Pre-Season Power Rankings

What?!?!  That's right, ladies and gentlemens.  Power rankings are BACK.  At least for pre-season.  "What I thought you didn't have time, Tim?"  Well, technically I shouldn't have time, but I'm tired of reading over my CV and personal statement for the 10293898th time, and I'm not invincible to the forces of peer pressure.  It's funny that people still think my analysis is legit.  I haven't followed football nearly as much as I used to (see my draft day decisions).  But hey, if this is what the people want, I will give it to them.  So let the fun begin.


Pre-Season Power Rankings
1. Spider Pig (0-0)
With a solid RB (Charles), a highly-anticipated $100M QB (Vick), pretty reliable WRs (Jennings, Jackson, Colston), and a could-be-pretty-good-but-yet-to-prove-himself RB (Moreno), I think Luke has a pretty nice starting roster.  That's about where it ends, though.  Matt Ryan is a fair backup, but all his others are sleepers (Best, Spiller, Bush) or busts (Steve Smith, sadly enough) at best.  Plus, Yahoo said he had the best draft of 2011.  Yahoo has got to be right some of the time, right?

2. Rainbow Warriors (0-0)
Wow Jeff has a pretty good team this year.  Jeff, don't screw it up by leaving it alone.  He's only got 1 reliable RB - Adrian Peterson is a no-brainer, but Felix Jones (as well as Ryan Grant) may end up disappointing more than performing.  WRs are a nice bunch, though - Welker may not be fully healthy, but Jones and Garcon aren't bad options.  It's hard to go wrong with Brady as your QB (might want to find a backup, though), and I like his TE pick.

3. JohnKasay#1 (0-0)
Eric - rather, John Kasay - has put together a nice looking team.  Two solid RBs (Mendenhall and Gore), a top QB (Rivers), 3 good WRs somewhere in the mix (Wayne, Boldin, Moss - I'm fairly confident Ochocinco is a bust), and a TE steal (from me - I just forgot to pick him before Eric did), he's put together a nice starting crew.  The rest of his team still has a bit to prove (Newton, for starters), but he can afford to wait for their development while he rides his starters.

4. what's poppin slime (0-0)
David surprised a lot of us when he picked Rodgers in the first round.  I'm guessing his rationale was that passing TDs count for as much as running TDs, and with the way Rodgers has been playing the past few years, he's bound to rack up major points for David versus picking a (by then) lower quality RB.  He was probably right, but now is faced with a mediocre RB corps (Ingram might prove to be legit with time, who knows).  He also has a pretty decent set of WRs.  So while his team doesn't look super spectacular now, we all know his game-day vulturous habits, so I wouldn't be surprised if David spruces up his team over the course of the season.

5. aaronisyourdaddy (0-0)
I truly believe Arian Foster will not perform like he did last year.  That's not to say he will have a terrible year, but I wouldn't be surprised if Aaron has trouble deciding whether or not to start him in the later weeks of the season.  I could be wrong, though.  If I am, Aaron's team belongs higher up on the rankings.  But as for now, he's brought down a few notches because of it.  His WR group is decent - has promise in Nicks, but not sure where else he's planning to go with his other receivers.  He managed to pick up the best TE in the league (Gates), which is an added bonus.  With Schaub as his only QB, I question how much production he'll get at that spot, but maybe he has some secret plan up his sleeve with the 6 RBs he has.  Maybe he's found a way to put one of them in the QB slot or something.

6. Terrific Tortoises (0-0)
David, in his first year playing fantasy football with us, claimed to have no knowledge how to play.  His picks weren't terrible, though - I've definitely seen worse (Yahoo autodraft aka Gabs - see below).  Besides Chris Johnson, his RB situation doesn't have any superstars, but he's got a good rotation going on (LT?, Blount, Bush) that could help in tighter weeks.  Brees will add a good bit of production, as well as his group of WRs (Austin, Bowe... maybe Harvin).

7. JUSTINA OWNS (0-0)
Justina has a pretty nice 3-RB lineup (Rice, Forte, Green-Ellis), some good talent at the WR spot (Calvin Johnson, Marshall, and Britt - Britt may surprise us all.. or not, but he has upside), so-so QB, and a sleepy bench.  By sleepy, I mean that they are sleepers.  As in, could be good, could be sucky.  Let's hope they're all good, because potential doesn't win games (you can quote me on that one).

8. Relient K (0-0)
Poor Laura, settled for the little brother, who ends up blowing up (in a bad way) over the preseason.  That's not to condemn Eli's regular season, but it certainly is a bad omen.  Her starting RBs are decent, her TE should have a good season, and her top 2 WRs are pretty good, but her team kind of falls flat after that.  Did she pick 2 Mike Williams-es on purpose?  Mind games.

9. odoyle RULES (0-0)
I'll be the first to admit that I made some bad decisions on draft day.  But I'd like to think I somewhat redeemed myself.  I've got at least one stable RB (McCoy), but Jones-Drew may end up disappointing more than appointing.  I think Peyton Manning was a steal in the 5th round, even though he may not even start week 1, which is troubling.  Who am I trying to convince?  Overall, I'd say my team is looking pretty pitiful.  Wallace will have to carry the WR workload while my other minions prove themselves worthy of starting - and I don't think that's happening anytime soon.  Similar to Justina's team, I'm riding on potential to win me some games in the future (Bryant, Meachem, Little, Olson, etc. etc. basically everyone on my team).  I'd like to think of myself as the Panthers - let's call this a rebuilding season.

10. THE Pain Train (0-0)
Poor Gabs had to autodraft for whatever reason.  His RBs aren't worth too much at this point - I have questions about McFadden, and Greene has yet to really prove himself.  Tony Romo is inconsistent.  Besides Andre Johnson, his WRs aren't looking so great either.  Tony Gonzalez would have been a nice pickup like.. 10 years ago.  Looks like Gabs got the raw end of the autodraft deal.  That's why, boys and girls, you never autodraft if you can help it.  Especially with Yahoo's system.