I just stuck with the basic Thanksgiving dishes this year - didn’t get cute with any Thanksgiving / turkey alternatives. It had been a while since doing the traditional dishes, so I’m actually now looking forward to a traditional meal tomorrow - Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
1. Deep Fried Turkey = Terrific (Taylor’s Version) (David) (9-3) [3]
We all know this is the superior way to cook turkey. The skin is crispy, the meat is not dry, and it’s so much quicker than roasting in the oven. David’s team has really set itself apart from the rest of the league this year. It started off slow, but with a season-high 177.72 points last week, David has shown his team is the star of the season.
2. Ham = Run It Back! (Gabs) (8-4) [1]
Ham > Turkey, prove me wrong. It’s also hard to mess up ham - just heat it up in the oven. You can’t really undercook it or overcook it, so you get a pretty consistent product regardless of cooking method. While David has been on a pretty hot streak in the latter half of the season, Gabs’s team has been the most consistently successful throughout the course of the season.
3. Pumpkin Pie = Just Didn’t Catch D’Achane (Haji) (8-4) [2]
Pumpkin Pie is the classic meal finisher. It’s not a proper Thanksgiving without Pumpkin Pie to top things off, and a good Pumpkin Pie means a strong finish to dinner. Haji’s team is going to finish the season strong with games against Jeff Lin and Laura. It honestly doesn’t get any easier than that - easy as pie, you could say.
4. Green Bean Casserole = ToInfinityandBijan! (Eric) (6-6) [6]
I’ve had awesome Green Bean Casseroles and I’ve had nasty Green Bean Casseroles. The good ones have all that crispy onion goodness on top, the green beans are just the right texture, the mushroom flavor doesn’t dominate the casserole, and it’s just pure deliciousness. Then I’ve had green bean mush, or undercooked / raw green beans, or no crispy onions, or too much cream of mushroom. And everything in between. Eric’s team has been all over the place this season. Some weeks his team looks unbeatable, other weeks he gets one of the lowest scores, and other weeks he’s just middle of the road. You never know what you’re going to get, but it always pushes for a prominent place at the dinner table (i.e. a playoff spot).
5. Mashed Potatoes = Spider Pig (Luke) (7-5) [5]
I get that some people love their Mashed Potatoes, but to me, Mashed Potatoes is a very plain side dish. It’s a necessary carb, and when done well, really adds to the meal. But I’m not going into Thanksgiving looking forward to the mashed potatoes. Luke’s team has been pretty middle-of-the-road the whole season - nothing impressive, but nothing devastating, but enough to likely earn a spot in the playoffs.
6. Gravy = Unicorn QueenZ (Tim) (7-5) [4]
Gravy unites the many dishes of Thanksgiving together. Gravy on turkey? Good. Gravy on Mashed Potatoes? Good. Gravy on roasted veggies? Good. Accidental gravy on Mac n Cheese, Ham, or Rolls? Good. My team isn’t going to blow anyone away and isn’t the star of the show, but I also realize I am the gravy that holds the whole meal together.
7. Corn Casserole = 第六 (Abraham) (5-7) [7]
Corn Casserole gets overlooked at Thanksgiving. It’s not a star of the meal, nor is it even a 2nd cousin. Side dishes like Mac n Cheese, Mashed Potatoes, and Green Bean Casserole kind of take the spotlight for side dishes. Thinking back to Thanksgiving meals, I’ve never had a memorable Corn Casserole. I feel like Abraham’s team is going to be the best team left out of the playoffs this year, and the season will end up being an unmemorable one for him.
8. Sweet Potato Casserole = Lamar You Ready? (Jeff Chen) (6-6) [8]
Sweet Potato Casserole is really good for the first bite. More than 3 bites is way too much for me. Jeff Chen’s season started off incredibly sweet like the marshmallow topping of a sweet potato casserole. But after Week 5, it was barf city because one can only eat so much sweet potato casserole before it comes back up.
9. Dinner Rolls = chinaballa (Andrew) (6-6) [9]
Dinner Rolls will rarely steal the show of a Thanksgiving meal. But they are a consistent and necessary carb in the meal. Andrew’s team hasn’t been stellar, but it hasn’t been extremely bad, either. His team actually ranks 1st in Standard Deviation rankings, meaning it has been pretty consistent throughout the season. In fact, he’s the only team that hasn’t had either the #HighScore or the #LowScore all season.
10. Cranberry Sauce = choubacca (Aaron) (2-10) [11]
I don’t think I eat cranberry sauce at any point in the year besides Thanksgiving. As infrequent as Aaron shows up in our league, it’s like he’s forgotten about his team the same way we forget about cranberry sauce the rest of the year. And yet he still somehow puts up 120+ points every so often out of nowhere just to make sure his presence is felt. I guess some weeks the cranberry sauce comes out of a can and some weeks it is homemade and actually decent tasting.
11. Burnt Stuffing = The IR-Relevant Team (Jeff Lin) (4-8) [10]
The Stuffing is what makes the turkey edible. It’s delicious by itself as well, and oftentimes is what people look forward to in their Thanksgiving meal. It’s typically pretty consistent and hard to mess up if made out of the box. Jeff Lin has been one of the more consistently successful teams in our league over the years, but this year has not been his year at all. His normally consistent Stuffing team has been burnt and inedible this season. Throw out this season, better luck next year.
12. Brussels Sprouts = Maybabyboo (Laura) (4-8) [12]
Everyone needs some roughage in their Thanksgiving meal, and that’s what the Brussels Sprouts are for. Doesn’t taste great, but it does the job. Laura has provided the roughage we all need this season by giving us an easy matchup when we play her team. Thanks for making our tummies feel better, Laura.
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