Power Rankings: Week 5

I always enjoy some friendly banter, especially in the form of amusing memes.  I'm not sure it ever gets old, even after 8+ years.  Too bad I didn't understand half of the memes Gabs sent out.  Not even sure those were intended for smack talk..


1. The Pain Train (4-1) [1]

All Gabs had to do was start his QB and 2 RBs and he would have still won this week.  Such a stark contrast between the rich and poor in this fantasy land.


2. Unicorn Burps (2-3) [2]

It had to be because I called the upset.  Sorry, David.  You fell on an odd-numbered week (see Duke's blurb).  I found it very hard to place a team with a losing record at the top of the rankings, even though David's team has scored more points than Gabs's team, and arguably deserves to be #1.  Besides his (2-3) record, his team is doing phenomenal.  Oh, the pains of fantasy football.


3. Jen Wong's Team (4-1) [4]

Jen has the wool all over my eyes, and I'm still not buying it.  But she's been legitimately producing enough to back her (4-1) record up, and imagine what her score would have looked like with T.Y. Hilton starting.  Whatever she's doing, she's doing right, and even though I'm still confused as to how it's getting done, I can't find a more consistent team outside of the Train and Unicorn.


4. Password is Taco (4-1) [7]

I'm not exactly sure how's she's doing it, but she's getting the job done.  Jacquizzi workhorsed it for Justina this week, and gave her a much-celebrated win over the struggling Pig.  Moving forward, her team still doesn't look all that great to me on paper.  But hey, 5th highest in scoring so far this season - it's better than most of us can claim.  Besides, I'm starting to think that my denial of other teams's successes (Jen, Justina) is a reflection of my understanding of fantasy football, and therefore somehow correlated to the performance of my team.  As in, maybe I'm not the best judge of what makes a team win.  Or maybe the times they are a-changin'.


5. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (3-2) [3]

Still looking for an RB2?  I don't even have an RB1.  Your team is fine, just be patient.  And start the players that will score the most points.  And stop putting players on IR that aren't hurt.


6. Charlotte Hornets (3-2) [6]

Abraham should feel lucky that all the teams below him in these rankings (outside of maybe Duke's team) are really that bad.  Bad enough where even though he lucked out a win against Aaron's team this week, he still gets to maintain his #6 spot.  I'm interested to see how Trent Richardson's development with the Colts play out, but besides that, Abraham will probably continue to rely on his stacked WRs to carry him through each week.

7.  Ham'wheelin'&dealin (1-4) [5]

Vick goes down and it's becoming harder and harder for me to justify placing Eric's team in the top half of the rankings.  Sure, Tony Romo can get the job done, but the Hamsters continue to show holes that haven't been patched up sufficiently.  Eric's been making bank on Fred Jackson, much to my chagrin, but he'll need his Hamster and Le'Veon Bell to really step it up before his team can win legitimate games.  I think it's doable, but will it be done?

8. You've Changed Bro (2-3) [9]

No team has been more consistently inconsistent in terms of doing well one week, then tanking the next.  Week 1: 2nd highest score, Week 2: lowest score, Week 3: 4th highest score, Week 4: 2nd lowest score, Week 5: 2nd highest score.  Lesson to all: don't play Duke's team on an odd-numbered week.  Lesson #2 to all: Peyton Manning is ridiculous.  I'm just going to keep Duke's team down here - I'm tired of flip-flopping on him.  Besides, next week he'll probably stink it up again.


9. Seenie J (3-2) [8]

It was a pitimous showing by Jeff's team, but I'll give him the fact that he didn't have A.Pete or Garcon in his lineup.  Next week should be a better one for him, though.  Ah, yes... just in time for the outpouring of my wrath.


10. Spider Pig (1-4) [10]

Talk about wasted points on the bench.  Luke's team has potential.  I'll agree that his Phoenix rating seems to be pretty high, even with his (1-4) record.  He'll have some easy matchups in the next few weeks, so if he capitalizes on that stretch, you may see his team back near the middle of the pack in a month or so.  Which is saying a lot, for his team.  But his players have to step it up and play to their potential, something I can relate to as a fellow bottom-dweller.


11. Pinchers of Peril (2-3) [12]

I'll take whatever wins I can get.  My team overall still isn't looking great, but at least I've got some WRs to help me get my pity wins to build up my playoff resume.  Goonies never say die.


12. Terrific Tortoises (1-4) [11]

:(  Sad face.  Silver lining: you don't have the lowest "points for" score in the league... right?  Sorry, I tried to find a better one, but I couldn't.