Overall Predictions Record: (20-16)
So I've been working on this calculator for probability of making the playoffs, similar to Nate Silver's Elo Ratings, but of course, not nearly as epic or involved, because I'm not that smart, or have that kind of time (regardless of what you might think). But watch out, blogoworld, some playoff analysis will be in store in the near future, with some bold (probably not so bold, actually) predictions! In the meantime, enjoy these italics predictions.
*~*Game Of The Week*~*
Game of the heavyweights. Jeff has his impressive past performance to help him out while David has his unimpressive cheating performance. #wearethe99% #occupyffnuthang #umbreffarevolution #unikony2014 #notmarginalizingthoseeffortsjusttryingtobefunnymaybenotfunny #hashtag
This is your commissioner, ladies and gentlemen:
Unicorn Burps v. Seenie J
QB
Current Indy QB vs. past Indy QB. The future wins this one, especially against an easier opponent in Cinci D.
Advantage: Seenie J
WR
I'm actually not impressed with either team's WRs. Since David has Brandon Marshall, I'll give him this one, but I don't think it'll be the WRs that decide the game.
Advantage: Unicorn Burps
RB
Can Marshawn bounce back? Yes. But is Marshawn + Ahmad Bradshaw a better start than Forte + Ben Tate (against Jacksonville)? No.
Advantage: Seenie J
TE
Not sure if David will actually be starting Donnell, after he got burned by him last week. But it's not like Dwayne Allen is more impressive.
Advantage: Seenie J
K/DEF
I think Jeff's kicker will do better than David's, but David's defense will do better than Jeff's. So then what? Defense wins championships. Or something.
Advantage: Unicorn Burps
Winner: Seenie J
David lucked out not having to face Jeff when Maclin is playing. I think that would have sealed the win for Jeff. Now, it'll be a much more interesting matchup, but I think Jeff will still pull it off.
Remaining Games
Odoyle rules! v. I'm Coming Home.
QB
Kaep's against Denver this week. I'm liking Cutler.
Advantage: Odoyle rules!
WR
Megatron is doubtful, but Duke will have Roddy ready if needed. I really hope Fitz's performance last week was a fluke and he's back to crappy status this week. #tim'squestionabledecisionmaking But I am liking Sanu taking over receiving roles in Cinci.
Advantage: Odoyle rules!
RB
Why am I happier with Oliver than I am with Shady? It just feels wrong.
Advantage: Odoyle rules!
TE
Gronk is better than anyone I can scoop off of waivers.
Advantage: I'm Coming Home.
K/DEF
Crosby kicking against the Panthers favors Duke, because the rest of the matchups seem like a wash.
Advantage: I'm Coming Home.
Winner: Odoyle rules!
I'm hoping this is the start of Duke's team's decline. Not only does it potentially free up some space in the playoffs, but I could use all the wins I can get. More on this in my playoffs analysis coming soon.
DeMarco Da Murrier v. Charlotte Hornets
QB
Philip Rivers should continue to impress.
Advantage: Charlotte Hornets
WR
Abraham's got the best WRs in the league, plus Justina's two best options won't be playing this week.
Advantage: Charlotte Hornets
RB
Can't bet against DeMarco. And Lamar Miller only adds to Justina's RB threats, big time.
Advantage: DeMarco Da Murrier
TE
I wonder if Greg Olsen is related to MK and Ashley. What are they up to these days, anyway?
Advantage: DeMarco Da Murrier
K/DEF
Both Justina and Abraham have done pretty impressive jobs finding the right defenses to play. Abraham seems to have been doing slightly better, and it looks like his matchups are a little more favorable this week.
Advantage: Charlotte Hornets
Winner: Charlotte Hornets
Abraham will keep his spot atop the league rankings, and maybe even finds his way up the power rankings...
TY come again v. The Pain Train
QB
Russell Wilson should return with a vengeance.
Advantage: TY come again
WR
TY! Come again! Especially since Gabs has nothing at WR.
Advantage: TY come again
RB
I think Gabs might actually have a chance at winning an RB matchup this year. Eddie Lacy vs. Carolina is a very enticing matchup.
Advantage: The Pain Train
TE
Once again, advantage Julius.
Advantage: The Pain Train
K/DEF
Seattle Defense should mess the Rams up pretty badly.
Advantage: TY come again
Winner: TY come again
Both teams are hungry for a win, but it's looking like Apu will win his first.
#myteamSUCKS v. Spider Pig
QB
Rodgers will pound the Panthers, unfortunately
Advantage: #myteamSUCKS
WR
...and Jordy will benefit from Rodgers's pounding of the Panthers, unfortunately
Advantage: #myteamSUCKS
RB
Arian Foster has been impressive. Plus, it doesn't hurt that Eric has no RBs worth starting. Like, literally no RBs.
Advantage: Spider Pig
TE
I'm liking Antonio Gates in this one.
Advantage: Spider Pig
K/DEF
Buffalo Defense has an easier matchup against Minnesota. That should play nicely into Eric's favor.
Advantage: #myteamSUCKS
Winner: #myteamSUCKS
Do I feel an upset coming along? Why, perchance, I do.
Chou Chainz v. Terrific Tortoises
Winner: Terrific Tortoises
Did I really need to analyze this one?
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