There's a line from a rap song that says "people came to see the titanic sinking, instead we rose from the ash like a phoenix"
I'm certain (hoping) that one of our sinking teams this year will be able to pull off a phoenix, rise from the ash, and at least make a serious run in the playoffs. So, this week's pig-post will be feelings-free and will be a quick analysis of our league's bottom feeders:
8th Place - Ham'Wheelin and something
Why they suck
Doug Martin had 25+ carries last week and had a 1.5 YPC... looks like the Muscle Hamster is stuck on his spinning wheel. His WR's need some work (KC doesn't throw the ball more than 8 yards, Mike Wallace disappears every other week) and Vick cooled off after Week 1 as well.
Saving Grace?
Reggie Bush, when healthy, has been a monster. Le'Veon Bell also had a nice little coming out party last week... and if Dougie Martin pulls his act together, Eric will have 3 elite RB's. With some leverage and savvy trading, he can use it to upgrade his WR's and/or QB and put himself back on the map. Hopkins also looks pretty good.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 7
Bush and Vick, both injury prone, need to stay healthy for Eric to be a serious threat. Also, with our league's trade aversions, getting a good deal might be tough, even if he gets some strength at RB.
9th Place - Spider Pig
Why they suck
CJ2Lame has been largely a bust. Injuries in the first few weeks have made life tough for the Pig (Fitz, Davis) and his WR3 bets have not been fruitful (get your act together Tavon Austin).
Saving Grace?
One word - GIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. If Gio can be a weekly threat, and his team can stay healthy, the Pig has lots of upside. Also, LeSean McCoy has gotten minor injuries in both his last 2 games. They need to become major injuries so Bryce Brown can go HAM.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 8
The Pig is looking healthy and quite succulent now. His RB2/WR3 still remains a challenge, but one can only hope right?
10 - You've Changed Bro
Why they suck
Weak RB's. The Ray Rice trade isn't looking so great anymore huh? Duke also has a similar WR3 problem (which is why we should change to FLEX #nawsayin)
Saving Grace?
Gronk is coming back eventually which should be a HUGE lift. He also has Peyton so... maybe? And if Baltimore ever turns it around, it's gotta start with Ray Rice.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 4
Not a whole lot of depth and upside on his bench. And his RB's are seriously in need of some work
11 - Terrific Tortoises
Why they suck
Megatron isn't the runaway overall WR1 this year, which makes it tough for David given the price he paid (1st round pick). DeSean is cooling off with the rest of the Eagles and well... have you seen his RB corp?
Saving Grace?
Roddy White is eventually going to get healthy again. He also has Miles Austin on the bench, who should be a decent WR3. If David can use his law skillz to negotiate a good trade, he could slowly but surely climb back up the league ladder. Slow and steady wins the race?
Phoenix-ability Rating: 6
He doesn't have much inherent upside in his RB corp, but lots in his WR depth. David needs to leverage his position and trade with one of the several teams with a deficient WR3 to get some RB strength. Hopefully soon before we all realize that DeSean Jackson and the rest of the Eagles offense are a time bomb
12 - Pinchers of Peril
Why they suck
He drafted David Wilson and CJ Pooper... ouch. It's hard to rebound with both your top RB's being busts so far. Luck is also a good NFL QB, but not a great fantasy one.
Saving Grace?
Tim needs the Giants Offense to find itself (c'mon Nicks), CJ Pooper to stop pooping, and get something usable out of his RB2.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 3
Sorry dude. Maybe offer Justina some Cookout and she'll give you Marshawn Lynch?
Til next time,
Malcolm Glad-Pig
I'm certain (hoping) that one of our sinking teams this year will be able to pull off a phoenix, rise from the ash, and at least make a serious run in the playoffs. So, this week's pig-post will be feelings-free and will be a quick analysis of our league's bottom feeders:
8th Place - Ham'Wheelin and something
Why they suck
Doug Martin had 25+ carries last week and had a 1.5 YPC... looks like the Muscle Hamster is stuck on his spinning wheel. His WR's need some work (KC doesn't throw the ball more than 8 yards, Mike Wallace disappears every other week) and Vick cooled off after Week 1 as well.
Saving Grace?
Reggie Bush, when healthy, has been a monster. Le'Veon Bell also had a nice little coming out party last week... and if Dougie Martin pulls his act together, Eric will have 3 elite RB's. With some leverage and savvy trading, he can use it to upgrade his WR's and/or QB and put himself back on the map. Hopkins also looks pretty good.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 7
Bush and Vick, both injury prone, need to stay healthy for Eric to be a serious threat. Also, with our league's trade aversions, getting a good deal might be tough, even if he gets some strength at RB.
9th Place - Spider Pig
Why they suck
CJ2Lame has been largely a bust. Injuries in the first few weeks have made life tough for the Pig (Fitz, Davis) and his WR3 bets have not been fruitful (get your act together Tavon Austin).
Saving Grace?
One word - GIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. If Gio can be a weekly threat, and his team can stay healthy, the Pig has lots of upside. Also, LeSean McCoy has gotten minor injuries in both his last 2 games. They need to become major injuries so Bryce Brown can go HAM.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 8
The Pig is looking healthy and quite succulent now. His RB2/WR3 still remains a challenge, but one can only hope right?
10 - You've Changed Bro
Why they suck
Weak RB's. The Ray Rice trade isn't looking so great anymore huh? Duke also has a similar WR3 problem (which is why we should change to FLEX #nawsayin)
Saving Grace?
Gronk is coming back eventually which should be a HUGE lift. He also has Peyton so... maybe? And if Baltimore ever turns it around, it's gotta start with Ray Rice.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 4
Not a whole lot of depth and upside on his bench. And his RB's are seriously in need of some work
11 - Terrific Tortoises
Why they suck
Megatron isn't the runaway overall WR1 this year, which makes it tough for David given the price he paid (1st round pick). DeSean is cooling off with the rest of the Eagles and well... have you seen his RB corp?
Saving Grace?
Roddy White is eventually going to get healthy again. He also has Miles Austin on the bench, who should be a decent WR3. If David can use his law skillz to negotiate a good trade, he could slowly but surely climb back up the league ladder. Slow and steady wins the race?
Phoenix-ability Rating: 6
He doesn't have much inherent upside in his RB corp, but lots in his WR depth. David needs to leverage his position and trade with one of the several teams with a deficient WR3 to get some RB strength. Hopefully soon before we all realize that DeSean Jackson and the rest of the Eagles offense are a time bomb
12 - Pinchers of Peril
Why they suck
He drafted David Wilson and CJ Pooper... ouch. It's hard to rebound with both your top RB's being busts so far. Luck is also a good NFL QB, but not a great fantasy one.
Saving Grace?
Tim needs the Giants Offense to find itself (c'mon Nicks), CJ Pooper to stop pooping, and get something usable out of his RB2.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 3
Sorry dude. Maybe offer Justina some Cookout and she'll give you Marshawn Lynch?
Til next time,
Malcolm Glad-Pig
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