte Hornets
Remaining Games
Odoyle rules! v. Spider Pig
I've all but given up. That should tell you enough, right?
Winner: Spider Pig
DeMarco Da Murrier v. Terrific Tortoises
I am under the impression that Justina has all but given up as well. I mean, if I were them, I would be down for fixing this game as well. Might as well have one of the two of them in the playoffs vs. the possibility of none of them in the playoffs, right?
Winner: Terrific Tortoises
Unicorn Burps v. #myteamSUCKS
It worked last week, so I'm calling it now - Eric's had a pretty beastly 4 of the last 5 weeks, and has even out-performed David Lin's team 4 of the last 5 weeks. Eric's team seems to be on a roll, so #UpsetCity, here Eric comes! ...even though he's starting Bryce Brown lulz. At least it's not Boobie Dixon doublelulz. Who names their kid Boobie?
Winner: #myteamSUCKS
jaMAULing time v. Chou Chainz
So much for Aaron trying to make a late-season run with Peyton and Co. That veto sucks, doesn't it? Regardless, he might still get a little run going back up this week, since it looks like Andrew has left the building.
Winner: Chou Chainz
The Pain Train v. I'm Coming Home.
Gabs is coming off a high week 10 performance, but I don't think his momentum will be enough to overcome Duke's strong squad. Still putting that warning out there - watch out for Duke's team once Josh Gordon takes the field.
Winner: I'm Coming Home
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Power Rankings: Week 11
I don't even know how legit my playoff predictor formula is anymore, but here's what it crunched out:
1. Seenie J (7-3) [2]
New strategy for the rest of the season - pick the defense of whoever is playing the Panthers. WHAT THE CRAP.
2. Charlotte Hornets (7-3) [1]
Rough week for Abraham's team, but it's still strong. No need to worries.
3. Unicorn Burps (7-3) [4]
He's imagining how much happier he would have been if he had kept Beast Mode instead of trading him away to me.
4. Spider Pig (6-4) [3]
Seeing Luke's team tank makes me feel a little better. But he had a bunch of players on bye, so I can't justify bumping his team down too much. Even without Palmer, Ryan should be serviceable enough to get Luke the points he needs. Or so he hopes.
5. I'm Coming Home. (7-3) [5]
I'm telling you.. Duke's ramping it up for the playoffs - all his WRs are playing better, Josh Gordon is about to come back. Dark horse.
6. DeMarco Da Murrier (4-6) [6]
Let's not overlook the fact that Justina's team still scored 104.60 points. Sure, the win is more important, but with her relatively easy remaining schedule (David Li, me, Luke), I think her playoff chances are still pretty good. But then again, these last two games were supposed to be against easy opponents, too (Aaron, Eric)...
7. #myteamSUCKS (4-6) [8]
I don't really want to talk about Eric's team. His recent (relative) hot streak gives me the Rodgers-Sanders blues.
8. The Pain Train (4-6) [11]
Gabs is rising. I definitely wish I had bid more for Martavis Bryant.
9. Terrific Tortoises (5-5) [9]
Not a quality win = no forward progress in the rankings. David can't wait until Gio returns.
10. Odoyle rules! (4-6) [7]
I'm like the Lakers and Beast Mode is my Kobe.
11. jaMAULing time (2-8) [10]
It's ok - typical new franchise season. At least he benched his bye week players.
12. Chou Chainz (3-7) [12]
He scores more points than my team without even starting 2 players. And Andy Dalton scoring -1.76 points. But the fact that he's no longer trying leaves him down here. Right???
Sure, the numbers may not make sense or add up, but that's probably because I'm assuming a team needs 7 wins to make playoffs. This year, I think we'll have 2, maybe 3, teams with 6 wins (or less!) make it. What I get from the chart above is that the playoff teams will likely be: Jeff, Abraham, David Lin, Duke, Luke, David Li, Justina, and Eric. David Li is largely in there because of his 5 wins (sorry, everyone - that was my bad), but due to the recent decline of his fantasy team, I wouldn't be surprised if Gabs stole his spot in the playoffs. These last 3 weeks will be revealing.
1. Seenie J (7-3) [2]
New strategy for the rest of the season - pick the defense of whoever is playing the Panthers. WHAT THE CRAP.
2. Charlotte Hornets (7-3) [1]
Rough week for Abraham's team, but it's still strong. No need to worries.
3. Unicorn Burps (7-3) [4]
He's imagining how much happier he would have been if he had kept Beast Mode instead of trading him away to me.
4. Spider Pig (6-4) [3]
Seeing Luke's team tank makes me feel a little better. But he had a bunch of players on bye, so I can't justify bumping his team down too much. Even without Palmer, Ryan should be serviceable enough to get Luke the points he needs. Or so he hopes.
5. I'm Coming Home. (7-3) [5]
I'm telling you.. Duke's ramping it up for the playoffs - all his WRs are playing better, Josh Gordon is about to come back. Dark horse.
6. DeMarco Da Murrier (4-6) [6]
Let's not overlook the fact that Justina's team still scored 104.60 points. Sure, the win is more important, but with her relatively easy remaining schedule (David Li, me, Luke), I think her playoff chances are still pretty good. But then again, these last two games were supposed to be against easy opponents, too (Aaron, Eric)...
7. #myteamSUCKS (4-6) [8]
I don't really want to talk about Eric's team. His recent (relative) hot streak gives me the Rodgers-Sanders blues.
8. The Pain Train (4-6) [11]
Gabs is rising. I definitely wish I had bid more for Martavis Bryant.
9. Terrific Tortoises (5-5) [9]
Not a quality win = no forward progress in the rankings. David can't wait until Gio returns.
10. Odoyle rules! (4-6) [7]
I'm like the Lakers and Beast Mode is my Kobe.
11. jaMAULing time (2-8) [10]
It's ok - typical new franchise season. At least he benched his bye week players.
12. Chou Chainz (3-7) [12]
He scores more points than my team without even starting 2 players. And Andy Dalton scoring -1.76 points. But the fact that he's no longer trying leaves him down here. Right???
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