Monday Lulz

You want Monday Lulz?  This is what you get from me and my boy Marshawn:

Monday Lulz

• Shaun Suisham scoring 16 points more than Le'Veon Bell?  Let's see... who looks like they would score more fantasy points?
  
  
  Yeah, I thought so.  LEGGO #OdoyleVictory!!!!  #Odoyle'sRoadToThePlayoffs  #PlayoffsOrBust

• At least Peyton Manning scored more points for Luke than Matt Ryan would have... by 0.34 points!  #LULZ  And to think how much worse Luke's team would have done without the trade.  Ok, maybe only 8 points worse, but still.  That's like 47 points pending his kicker's points.
  

• Did David Li really beat Justina by 0.30 points???  Does Justina even know this happened???  Wait, did Green Bay Defense really score 30 points for Justina???????  What is even going on.
  

• Eric wisely picked up a kicker for MNF before David Lin could troll.  Again.  It could be for the win.  Or... Tennessee could conceivably not score any points.  Or... even worse, only one TD, and Succop gets 1 point, and David still wins... by 0.04 points.  That would be #TuesdayLulz for sure.  Someone should call Eric after MNF to make sure he doesn't hurt himself if that happens.
  

• And it looks like Eric beat Andrew out for an MNF kicker.  That, or Andrew just doesn't care anymore.
  
  Yeah, he probably doesn't care anymore.

• I'm not sure what Gabs is hoping for this MNF.  Martavis Bryant doing well requires Roethlisberger to do well.  Granted, Bryant will get more points for receiving yards vs. Big Ben's passing yards, but I'm almost thinking I'd hope for Pittsburgh to implode and do terribly as a team if I were Gabs.  Personally, I'm hoping Big Ben throws to everyone BUT Martavis.  One less team for me to worry about.  #Odoyle'sRoadToThePlayoffs  #PlayoffsOrBust
  

• Jeff has a 12% chance of beating Abraham??  I will never get Yahoo! predictions.  Ever.
  

Monday Lulz

• Bishop Sankey gets 7.70 points and Vernon Davis gets 0.80 points.  Thank you guys for saving me from myself, vetoers.  You guys should have vetoed my other trade with Eric (see below).

• Correction to Eric's e-mail: My team would have scored 29.48 points without Marshawn Lynch.  The Tortoise-Odoyle matchup has turned into the fight to see who can win the ugliest.  I can't believe I'll have to choose between my fantasy team and the Panthers.

• How in the world does Luke have 1% chance of winning??  If Jeff can't get 3 points out of Sanchez, Maclin, and Philly D... I will never understand Yahoo! predictions.

• Wow, sorry Justina.  Two bad losses in a row... I knew I shouldn't have ever traded away Aaron Rodgers (6 TDs in one half???).  And Emmanuel Sanders.  And predict you to win.

• And the other surprise upset - Gabs over Abraham?  Abraham even got 21.18 points out of Vick, too!  I'm telling you all, don't be surprised if Gabs makes a late season run into the playoffs.  He's not letting his championship title up so easily.
  
  
  
  

Monday Lulz

Oh, so this is what it feels like to be winning?  #MondayLulz

• Can Eli + Reuben Randle get 74 combined points in MNF?  For my own sanity, let's hope not.
  
  
   Heavens, I hope not.

• What is this Chou Chainz nonsense?  I mean srsly, does this guy even know who half the players on his team are?  Since I need someone to blame, this week I blame it on Gio, whose injury allowed Jeremy Hill to beast it.  See, I'm not even sure Aaron knows who Jeremy Hill is.  Quick test, Aaron.  Which one of these people is Jeremy Hill?
  
  See?????  He doesn't even know!!!  Regardless, it's all David Li's fault.

• Hey Duke, you might have a chance to win if you started a kicker who will actually score some points. aka a kicker who will be playing tonight that is still on the waivers aka Josh Brown.   I thought I stopped caring, but Duke is showing me up.  That won't stop David Lin from being desperate enough to pick up Josh Brown JUST so Duke won't get him, though..
  
  

• Andrew v. Abraham just got that much more interesting - who'da thunk?  The sad thing is, Philip Rivers got -2.18 points... and Abraham is still favored to win!
  
  

• For Gabs's sake, I'm hoping Andrew Luck tanks in MNF.  Like, Philip Rivers tanks.  But I'm sure Gabs is just chillin' like whatevs.  No hair don't care.
  
  

• Wow, that's harsh, Yahoo! - not even giving Trent Richardson a dying chance of scoring 42 points to beat the Spider Pigs.  I'da thought that would at least deserve a 1% from Yahoo! predictions.
  
  

Monday Lulz

I'm going to lose to Aaron.



I give up.

Monday Lulz

I wasn't going to do it, because I was all blogged out from the playoff analysis, but someone convinced me otherwise, so here it is: rapid speed Monday Lulz before MNF.

• This is what I get for dissing Duke's team.  Go Le'Veon!  15% chance of winning, according to Yahoo!  That's better than...
• In what fantasy football universe does Eric have a 2% chance of winning his game vs. Luke??  Yahoo! why are you so stupid????  So... Eric wins if Arian Foster gets -6 points????  Hm... that would for sure be a Tuesday Lulz if it happened.  Luke - have you considered benching Foster to guarantee the win?  Yahoo! says there's a chance you might lose it.  #watchoutEriciscomingforyou
• Eric started Pierre Thomas.  #LULZ
• Aaron is easily becoming the Taco of our league.  We can from this point on call a team's week playing Aaron the "Aaron Bye."  Automatic win, baby.
• Can Antonio Brown get 24 points FTW Abraham and keep his 1st place spot in the league??  Brown already has done it once this year.  Justina says "Wuh oh."  
• And what the heck Golden Tate?  He's a punk.  He deserved that black eye from Percy, I'm pretty sure.
• Bahahaha Houston D is going to give David Lin an aneurysm.  So in my other league, I need them to score less than 10 points.  David needs them to score less than 6.  I hope they score 7. BAHAHAHAH.
• Looks like Jamaal's BACK!!  Apu approves.

Bam, just in time.

Monday Lulz

Sometimes (most of the time) this is how I feel about Fantasy Football.  And I fell like David Lin is that little girl cheerleader on the right who is laughing and jumping for joy at the major fail.  And then he goes out and e-mails his feelings for me to the whole league.  I don't know why there's so much hatred.

• Wow Jeff cashed in big this week from his trade.  Instead of "wasted" Peyton Manning points on the bench, he converted them to 13.6+20.7=34.3 points between Maclin and Quick.  I guess I was wrong in thinking he got taken advantage of.  Can he rely on them and Justin Forsett week in and week out, though?  Time will tell.


• Eddie Lacy does really well for Gabs, but his team still isn't able to pull it together.  Unless Hauschka can score 15 points on MNF.  It's definitely doable - don't give up just yet, Gabs!


• GHOTEM with 44.70 points.  #MONDAYLULZ


• Ok, in all fairness, Andrew still has Russell Wilson and Seattle D for MNF, so he could get upwards of... 75 points by Tuesday Morning.  #MONDAYLULZ


• And watch David Lin's team fall because of the Timmy Curse.  Not saying it's probable, but it's possible.  Marshawn gets hurt on the first play, Russell throws 4 TDs, runs in 2 TDs, and Seattle D has a shutout and pick-6.  That would be a REAL #MONDAYLULZ ... oh wait, is this why you hate me, David? So much sense make.


• Still amazing that Abraham is getting it done with no production from his RBs.  Combined 2.9+1.8=4.7 points from both his RBs, and he's likely to win this week unless Percy Harvin scores 30 points for David Li.


• Megatron... what a disappointment.  Yet Duke still pulls out a win this week.  Poor Eric, with some struggling RBs, he manages to score only 76 points.  The funny thing is, if he hadn't made the trade with me, his team would have been SO much worse.  Like, almost Aaron's team status.  No Rodgers, no Emmanuel Sanders, and WITH an underperforming Shady.  That Shady.... doing me wrong.


• And when you thought Aaron's team couldn't get any worse... Jimmy Graham - out.  Zac Stacy - out.  Ouch.


• I'm happy to see Torrey Smith went for $7.  I honestly thought he'd go for nothing.  And David Lin was going to spend $5 on him, too!  Anyways, good luck with him, Luke.  I'm tempted to throw Larry Fitznubulus out there and see how much he'd go for.  Just for kicks.

Monday Lulz

Whoops, I kind of forgot, because my team already won.  Sorry, Gabs - Brees and Colston couldn't pull anything off last night.

But in other news.... high fives all around, Jeff gets reunited with Tom Brady!!!

Yeah!!!

#togetherforever #bfffffl

That is, pending any vetoes, of course.  Jeff - in theory, shouldn't you be vetoing your own trade?  Because it's technically making David Lin's team better.  Or does your logic of "why should I want teams below me to get better?" not apply to teams that are already better than yours?  Or does the lure of finally having Tom Brady on your team trump all things logical?  Mysteries...

The rest of Monday Lulz:

• That Shady up to no good.  What the crap, Chip Kelly?  What the crap, Shady?  Don't let me down now.


• Jamaal Charles 60 points FTW for Andrew!  I believe!!


• I had a dream last night that DeMarco Murray scored 99 points for Justina, but she left him on the bench.  99 points!  Weird, huh?


• Unless Stephen Gostkowski manages to get -7 points tonight, THE TIMMY CURSE HAS BEEN DEBUNKED.  David, you also realize the better you make your team, the more I'm going to predict them to win, and the scardier you're going to be about that curse, right?  Conclusion - make your team suck so I don't predict you to win!  Just try it!  :D


• Abraham with the killer game, absolutely ruining Eric's chance of a win, unless Knile manages to get 17 points tonight, which is possible, but not likely.  Ouch ouch ouch.  Those WRs on Abraham's team - good for something!


• Really, the only game that will be decided by tonight is Duke v. Aaron.  I'm going with Duke pulling out the W because I need Ridley to do well for my other league.

Monday Lulz

• It looks like that garbage-time TB Defense pick-six DID win me this week's game!  I'll take it.  And how about that Le'Veon Bell?  Even though his success came at the price of my Panthers.  Ugh.  Bittersweet.  Andrew says he is just bitter bitter.




• At least Andrew can be optimistic about Pierre Garcon's chemistry with Cousins.  Too bad his RBs only scored... 1.10 points (Frank Gore and Danny Woodhead).  And sadly enough, that's more than all his other RBs on the bench this week (0 points, thanks to Jamaal Charles and DeAngelo Williams).


• David Lin is convinced that there's this thing called the "Timmy Curse."
  He says every time I predict him to win or lose, he does the opposite.  He wants Luke to run some sort of analysis thing on it.  I can just tell you what I think - It didn't happen in Week 1, so I conclude that his hypothesis is flawed.  Not sure what went down these past two weeks, though - Sorry, Justina.


• David Li, want to give me Kelvin Benjamin, since you're just letting him waste away on the bench????????  That boy is a beast.  I definitely should have kept out-bidding Justina for him.


• I still can't get over the fact that Josh McCown got 0.32 points for Eric.  Not that starting Flacco would have guaranteed the win for him, but it would have at least given Eric a little more hope going into MNF.  Eric was pretty close to not even getting to play Knile Davis, but much to his relief, Knile played and got him a good number of points.  Eric's hoping it's not just for one week, though.  Jamaal may be back next week?


• Can Alshon Jeffery score 5 points for Abraham?  Can Eric Decker score 5 points for Luke?  Game-changers happening tonight!  I guess we'll find out.

Monday Lulz

MNF get over with so I can beat David.  HURRY.

• How does Yahoo even come up with these chances of victory?  David Lin's team jumped from 4% chance of winning to 13%, all off of Brandon Marshall's diarrhea-ing of fantasy points all over my precious team.  He wasn't even supposed to play this game, how does he go from that to catching 3 touchdowns??  I seriously felt like he literally took a dump on my team.
• Oh, and by the way, don't think I didn't notice that if he hadn't dropped Niles Paul, and started him instead, David would have likely been victorious against me.  Now, Jeff will just pick him up for $20.
• Luke acts swiftly after AP gets in trouble, and it pays off quite nicely.  Matt Asiata - who knew?  It might have just saved his season from partially tanking.
• Yahoo has Luke at a 83% chance of winning - once again, how does Yahoo come up with this??  I'm hoping Luke's kicker won't have any points, because that means Maclin would have scored no touchdowns, and therefore a victory for the Odoyles.  #teamjustina
• Oh, and how about that Antonio Gates against Seattle's Defense?  Too bad those points were wasted on Luke's bench.  But seriously, is that guy back for real?
• What did I say about Jamaal Charles and Andrew's team?  1.20 points... that's harsh.  That $74 is not looking so well-spent anymore.  I mean, 1.20 points, wow.
• "GIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" yells David Li.
• Gabs wasn't quick enough to swap out Rainey for Muscle Hamster... not like it would have guaranteed the win, but 53.68 total points for the week is a hard pill to swallow.
• ...as Eric lets out a big sigh of relief.  I mean, he started Shonn Greene... and it ended up not even being a bad decision, because he scored more than the other RBs on the bench!  Too much lulz.
• For real, though, that Jordy Nelson is making my QB look good.  I like it.
• I guess Chou Chainz has risen.  I'm so confused, and a little bit scared.
• Abraham, I see you last-minute picking up Delanie Walker.  Too bad his QB couldn't play better for your team, though.  A win is a win.
• It looks like Duke's doing his flip flop thing again.  Just trying to make it impossible for me to rank his team.

Monday Lulz

You know that case of the Mondays, when your day feels like a series of lulls because you are basically just waiting for MNF to get over with so you can know what the final result of your fantasy game is?  Well, fear no more, I will try to share my thoughts from Thursday and Sunday in bullet-point fashion, and hopefully convert some of those lulls into lulz (creative, yes?) for my very small internet-fantasy-football-blogosphere-niche-audience.  #liveauthentic  #livefolk  Did I use those correctly?  

Anyways, for the very first time, I present to you - Monday Lulz!  Happy Monday!

And yay Panthers!  Even without my boy Cam!

• Here's to hoping Stafford collapses in the middle of the game, and Joique doesn't even get to play.  I still have a 5% chance of winning.
  

• Wow, Jamaal Charles + Frank Gore was a huge flop for Andrew this week.  That #2 spot in the power rankings may be slipping from his fingers as we speak.

• Andrew is crossing his fingers that Eli plays as poorly as he was paid for in the draft.  I think if Eli can avoid negative points, Eric will be good.  But that might be asking for too much from him.

• David Lin gave David Li a pounding this week.  And David Li's team didn't even do that poorly!  Dat #BeastMode doe.  Oh yeah, and AnJavrus Green.

• Let's talk about David Li's bench for a second.  Why is it that Chris Johnson only does well for David Li when he's on the bench???  And freaking Knowshon Moreno is at it again.  Where did Miami even come from?  Poor David.  Having Kelvin Benjamin do so well will also make it tough for David to know who to start next week.  If you need some help, David, I can take a WR or two off of your hands to make that decision easier.  :D

• Eddie Lacy ending up with a concussion gives Gabs's team a concerning blow, considering his next RB in line is... Ronnie Hillman.  Gabs might need a better back up plan.  At least he came out with the win this week.  So he's happy like:
  
  
  #yoloswaglife

• I can't still get over the fact that Aaron paid $54 for Jimmy Graham.

• Staying on the topic of the draft - I still think the $2 Duke spent on Ben Roethlisberger is still the best $2 spent by anyone in the entire draft.

• That accidental Cordarelle pickup by Jeff's autodraft has already paid dividends.  Same with Andrew Luck, who was also accidentally autodrafted.  What's with Jeff and autodrafting?  If I remember correctly, Jeff autodrafted his entire team last year.  I'm wondering what kind of deal Jeff has struck with the autodraft demons.  Maybe he should just autodraft from now on so he can spend more time doing this:
  
  I may have just died a little inside.

• Luke got lucky with Houston's Defense.  I'm not buying what his team is trying to sell, though.  And whatever happened to Adrian Peterson scoring a TD on his first carry of the season.

• Abraham got some solid numbers from his WRs.  Pending Rivers's performance on Monday, though, he might need some help at all other positions.  Actually, not pending Rivers's performance on Monday, he will need some help at all other positions.
  
  Sorry, bud.

• So I have no reference point as to how much money players off the waiver wire are actually worth.  $100 seems like a lot, but that's over 16 or so weeks, right?  My gut tells me Luke and Eric are going to go big or go home, and Justina will be the only one with money left to spend by Week 13.  But it may not even matter by then.