1. MyRavensStackIsntWorkingOut (Eric) (3-2) [1]
Welcome back, Mark Andrews!.. as the 3rd most productive TE on your own team. 41 points from Lamar Jackson is nice though, #1 QB in FF right now. Maybe Eric won't need a Ravens stack, he just needs Lamar.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Kalua Pork
This classic Hawaiian dish is probably what most people think of first when they think of Hawaiian food - it’s the main event at a luau and usually a hit with any non-vegetarian.
2. Breece Mode (Haji) (1-4) [3]
After a strong start to the season, Haji’s last 2 weeks have been looking suspect. In spite of Chuba being a solid piece, the rest of Haji’s team hasn’t been able to put it together. However, no team has really made a strong case to be up here based on consistent performance the last 2 weeks (except maybe Jeff Chen or Andrew’s team..), so Haji’s team kind of ends up here by default.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Spam Musubi
Spam Musubi is delicious. It’s hard to mess up rice, Spam, and seaweed. It’s a superior grab-and-go food that meets all of your basic dietary needs. So what’s wrong with it? Why can’t you just eat Spam Musubi for every meal? Haji’s team has been a similar conundrum - it’s got all the ingredients needed for a good team. Then why does it have a (1-4) record and is sitting at 11th in the standings? Has the Spam gone bad? Is that even possible? Is too much of a good thing turning into a bad thing? Who knows.
3. 第六 (Abraham) (2-3) [4]
It seems like Abraham’s been one step ahead of the rest of us in terms of picking up next week’s waiver RBs - a few weeks back picking up Braelon Allen and more recently picking up Roschon Johnson. He had the patience to keep Tank Bigsby, too. His team didn’t look so great to start the season, but in spite of the Week 5 loss, it’s been on a roll as of late.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Loco Moco
Loco Moco is basically rice, a hamburger patty, gravy, and a fried egg. At first sight, it doesn't look super appetizing. But then you take a bite and you understand why people like it. As Joey Tribbiani would say, “Rice? Good. Hamburger? Good. Gravy? Good. Egg? Good.” Abraham's process has been sound, all of his ingredients are solid, and although the team didn't start the season looking sexy, it has hit the spot and gotten the job done.
4. Run It Back! (Gabs) (4-1) [6]
Gabs’s team has been solid in spite of some QB woes. He’s made some good calls on unproven players, including Tyrone Tracy this week, and it’s gotten him to 2nd in league standings. His Points For is middle of the pack, but his team looks decent with the core of Kenneth Walker, Brock Bowers, and Brian Thomas (who he has yet to start) - which sounds weird when you repeat it out loud.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Malasadas
Malasadas are basically jelly-filled donuts that at first appearance seem like imitation donuts - what’s the big deal, there are plenty of jelly-filled donuts on the mainland. Well, malasadas are different. The texture of the dough is superior, the flavors of the jelly are superior, and it’s just overall a delicious experience. Gabs’s team has not appeared all that impressive at first glance, but sitting at (4-1) and #2 in the standings means he has a superior team, at least at the moment.
5. Love thy Naber (Jeff Lin) (3-2) [2]
Jeff Lin’s team is in a free fall. Injuries came all at once for his team, and the future is looking a little tenuous for Jeff, at least in the short-term.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Shaved Ice
Jeff Lin’s team started the season off so well, like the top of a shaved ice - covered in condensed milk, toppings, and syrup - so delicious. But by the time you get to the bottom of the shaved ice, it has melted into watery syrup. Jeff's team has melted into watery syrup.
6. I am not sacko! (Jeff Chen) (3-2) [8]
I’m not sure how he’s doing it, but he’s doing it. Jeff Chen continues to dominate his foes, this time slaying Luke with 43 points from Joe Burrow. Nico’s health will have an affect on Jeff’s short-term outlook, but Jeff has proven his team deserves respect.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Poi
I know there’s a whole island of people that like this stuff, but I just don’t get it. It’s just mashed up taro, right? It doesn’t look all that appetizing, doesn’t taste all that appetizing, but I guess it has some nutritional value. It’s like Jeff’s team - it doesn’t look all that good, but there’s been some value in it. I still don’t get it, though.
7. Unicorn QueenZ (Tim) (4-1) [10]
Although my team is #1 in the league standings, I’m still not convinced it deserves to be much higher in the rankings. I do like the trajectory that JaMarr Chase and Jayden Daniels have been taking, and Brian Robinson has been more than a pleasant surprise. I’ll keep riding Kareem Hunt until the wheels fall off, too. I don’t know how sustainable all of this will be, but I’m going to enjoy this moment while it’s here.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Saimin
Saimin is basically an inferior cousin to ramen. Don’t get me wrong, Saimin is still good. But if you ask me which I’d prefer, it’s ramen 10/10 times. Ramen tends to have a more flavorful broth and more interesting toppings. My team feels like an imitator, not a true contender. It’s still good and gets the job done, but I think there’s better out there.
8. Terrific Tortoises (David) (2-3) [7]
David miraculously survived his bye-pocalypse / bye-mageddon with some deft waiver moves and much help from Joe Flacco. How his team will fare moving forward is still unknown, but I have confidence in David to continue to figure things out.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Chicken Long Rice
I’m not an expert, but Chicken Long Rice feels very basic. I get that it’s comfort food, but it’s just bean noodles with chicken and some garnishes. It feels like you just took some leftovers or whatever was in the fridge and put together something just to say you had a meal. It has felt like David has scoured his fridge to try and put something resembling a team together due to so many unforeseen circumstances. The result has been very basic and underwhelming, but it still counts as a team.
9. Spider Pig (Luke) (3-2) [5]
Luke’s team got embarrassed by none other than Jeff Chen’s team in Week 5. I think brighter days are ahead with Saquon back in action, but this one will sting for a while now that Jeff has bragging rights over Luke.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Poke Bowl
Supposedly the cuts of fish they use for poke bowls are generally the end cuts or the parts that are less desirable compared to the prime sashimi cuts. Luke has taken the inferior cuts of fish (provided by Yahoo autodraft) and have somehow mixed them together with some shoyu and delicious toppings to make a (3-2) bowl of poke.
10. Go DJ that’s my CJ (and AJ) (Andrew) (2-3) [11]
Andrew’s team still doesn’t look pretty, but it got the job done in Week 5. The Tucker Kraft pickup and start was nice, as was the Trey Sermon pickup (even though Rhamondre and Rico did pretty well on the bench). Hopefully DJ Moore can continue to produce, in which case I could see Andrew’s team continue to ascend.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Mac Salad
Mac Salad is solid. But it’s not a main dish, it’s a side. Andrew’s team has not felt main-dish worthy for much of the season. Even though his last 2 weeks have been a big improvement, I think it still has a bit to go before it proves it belongs in the main dish category. For now, it’ll still be a solid side dish.
11. Maybabyboo (Laura) (1-4) [12]
I do feel 1% bad for beating Laura, especially since she got the 2nd highest score in Week 5. But as she alluded to, at least she now knows her team can score this many points, and hopefully this will be a foreshadowing of things to come. I do think Travis Kelce, James Cook, Darnell Mooney, and Christian Kirk should continue to provide stability that Laura can build off of.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Lau Lau
Lau Lau is basically meat (pork and / or fish) wrapped in taro leaves and steamed. First off, it doesn’t look that great - it’s just a big steamed green wrapped piece of something. Secondly, I’ve found it can be hit or miss - I’ve had some good and I’ve had some bad. The good can be moist and flavorful, the bad can somehow be dry and bland. Laura’s team hasn’t looked the best on paper, and has also been a mixed bag of good and bad, depending on the week.
12. choubacca (Aaron) (2-3) [9]
Aaron’s team continues to unravel as his star players aren’t so star anymore. He had what looked to be such a strong team to start the season, but after 5 weeks, he finds himself competing for the lowest in Points For.
Hawaiian Food Comp: Halo Halo
If you’ve never had it before, Halo Halo is a Filipino dessert made of crushed ice, evaporated milk, and various fruits, beans, and toppings. It’s actually very colorful and appealing to the eyes, but I’m not a fan. The random textures and flavors all mixed together doesn’t work, in my opinion. Aaron’s team looked very appealing to start the season, but as the season has progressed, it’s turned out to be pretty disappointing.
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