Is this what you guys think of me?
Ok, you might be right. I caved in to peer pressure. The masses asked for it, so they got it. I spent a good amount of time on this entry, and I actually do believe it will be the last of the season, in spite of how much more you all may beg. So since there will be no predictions, I will give you my prediction stats for the year here:
Week 12 Predictions Record: (3-3)
Overall Predictions Record: (44-34)
And my predictions for the playoffs?
Week 14:
Seenie J over DeMarco Da Murrier
Unicorn Burps over Spider Pig
Charlotte Hornets over Terrific Tortoises
#myteamSUCKS over I'm Coming Home.
Week 15:
Seenie J over Unicorn Burps
#myteamSUCKS over Charlotte Hornets
Championship:
#myteamSUCKS over Seenie J
Yes, I really do think Eric can, and will, win it all. If anyone else wants to, they can enter into a playoff bracket pool with me. I'll take entries up until the Thursday night game this week. I'm willing to pay no more than $5, though. Hey, still easy money playaz.
Final Power Rankings
1. Seenie J (9-4) [2]
Jeff's team has won the regular season, with much help from solid draft picks Andrew Luck ($15!) and Matt Forte. His pickup of Jeremy Maclin was pretty crucial, seeing as how the rest of his WRs were terrible (he's still starting Michael Crabtree??). I will not hesitate to point out, though, that he has the second-lowest "Points Against" of the season, behind only Duke (more on him later). According to my own calculations, his Strength of Schedule was 12th in the league (which means he had the easiest schedule). After all, he did go up against Aaron and Duke twice. However, to be fair, his team finished with a league-best 1368.98 in "Points For." So one could argue that it wasn't his fault that the teams he was up against didn't score much - he still got the job done by scoring more than any other team over the course of the season.
I will refer you to this amazing article written by one of our brilliant managers if you'd like further clarification on that topic. But to think, Jeff pulled this all off somehow without this guy:
Never gets old.
2. Charlotte Hornets (8-5) [1]
Abraham's team goes against any conventional fantasy football wisdom (or lack of) I may have gleaned over the past 12 years. Building around the backbone of WR superstars (Antonio Brown, Randall Cobb, Mike Evans, Alshon Jeffery) - the strongest corps in our league, if I may argue - he's been able to put together a strong sophomore season without consistent performance in any of the other relevant positional categories (Kickers don't count). His highest-scoring RB (Branden Oliver) is 32nd in scoring in the league! The most logical conclusion I can come to is he's been managing the crap out of his team, and it's paid off. Or sorcery of some sort.
3. Unicorn Burps (8-5) [3]
David was simply meant to lose to my team. Twice. That shouldn't detract from the solid season he built, though. He managed to work the waiver and trade lines without any FAAB money for the majority of the season, and I think it worked out OK for him. He's probably still wishing he hadn't spent all $100 on 5 players that he no longer has on his team (Kirk Cousins $30, Brian Quick $25 [trade bait], Larry Donnell $20 [trade bait], Justin Hunter $10, and Andre Holmes $15 - no I'm not letting you live down Kirk Cousins for $30). But going in to the playoffs, he's got a chance of making a deep run - maybe not due to the strength of his team, but due to the weaknesses of all the other teams (Similarities to the NBA's Eastern Conference, anyone?). He did end up having the 2nd easiest Strength of Schedule (playing me and David Li twice), but I think he just ended up with some unfavorable matchups, which could account for at least 3 of his losses.
4. I'm Coming Home. (9-4) [4]
Here's something that has me scratching my head. Duke managed to finish the regular season in 2nd place overall, even though his team only scored 7 more points over the course of the regular season than mine did (I finished 9th). Obviously, his success was largely due to his league-low "Points Against" BUT I have to point out that according to my calculations, he had the hardest Strength of Schedule in our whole league (the two teams he played twice were Jeff and Abraham). All sorts of head scratching still going on.
5. Spider Pig (7-6) [5]
Of all the teams that made the playoffs, with the exception of David Li's miracle of a team (more on this later), Luke has had the worst final 6 weeks of the season. He's lost 4 of his last 6 games (tied with Justina, and only one more win than Andrew), ranked 3rd-worst in "Points For" in that time span (behind only Andrew and David Li), and has resorted to starting Benny Cunningham at RB2 (2nd only to David Li starting Johnny Manziel - again, more on that later). And the thing is, trading for Peyton Manning and LeSean McCoy actually HELPED his team. Yet his team still sits at 5th in the league and in my rankings. Luke would like to thank his 5-2 record to start the season for that.
6. #myteamSUCKS (6-7) [6]
Talk about a late-season run. Eric is only one of three teams to win 4 or more of the last 6 games (the other two teams: Duke and Jeff). And not only did he win, but he scored 2nd highest or more during each winning week, resulting in the most "Points For" in the last 6 weeks... and did anyone notice that he's 2nd in "Points For" for the whole season??? I think it's safe to say he'll be carrying that momentum into the playoffs. And similar to another top-4 team (Abraham), Eric has done all these with some patchwork RBs. It's amazing what WRs can do for your fantasy football team these days...
7. DeMarco Da Murrier (6-7) [7]
A struggling Justina's team decided to pull out the big guns in the final week and romp her way into the playoffs. Well played. Without that last win, you would have joined Andrew in the lonely 5-losses-in-the-last-6-games hearts club band. Instead, you're just with Luke in the not-so-lonely 4-losses-in-the-last-6-games duo. And more importantly, with 7 other teams in the playoffs. Unfortunately, I have no other good stats for you except congrats on drafting the most dominant RB in fantasy football this season. You definitely could have done worse (AKA Luke and Adrian Peterson for $70 ROFLMAO).
8. Odoyle rules! (6-7) [9]
Because I write this blog, I'm going to tell myself I belonged in the playoffs. My team had a terrible 4-game losing streak in the middle of the season that ended up shooting myself in both feet and arms, and desperation called for some questionable decision-making in my trading and dropping of players. I ended the season with some ups and downs, and that's just how the game is played, folks.
9. The Pain Train (5-8) [8]
Does anyone remember who won the championship last season? I'm curious to know who Gabs would have kept and if that would have changed the course of this season. LeSean McCoy? Eddie Lacy? Dez Bryant? Julius Thomas? Philip Rivers? After seeing those names, I'm going to go with... No, it would not have changed the course of his season. Although Gabs's woes came mostly in the first 5 weeks, he didn't have enough left in the tank to overcome those woes and make our (AKA The NBA Eastern Conference) playoffs.
10. Terrific Tortoises (7-6) [12]
He did it. He made the playoffs. With a league-low 1118.30 "Points For" (that's an average of 86.02 points per game! Even the Philadelphia 76ers are averaging more points per game than that!... 91.5, in case you were wondering), he finished the season among the top 8. From Week 7 onward, his team scored 5th lowest or worse in each of the games (2 games @ 5th lowest, 2 games @ 3rd lowest, 1 game @ 2nd lowest, and 2 games @ absolute lowest). And yet they finished that 7-week stretch with a 4-3 record (which included a 0.30-point margin of victory over his Bae), and a ticket to the big dance. I'm not sure I can spin it any other way - it's pretty much a Cinderella story of Cinderella stories. Here's to hoping that story continues... Oh what?? Starting Johnny Manziel?? Nevermind.
11. Chou Chainz (4-9) [10]
Aaron had some kick in his team during the last half of the season, going 3-3 in the last 6 games. But his abominable 1-6 record in the first 7 games held him down too much. In all fairness, his team had the 2nd hardest Strength of Schedule (playing Gabs and Jeff twice), but it honestly all broke down the minute Yahoo! autodrafted for him. He spent a combined $65 on Zac Stacy and C.J. Spiller. #2014Lulz
12. OUCHsoclose (3-10) [11]
Jamaal going down was a dagger that Andrew just couldn't fully recover from. It's ok, doing poorly happens to almost all first-year managers in this league, for some reason. Just look at Abraham and Duke - they were pretty much in your position last year, and look where they are now. I will say, though, the added smack talkery and banter coming from Andrew was a much-welcomed addition to our league.
