I think I may have used up my database of Halloween candies, so instead of comping candies this year, I decided to scour some old photos (as well as Facebook for some of you) and make some Halloween costume comps. Some of you don’t have enough embarrassing photos to share (probably to your credit) so you’ll have to work with me on some of these.
1. LAMAReyoukiddingme?! (Eric) (6-2) [1]
Eric extended his win streak to 4 games with yet another week of elite scoring. Outside of the obvious fact that Lamar Jackson is carrying his team, Eric has been fortunate with avoiding major injuries at RB and has really capitalized on the 3 he drafted - all 3 are in the top 10 scoring RBs for the season, and they have been pretty consistent on a weekly basis. Add Mark Andrews to the mix, and Gabs is right - Eric probably doesn’t need much help at WR with what he has right now. That’s how dominant his team is.
Halloween Costume Comp: Mr. Monopoly
It’s safe to say Eric has had a monopoly on the #1 spot so far this season. Not only is his team 1st in League Standings, it’s also 1st in Points For, 1st in Standard Deviation rankings, and 1st in FAAB remaining - it’s like the money that’s just hanging from his jacket, he probably doesn’t know what to do with all that FAAB.
2. 第六 (Abraham) (4-4) [2]
Jordan Love getting hurt has been a problem for Abraham multiple times this season. He still has a solid supporting cast, though, especially with Kyren and Gibbs anchoring that RB room. I’m also a little salty he picked up Keon Coleman from waivers, but Abraham has done a pretty good job this season scouring the waiver wire, so props to him for that.
Halloween Costume Comp: ?
Honestly, I don’t know what Abraham is supposed to be in this picture. But I do know he’s trying to hang with Eric, so that’s why this picture is relevant.
3. Breece Mode (Haji) (3-5) [3]
Haji had a down week in Week 8, but in spite of his frustration as a Jets fan and as a Breece owner, I think his team is still on solid ground, at least on paper. I’ll be interested to see if / what he can convert his Breece capital to. Indy’s switch to Flacco at QB should help MPJ, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the Panthers keep Jonathan Brooks out this whole season since it’s a lost one, which would mean more production for Chuba.
Halloween Costume Comp: Oompa Loompa
Like an Oompa Loompa, who do all the hard work behind the scenes to make Willy Wonka’s Factory work, Haji’s team has put in the work to get 3rd in Points For. However, Oompa Loompas are in many ways underappreciated and looked down upon, similar to Haji’s team with its 3-5 record and 9th place in League Standings. Keep working, though, Haji - maybe you’ll get a featured song soon as the movie / season progresses.
4. Kraft Mac Salad (Andrew) (4-4) [4]
Andrew’s team has been solid in October. I think Njoku will continue to do well with a new QB, and Andrew’s other regulars also ought to continue to produce. His QB situation is a little iffy, though - Stroud hasn’t been all that spectacular and it looks like Andrew might be starting Bo Nix in Week 9, which isn’t a terrible play, but would have been unthinkable just a month ago.
Halloween Costume Comp: Soldier?
This doesn’t look like a very intimidating soldier (or an actual soldier, for that matter - I don’t think it was an actual Halloween costume), but you take a closer look and you realize that’s a real sword that can do some real damage. Andrew’s team has been relatively low key good - doesn’t look all that menacing, but be careful, it’s equipped with a real sword.
5. Maybabyboo (Laura) (4-4) [10]
Laura’s dominant performance in Week 8 has given her team a big bump up in the Power Rankings as well as the League Standings. Her team has been pretty boom-bust (last place in Standard Deviation rankings) but I do think it is on the upwards trend given that she’s gotten some key players back from injury. Watch out.
Halloween Costume Comp: Spider
I know this wasn’t a Halloween costume and she’s not supposed to be a spider either, but work with me here. Laura has been spinning a web for the rest of us unassuming prey and just hanging out until it’s the right time to jump. Well, it seems like now is the right time, and it turns out duct tape is pretty strong?
6. I am not sacko! (Jeff Chen) (4-4) [6]
Jeff Chen put up some decent numbers in Week 8, got the win, and is still middle of the pack in both the rankings and League Standings. His team has gotten hit with injuries lately to DK, Mike Evans, and Drake Maye, but has surprisingly been able to stay afloat. While his RBs still don’t look all that pretty, they’re getting the job done, and Mostert should do more work with Tua helping the Miami offense step it up overall.
Halloween Costume Comp: Drag Jeff
I mean, do I need to explain much? Jeff’s team did not look attractive at all to start the season. In fact, I still do not find it attractive. But I guess if he likes it, and that’s what he’s into, then who am I to judge?
7. Love thy Naber (Jeff Lin) (4-4) [9]
It’s looking like this might be the turning point for Jeff Lin’s team. With a lot of key players returning to health, his team has the capacity to put up big numbers like it did at the beginning of the season. Whether his team can sustain its health is another question only time will tell. But I do think Jeff’s patience throughout the down weeks of not having Kupp, Hockenson, Tua-less Achane, Nabers, etc. will pay off.
Halloween Costume Comp: Angry Bird
The season started out strong - Jeff knocked down some blocks, maybe even a few of the green pigs - but inevitably, gravity took over and his angry bird has fallen off the screen. Well, he’s reloaded now and ready to launch another bird, probably to clear the level aka finish the season strong.
8. Unicorn QueenZ (Tim) (6-2) [8]
I’m ok stacking up more wins on mediocre performances with the hopes of sneaking into the playoffs - it beats last year’s Sacko for sure. Jayden Daniels has been my saving grace this season, and it doesn’t hurt to have JaMarr Chase as the #1 WR in the league as well.
Halloween Costume Comp: Bret McKenzie
If you’re like, “Who?” then you got the point. He is one half of the band Flight of the Conchords, aka New Zealand's Fourth Most Popular Folk Parody Duo. If you’re still like, “Who?” that’s fine, I won’t be offended. Your confusion at my Halloween costume is just like my team, which confusingly somehow has a 6-2 record but doesn’t deserve to be in any top-tier conversations.
9. Terrific Tortoises (David) (3-5) [5]
With Jordan Mason’s injury and Javonte not being able to capitalize on the Panthers D matchup, David’s team struggled to score points in Week 8. There is some hope that CMC will return after SF’s Week 9 bye, but who knows what his involvement will look like to start, and the risk for injury will always be in the back of David’s mind. Jalen Hurts still looks good, though. David’s Indy WRs should benefit from Flacco at QB and Cedric Tillman will be interesting to watch as he develops with Jameis in Cleveland. But Week 9 might be rough for David.
Halloween Costume Comp: Squirtle Pumpkin
I couldn’t find any incriminating photos of David on Facebook, so this was the best I could do. Squirtle because, well Tortoises, and pumpkin because David’s probably waiting for the fairy godmother to turn his pumpkin of a season into a beautiful carriage, and he’s unfortunately still waiting...
10. Run It Back! (Gabs) (4-4) [7]
Gabs was happy to have Jonathan Taylor back in the fold, but injuries to Brian Thomas, Tyrone Tracy, and lingering injuries from Tee Higgins and newly-traded Diontae Johnson still puts question marks around Gabs’s team moving forward. He should at least still have enough solid players to start, but his team will need to get fully healthy to compete consistently. Also, his QB situation is not looking all that great.
Halloween Costume Comp: Volleyball Player
I couldn’t find any costume photos for Gabs, and I know this isn’t a Halloween costume, but hear me out. Gabs’s team has looked pretty good, just like this action shot of him playing volleyball - wow, so impress! But the past few weeks have been pretty bad for Gabs, almost as if he’s playing the wrong sport…
11. choubacca (Aaron) (3-5) [11]
It is kind of funny and kind of sad that Aaron can score the 2nd most points in any week so far this season and still remain Sacko with the lowest overall Points For. While Week 8’s performance was impressive, I’m still wary of bumping his team up in the rankings until it shows a bit more consistency. I do think it’s probably coming, with the rise of Tyreek, CeeDee, Baker (and maybe Cade Otton?). But scars remain from the terrible start to the season.
Halloween Costume Comp: Shaving Cream Aaron
I know this also isn’t a costume, but it reflects what has happened so far this season for Aaron. An unsuspecting Aaron has been creamed so far this season - he was supposed to cruise as a top-tier team with the big names on his team, but it has been far from that. However, he’s up now and ready to seek vengeance.
12. Spider Pig (Luke) (3-5) [12]
Luke’s team continues to struggle, and I’m not sure what’ll get him out of it. His team will go as Saquon, Puka, and DeVonta Smith goes. The rest just seems like dead weight, including Patrick Mahomes at this point.
Halloween Costume Comp: Death
Luke’s face says it all here.
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