Final Power Rankings and Predictions

Is this what you guys think of me?



Ok, you might be right.  I caved in to peer pressure.  The masses asked for it, so they got it.  I spent a good amount of time on this entry, and I actually do believe it will be the last of the season, in spite of how much more you all may beg.  So since there will be no predictions, I will give you my prediction stats for the year here:

Week 12 Predictions Record: (3-3)
Overall Predictions Record: (44-34)

And my predictions for the playoffs?

Week 14:
Seenie J over DeMarco Da Murrier
Unicorn Burps over Spider Pig
Charlotte Hornets over Terrific Tortoises
#myteamSUCKS over I'm Coming Home.

Week 15:
Seenie J over Unicorn Burps
#myteamSUCKS over Charlotte Hornets

Championship:
#myteamSUCKS over Seenie J

Yes, I really do think Eric can, and will, win it all.  If anyone else wants to, they can enter into a playoff bracket pool with me.  I'll take entries up until the Thursday night game this week.  I'm willing to pay no more than $5, though.  Hey, still easy money playaz.


Final Power Rankings


1. Seenie J (9-4) [2]

Jeff's team has won the regular season, with much help from solid draft picks Andrew Luck ($15!) and Matt Forte.  His pickup of Jeremy Maclin was pretty crucial, seeing as how the rest of his WRs were terrible (he's still starting Michael Crabtree??).  I will not hesitate to point out, though, that he has the second-lowest "Points Against" of the season, behind only Duke (more on him later).  According to my own calculations, his Strength of Schedule was 12th in the league (which means he had the easiest schedule).  After all, he did go up against Aaron and Duke twice.  However, to be fair, his team finished with a league-best 1368.98 in "Points For."  So one could argue that it wasn't his fault that the teams he was up against didn't score much - he still got the job done by scoring more than any other team over the course of the season.  I will refer you to this amazing article written by one of our brilliant managers if you'd like further clarification on that topic.  But to think, Jeff pulled this all off somehow without this guy:

Never gets old.


2. Charlotte Hornets (8-5) [1]

Abraham's team goes against any conventional fantasy football wisdom (or lack of) I may have gleaned over the past 12 years.  Building around the backbone of WR superstars (Antonio Brown, Randall Cobb, Mike Evans, Alshon Jeffery) - the strongest corps in our league, if I may argue - he's been able to put together a strong sophomore season without consistent performance in any of the other relevant positional categories (Kickers don't count).  His highest-scoring RB (Branden Oliver) is 32nd in scoring in the league!  The most logical conclusion I can come to is he's been managing the crap out of his team, and it's paid off.  Or sorcery of some sort.


3. Unicorn Burps (8-5) [3]

David was simply meant to lose to my team.  Twice.  That shouldn't detract from the solid season he built, though.  He managed to work the waiver and trade lines without any FAAB money for the majority of the season, and I think it worked out OK for him.  He's probably still wishing he hadn't spent all $100 on 5 players that he no longer has on his team (Kirk Cousins $30, Brian Quick $25 [trade bait], Larry Donnell $20 [trade bait], Justin Hunter $10, and Andre Holmes $15 - no I'm not letting you live down Kirk Cousins for $30).  But going in to the playoffs, he's got a chance of making a deep run - maybe not due to the strength of his team, but due to the weaknesses of all the other teams (Similarities to the NBA's Eastern Conference, anyone?).  He did end up having the 2nd easiest Strength of Schedule (playing me and David Li twice), but I think he just ended up with some unfavorable matchups, which could account for at least 3 of his losses.


4. I'm Coming Home. (9-4) [4]

Here's something that has me scratching my head.  Duke managed to finish the regular season in 2nd place overall, even though his team only scored 7 more points over the course of the regular season than mine did (I finished 9th).  Obviously, his success was largely due to his league-low "Points Against" BUT I have to point out that according to my calculations, he had the hardest Strength of Schedule in our whole league (the two teams he played twice were Jeff and Abraham).  All sorts of head scratching still going on.


5. Spider Pig (7-6) [5]

Of all the teams that made the playoffs, with the exception of David Li's miracle of a team (more on this later), Luke has had the worst final 6 weeks of the season.  He's lost 4 of his last 6 games (tied with Justina, and only one more win than Andrew), ranked 3rd-worst in "Points For" in that time span (behind only Andrew and David Li), and has resorted to starting Benny Cunningham at RB2 (2nd only to David Li starting Johnny Manziel - again, more on that later).  And the thing is, trading for Peyton Manning and LeSean McCoy actually HELPED his team.  Yet his team still sits at 5th in the league and in my rankings.  Luke would like to thank his 5-2 record to start the season for that.


6. #myteamSUCKS (6-7) [6]

Talk about a late-season run.  Eric is only one of three teams to win 4 or more of the last 6 games (the other two teams: Duke and Jeff).  And not only did he win, but he scored 2nd highest or more during each winning week, resulting in the most "Points For" in the last 6 weeks... and did anyone notice that he's 2nd in "Points For" for the whole season???  I think it's safe to say he'll be carrying that momentum into the playoffs.  And similar to another top-4 team (Abraham), Eric has done all these with some patchwork RBs.  It's amazing what WRs can do for your fantasy football team these days...


7. DeMarco Da Murrier (6-7) [7]

A struggling Justina's team decided to pull out the big guns in the final week and romp her way into the playoffs.  Well played.  Without that last win, you would have joined Andrew in the lonely 5-losses-in-the-last-6-games hearts club band.  Instead, you're just with Luke in the not-so-lonely 4-losses-in-the-last-6-games duo.  And more importantly, with 7 other teams in the playoffs.  Unfortunately, I have no other good stats for you except congrats on drafting the most dominant RB in fantasy football this season.  You definitely could have done worse (AKA Luke and Adrian Peterson for $70 ROFLMAO).


8. Odoyle rules! (6-7) [9]

Because I write this blog, I'm going to tell myself I belonged in the playoffs.  My team had a terrible 4-game losing streak in the middle of the season that ended up shooting myself in both feet and arms, and desperation called for some questionable decision-making in my trading and dropping of players.  I ended the season with some ups and downs, and that's just how the game is played, folks.


9. The Pain Train (5-8) [8]

Does anyone remember who won the championship last season?  I'm curious to know who Gabs would have kept and if that would have changed the course of this season.  LeSean McCoy?  Eddie Lacy?  Dez Bryant?  Julius Thomas?  Philip Rivers?  After seeing those names, I'm going to go with... No, it would not have changed the course of his season.  Although Gabs's woes came mostly in the first 5 weeks, he didn't have enough left in the tank to overcome those woes and make our (AKA The NBA Eastern Conference) playoffs.


10. Terrific Tortoises (7-6) [12]

He did it.  He made the playoffs.  With a league-low 1118.30 "Points For" (that's an average of 86.02 points per game!  Even the Philadelphia 76ers are averaging more points per game than that!... 91.5, in case you were wondering), he finished the season among the top 8.  From Week 7 onward, his team scored 5th lowest or worse in each of the games (2 games @ 5th lowest, 2 games @ 3rd lowest, 1 game @ 2nd lowest, and 2 games @ absolute lowest).  And yet they finished that 7-week stretch with a 4-3 record (which included a 0.30-point margin of victory over his Bae), and a ticket to the big dance.  I'm not sure I can spin it any other way - it's pretty much a Cinderella story of Cinderella stories.  Here's to hoping that story continues... Oh what?? Starting Johnny Manziel??  Nevermind.


11. Chou Chainz (4-9) [10]

Aaron had some kick in his team during the last half of the season, going 3-3 in the last 6 games.  But his abominable 1-6 record in the first 7 games held him down too much.  In all fairness, his team had the 2nd hardest Strength of Schedule (playing Gabs and Jeff twice), but it honestly all broke down the minute Yahoo! autodrafted for him.  He spent a combined $65 on Zac Stacy and C.J. Spiller.  #2014Lulz


12. OUCHsoclose (3-10) [11]

Jamaal going down was a dagger that Andrew just couldn't fully recover from.  It's ok, doing poorly happens to almost all first-year managers in this league, for some reason.  Just look at Abraham and Duke - they were pretty much in your position last year, and look where they are now.  I will say, though, the added smack talkery and banter coming from Andrew was a much-welcomed addition to our league.

Power Rankings: Week 13

You guys don't need my playoff predictor anymore.  There are essentially 5 teams fighting for the last 3 spots, and I have a feeling it will literally go down to the wire.

Here are your scenarios for each team, if I did my calculating correctly:

Terrific Tortoises
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win.
2. A loss, and a loss from BOTH DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules! (let's face it, David's team probably won't score 70 more points than mine does.  As much garbage as my team is.).
Is out of the playoffs with:
1. A loss, and a win from EITHER DeMarco Da Murrier or Odoyle rules!

#myteamSUCKS
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win (Justina's team might score 50 more points than Eric's team, but mine for sure won't score 120 more points.).
2. A loss, and a loss from BOTH DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules!, also having to score more than 50 points than DeMarco Da Murrier.
Is out of the playoffs with:
1. A loss, and a win from EITHER DeMarco Da Murrier or Odoyle rules!

DeMarco Da Murrier
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win.
2. A loss, and a loss from Odoyle rules! AND either: (a) a loss from #myteamSUCKS, scoring more than 50 points less than DeMarco Da Murrier or (b) a loss from The Pain Train, scoring less than 20 points more than DeMarco Da Murrier.
Is out of the playoffs with:
1. A loss, and a win from Odoyle rules!

The Pain Train
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win, and The Pain Train scoring 42 more points than Odoyle rules! IF DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules! both win.
2. A loss, and a loss from BOTH DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules! AND scoring 42 more points than Odoyle rules!
Is out of the playoffs with:
1. A win, and BOTH DeMarco Da Murrier and Odoyle rules! win, with Odoyle rules! scoring 42 more points than The Pain Train.
1. A loss, and a win from EITHER DeMarco Da Murrier or Odoyle rules!

Odoyle rules!
Is in the playoffs with:
1. A win, and a loss from EITHER Terrific Tortoises or DeMarco Da Murrier
Is out of the playoffs with:
2. A win, and a win from BOTH Terrific Tortoises and DeMarco Da Murrier
3. A loss.

As you can see, David Li, Eric, and Justina all control their own destinies.  A simple win will secure them a spot in the playoffs.  Gabs and I, on the other hand, will need some other pieces to fall into place in order to keep our post-season hopes alive.  We shall see how it unfolds.  What do I predict?  The last 3 teams in the playoffs will be Eric, Justina, and me.  David Li will fall to Jamaal and Co. because Andrew is ruthless, and I will magically pull an upset over David Lin.  Bribery might be involved in this one.

1. Charlotte Hornets (8-4) [1]

The line separating Abraham's team and Jeff's team is very thin and fragile, and is being closely vultured by the Unicorns.  Abraham will retain his #1 spot in my rankings simply because he didn't have his superstar player Antonio Brown this week, so his team has a good excuse.


2. Seenie J (8-4) [2]

I look at Jeff's team, and I'm impressed by the record, but am wondering how he pulls off some of his wins.  Justin Forsett with 31 points??  Is he really going to be that good moving forward?  Maybe.  Sure, he has other pieces to go deep in the playoffs (Luck, Maclin, Forte), but he got majorly bailed out this week, in my opinion.


3. Unicorn Burps (8-4) [3]

You're welcome, David.  For OBJ.  If Arian Foster recovers and can pull out a few more decent games, David might just be a favorite to win it all this year.  But since this week is inconsequential to him making the playoffs, he might as well rest his players.  PLZ??


4. I'm Coming Home. (8-4) [4]

That Josh Gordon tho.  Already $5 well-spent.


5. Spider Pig (7-5) [6]

Solid statement win.  Peyton just has to play in warm conditions and Luke's team could be scary.  Once playoffs start, Peyton has favorable conditions for the first two games - so watch out!  I'm not sure Shady can keep this up, though.  See, we shall.


6. #myteamSUCKS (5-7) [5]

In spite of a loss (and an OUCHsoclose one), Eric's team put up respectable numbers.  Not from expected sources (Buffalo Defense with 7 sacks??), but still respectable.  He's got good players (Rodgers, Emmanuel Sanders, Jordy, Martellus) He just needs to beat Gabs's team to extend his season, and a week ago, that would have sounded easy.  After this week, though, Eric could be in for some trubble.


7. DeMarco Da Murrier (5-7) [7]

gg you deserved a win, finally.  All my smack talk back fired, and you were the worthy beneficiary of it.  We cool now right?


8. The Pain Train (5-7) [10]

Wowowow.  Breezy, Lacy, and Co. helping Gabs make a strong push to finish the season.  Didn't I say a few weeks back that Gabs might be the dark horse to capture that 8th spot in the playoffs?  If not, maybe I just said it in my head.  But it's looking promising after this week!


9. Odoyle rules! (5-7) [9]

True story - Sunday morning at 9:55 AM Pacific Time (12:55 PM Eastern), I was like OH CRAP JORDAN REED IS OUT I HAVE TO FIND A TE.  So I pick up Tim Wright.  Good decision.  And then I'm like EHHHH Tannehill v. Denver or Cutler v. TB?  SURELY go with the favorable matchup, right?  RIGHT??  Freaking.... bad decision.  That moment you regret starting Jay Cutler.  Ever.  For life.


10. Chou Chainz (4-8) [11]

It was a valiant effort, but Aaron just caught Gabs on the wrong week.  Aaron's kind-of managing skills helped him stay in it for just a little bit longer.  Not going to lie, though - Yahoo! autodraft in an auction straight SUCKS.  Lesson learned.


11. OUCHsoclose (3-9) [12]

Ok that was kind of very hilarious.  I love all this smack talking.  Andrew, where was your team all season long???


12. Terrific Tortoises (6-6) [8]

I'm going to stop kidding myself that David Li actually can pull together a late-season run.  Sure, his record is decent, but ever since Week 4, he's only scored in the top half of the league ONCE.  He's been the lowest-scoring team THREE times, the second-lowest scoring team ONCE, and the third-lowest scoring team TWICE.  With the lowest score in the "points-for" category, I think it's safe to put the Tortoises at the bottom, in spite of what their record may show.

Power Rankings: Week 12

I had to adjust the playoff predictor a little to account for the fact that Aaron still might actually have a chance to make it.  Here are the new and improved numbers:

These last two weeks are going to be cray.

1. Charlotte Hornets (8-3) [2]

Abraham proved this week that his team deserves to be at the top.  His WRs are just so ridiculous.  Granted, Mike Evans won't do that every week.  But Antonio Brown, Randall Cobb, and Alshon could all blow up at any given week.  Weak RBs has been his story the whole season, and it's gotten him a 8-3 record.  So whatever works, I guess.


2. Seenie J (7-4) [1]

Not a terrible showing this week, but he was just out-powered by Abraham and Mike Evans.  Jeff still has a relatively solid team, so I wouldn't be too worried if I were him.


3. Unicorn Burps (7-4) [3]

David just happened to be in the path of Eric's fantasy bulldozer, unfortunately.  He got what he wanted out of his blockbuster trade with Luke - a solid TE - but Gates has to score more than 3.2 points to pay dividends for David.  And with a big question mark around Arian Foster's health, David's team could be on the brink of a free fall.  At least he's got some good WRs to give him some cushion and AppleJuice Green is looking good again.


4. I'm Coming Home. (8-3) [5]

Josh Gordon could be a game-changer.  But even if he isn't, Duke's team is still winning games, which has put them in a good position to make a deep playoff run.


5. #myteamSUCKS (5-6) [7]

Eric is beasting it.  3 of the last 4 weeks has found his team scoring the 1st or 2nd most points in the league.  Aaron Rodgers + Jordy Nelson is paying off big time, and that Emmanuel Sanders acquisition is looking better every week.  He's even finding serviceable RBs to do some patch work.  With one of the easier remaining 2 games (Andrew, Gabs), he's primed for a late-season run, maybe even for the championship, at this rate.


6. Spider Pig (6-5) [4]

Not even the great Peyton could save Luke's team.  For the second week in a row, his team scores the fewest points in the league.  The good news is, the last time his team did this poorly this season, he bounced back with an impressive 3-game winning streak.  He's hoping history will repeat itself.  He's got the pieces to make it work.  It just has to work.  Soon.  I think the only thing that will keep him from the playoffs is the last week, when he plays this next team...


7. DeMarco Da Murrier (4-7) [6]

It was a week of terrible luck for Justina.  DeMarco is on bye, she's playing David Li, and she loses by 0.30 points.  I don't think all hope is lost.  I think her team is still good enough to make it into the playoffs.  I think.


8. Terrific Tortoises (6-5) [9]

David squeaks out another win to put him in good position for the playoffs.  But the win wasn't impressive, so I won't bump his team above Justina's.  Since he's playing Andrew's team to finish the season, I think he'll waltz into the playoffs with a 7-6 record.  By then, Gio should hopefully be back, and he could potentially pull out a surprise victory or two.


9. Odoyle rules! (5-6) [10]

My team just has to play me like this.  Otherwise it wouldn't be fun, right?  I've conceded to the fact that if I make the playoffs, I'll get eliminated in the first round.  But I just want to be in the top 8 so badly.  Fingers crossed.


10. The Pain Train (4-7) [8]

So much potential.  Julius going down was a dagger that might have ended Gabs's season.  He's up against Aaron and Eric's teams to finish the season, and both teams still have something to prove.  It'll be a tough 2 weeks for Gabs.


11. Chou Chainz (4-7) [12]

Even if he can beat Gabs next week and bribes Jeff into fixing that last game, Aaron's chances of making the playoffs are way too slim.  He hasn't accumulated enough Points For to beat all the other contenders.  It was fun using your team as my fantasy punching bag this year, Aaron.


12. jaMAULing time (2-9) [11]

Oh, Jamaal.  Too late, too late.

Power Rankings: Week 11

I don't even know how legit my playoff predictor formula is anymore, but here's what it crunched out:

Sure, the numbers may not make sense or add up, but that's probably because I'm assuming a team needs 7 wins to make playoffs.  This year, I think we'll have 2, maybe 3, teams with 6 wins (or less!) make it.  What I get from the chart above is that the playoff teams will likely be: Jeff, Abraham, David Lin, Duke, Luke, David Li, Justina, and Eric.  David Li is largely in there because of his 5 wins (sorry, everyone - that was my bad), but due to the recent decline of his fantasy team, I wouldn't be surprised if Gabs stole his spot in the playoffs.  These last 3 weeks will be revealing.

1. Seenie J (7-3) [2]

New strategy for the rest of the season - pick the defense of whoever is playing the Panthers.  WHAT THE CRAP.


2. Charlotte Hornets (7-3) [1]

Rough week for Abraham's team, but it's still strong.  No need to worries.


3. Unicorn Burps (7-3) [4]

He's imagining how much happier he would have been if he had kept Beast Mode instead of trading him away to me.


4. Spider Pig (6-4) [3]

Seeing Luke's team tank makes me feel a little better.  But he had a bunch of players on bye, so I can't justify bumping his team down too much.  Even without Palmer, Ryan should be serviceable enough to get Luke the points he needs.  Or so he hopes.


5. I'm Coming Home. (7-3) [5]

I'm telling you.. Duke's ramping it up for the playoffs - all his WRs are playing better, Josh Gordon is about to come back.  Dark horse.


6. DeMarco Da Murrier (4-6) [6]

Let's not overlook the fact that Justina's team still scored 104.60 points.  Sure, the win is more important, but with her relatively easy remaining schedule (David Li, me, Luke), I think her playoff chances are still pretty good.  But then again, these last two games were supposed to be against easy opponents, too (Aaron, Eric)...


7. #myteamSUCKS (4-6) [8]

I don't really want to talk about Eric's team.  His recent (relative) hot streak gives me the Rodgers-Sanders blues.


8. The Pain Train (4-6) [11]

Gabs is rising.  I definitely wish I had bid more for Martavis Bryant.


9. Terrific Tortoises (5-5) [9]

Not a quality win = no forward progress in the rankings.  David can't wait until Gio returns.


10. Odoyle rules! (4-6) [7]

I'm like the Lakers and Beast Mode is my Kobe.


11. jaMAULing time (2-8) [10]

It's ok - typical new franchise season.  At least he benched his bye week players.


12. Chou Chainz (3-7) [12]

He scores more points than my team without even starting 2 players.  And Andy Dalton scoring -1.76 points.  But the fact that he's no longer trying leaves him down here.  Right???