Laura and Justina Make Predictions

Looks like you guys are in for another treat because Laura and I wrote predictions!  Hers are in black, mine are in green.

RelientK (0-3) vs. aaronisyourdaddy (1-2)

OK so I gave up too quickly on Eli and Bradshaw last week. I really thought the Eagles aka “The Dream Team” were going to dominate. Anyway, I'm hoping last week was a hint of things to come! Also, my team's attractiveness went way up in starting Eli...sorry, Aarons (Aw that's so cute, you share names with your starting QB!) I think my team will be able to earn its first W. I'm tired of being a loser!

This is probably the prediction in which I have the least confidence, but I sincerely hope Laura wins.  I’m a little worried Aaron’s team will make the most of their matchups, and I also think he might have some karma points from that snarky e-card I sent him (on his Facebook wall), but I hope it doesn’t manifest in this week’s match.  Or in my matches, ever.

Winner: RelientK | Relient K

odoyle RULES (2-1) vs. JUSTINA OWNS (3-0)

I really don't know. I think this one will be close, even though Justina's team is way uglier than Tim's. But let's be real, the main reason is because Cam Cam is such a cutie. (Justina can you add to this – I don't really know your team well! Thanks ;) You can pick the winner for this one!)

Okay, so I’m working on a modified system that takes into account the player’s position.  For example, the prettier the QB, the more responsibility his offensive line feels to protect the goods, and the higher the likelihood for better passing, touchdowns, etc., so a linear scale makes sense.  On the other hand, the uglier the WR, the less the coverage wants to be near him, and the higher the chance of him being open for a catch, so a lower score is actually preferable to a higher one.

Obviously, this theory isn’t watertight (darn your pretty face Wes Welker), but since Jeffrey’s team is an all-around headache anyway, I think it’s pretty good.  And from this logic, I think my team should win.  Tim's QB may be cuter than mine, but my WRs are fuglier.  I’m a little nervous about starting A.J. Green because Laura and I both gave him a 6, but I’m hoping the other WR on the field is at least as attractive to the defense.  By the way, you want to see someone crazy looking?  Look at Jerome Simpson.  Or rather, try to look past Jerome Simpson’s forehead at his face. What was I talking about?  Right, football.  Although our teams may be comparable at this point, I think my players’ individual matchups look a little better than Tim’s.

Winner:  JUSTINA OWNS

Spider Pig (1-2) vs. JohnKasay#1 (1-2)

This is not even fair. Spider Pig has favorable match ups (according to Yahoo!) AND is close to average in looks, whereas JohnKasay#1 has got to get some beauty sleep... RBs need some help, Justina and I gave them 2s and 3s! At least you have Phillip Rivers, but I'm not sure he'll be able to balance out the rest of your scary, in a bad way, looking team.

Word.  I also like this prediction because it fits in with my position-specific rating system thus far.

Winner: Spider Pig | Spider Pig

Rainbow Warriors (3-0) vs. what's poppin slime (2-1)

Excuse me for a second, I need to call Justina out for a minute. Were we even looking at the same picture of Rob Gronkowski?! A NINE, really? I gave him a THREE. Maybe, just maybe, I was getting tired of ranking players by the time I got to Jeff's team.

Well, both of these teams can score ridiculous amounts of points. I don't really have a good reason other than going with our power rankings… but I'm picking the Rainbow Warriors. What do you think, Justina?

HAHA well I think the fatigue affected us differently: Laura ranked lower, and I got really generous.  By the time I got to Gronkowski’s relatively attractive face, it was like looking at an angel.  Yeah, I said that.  Anyway, I hate picking Rainbow Warriors as the winner because it goes against my new model, but I guess it must be the outlier.

Winner: Rainbow Warriors | Rainbow Warriors

THE Pain Train (1-2) vs. Terrific Tortoises (1-2)

Since Gabs is benching Tony Romo...I'm picking the Tortoises. Plus, I think Chris Johnson will finally have a good fantasy game – and do you know why that will be? Because, my Tar Heel friends, your football team is going to lose on Saturday to the Pirates in Greenville. That is a much more important prediction ;) So, CJ will be so happy he'll play like he's worth 13 million bucks or whatever it is.

I'm going to agree, mainly because I have no idea, so whatever Laura suggests is fine with me.  I almost wish David would lose so he would finally feel like he has more to gain than lose from trading away Stafford.  And then I wish he would trade him to me, because I would take good care of him.  And then I wish I could have a pet rhinoceros.  But getting back to the point... who’s to say that who’s greater, all we know, they ain’t the same. It’s a Cole World, no blanket.

Winner: Terrific Tortoises and East Carolina | Terrific Tortoises AND GO HEELS GO AMERICA