Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Predictions: Week 5
It seems like my hashtag predictions caught on. I apologize that this week I have no trendy trend to offer you all. I am open to ideas, though.
Pinchers of Peril (1-3) v. Ham'wheelin'&dealin (1-3)
It's funny to me that Yahoo still predicts 10.99 points for David Wilson. How do they come up with these stupid algorithms to predict these points? He hasn't even scored that many points in 4 weeks combined! Anyone tired of hearing about David Wilson yet? Anyone want to trade for him? He's a perfect "buy low" candidate! Ok yeah, sorry, so predictions. It looks like C.J. probably won't be 100%, and since Fred Jackson has been doing a superb job scoring the fantasy points that C.J. Spiller should be scoring, I don't see why this week will be any different. Like I mentioned in the rankings, Vick will return strong, and those two players alone (Vick and Fred Jackson) should be enough to beat my team. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if Eric only started 3 players and still beat me.
Winner: Ham'wheelin'&dealin
Spider Pig (1-3) v. Password is Taco (3-1)
In an attempt to be objective, I think Luke has the stronger team this week. At all positions, except maybe kicker. But I secretly want him to lose so I can feel better about my team.
Winner: Spider Pig
Choux AKA Sweet Buns (3-1) v. Charlotte Hornets (2-2)
I don't think Jimmy Graham is slowing down anytime soon. Abraham's WRs have a slight edge over Aaron's, but I think Arian Foster will make up for any of Aaron's losses at WR.
Winner: Choux AKA Sweet Buns
Seenie J (3-1) v. Jen Wong's Team (3-1)
Jen capitalizes on Adrian Peterson's bye week and continues to ride to victory behind Drew Brees, Seattle D, and some random player doing well.
Winner: Jen Wong's Team
You've Changed Bro (1-3) v. Unicorn Burps (2-2)
Upset alert: Duke's team is going to squeeze out a win this week. Why? Peyton Manning is on fire, Alfred Morris and Antonio Brown are on bye, and if Gronk is back in action, that'll just be icing on the cake. And then I'll find a reason to put Duke's team back near the top of the rankings.
Winner: You've Changed Bro
Terrific Tortoises (1-3) v. The Pain Train (3-1)
Do I really need to explain this one?
Winner: The Pain Train
| Tim | |
| Last week's record | (2-4) |
| Overall record | (11-13) |
| Percentage | 0.46 |
Pinchers of Peril (1-3) v. Ham'wheelin'&dealin (1-3)
It's funny to me that Yahoo still predicts 10.99 points for David Wilson. How do they come up with these stupid algorithms to predict these points? He hasn't even scored that many points in 4 weeks combined! Anyone tired of hearing about David Wilson yet? Anyone want to trade for him? He's a perfect "buy low" candidate! Ok yeah, sorry, so predictions. It looks like C.J. probably won't be 100%, and since Fred Jackson has been doing a superb job scoring the fantasy points that C.J. Spiller should be scoring, I don't see why this week will be any different. Like I mentioned in the rankings, Vick will return strong, and those two players alone (Vick and Fred Jackson) should be enough to beat my team. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if Eric only started 3 players and still beat me.
Winner: Ham'wheelin'&dealin
Spider Pig (1-3) v. Password is Taco (3-1)
In an attempt to be objective, I think Luke has the stronger team this week. At all positions, except maybe kicker. But I secretly want him to lose so I can feel better about my team.
Winner: Spider Pig
Choux AKA Sweet Buns (3-1) v. Charlotte Hornets (2-2)
I don't think Jimmy Graham is slowing down anytime soon. Abraham's WRs have a slight edge over Aaron's, but I think Arian Foster will make up for any of Aaron's losses at WR.
Winner: Choux AKA Sweet Buns
Seenie J (3-1) v. Jen Wong's Team (3-1)
Jen capitalizes on Adrian Peterson's bye week and continues to ride to victory behind Drew Brees, Seattle D, and some random player doing well.
Winner: Jen Wong's Team
You've Changed Bro (1-3) v. Unicorn Burps (2-2)
Upset alert: Duke's team is going to squeeze out a win this week. Why? Peyton Manning is on fire, Alfred Morris and Antonio Brown are on bye, and if Gronk is back in action, that'll just be icing on the cake. And then I'll find a reason to put Duke's team back near the top of the rankings.
Winner: You've Changed Bro
Terrific Tortoises (1-3) v. The Pain Train (3-1)
Do I really need to explain this one?
Winner: The Pain Train
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Power Rankings: Week 4
Happy Belated Birthdays to the only two females in our league. Both gifted with a win this week in fantasy football. Direct quote from Jen: "I beat Eric San....one of the best bday presents so far :D" I bet Justina thought the same thing, except her win was not as glorious.
Also note that the length of my entries is directly correlated with my success in fantasy football, which directly correlates with my interest in such foolish games. So if you want longer entries, you have to start letting me win. If it means benching all of your players, I'll take it. A pity win is better than a loss.
Finally, props to Luke for his interesting Phoenix entry. I'm not sure where he gets his numbers from, but it was still an entertaining read. I mean, who assigns arbitrary numbers to teams based on how good he thinks they are, and then thinks it a "feelings-free" endeavor? Oh wait...
1. The Pain Train (3-1) [1]
9.4 points for Shady is an "off day." If only I could get that many points from my two RBs combined.
2. Unicorn Burps (2-2) [2]
Tough loss, but his team still produced a respectable number of points. All without his star QB, too.
3. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (3-1) [5]
Jimmy Graham has been impressive. Aaron's team is starting to play to its potential.
4. Jen Wong's Team (3-1) [8]
Jen's team still doesn't look that great on paper to me. But they've been getting the job done, especially the past two weeks. I'll give her a bump up, but I'm still skeptical about the sustainability of her success.
5. Ham'wheelin'&dealin (1-3) [4]
I'm still keeping Eric's team relatively high up here because I think Vick will bounce back, and a healthy Le'Veon Bell could do some major damage. His team is better than his record shows.
6. Charlotte Hornets (2-2) [7]
Squeaked out a win this week, but the future is uncertain. Run DMC is hurt, but Abraham may have worthy replacements. We'll see how things play out.
7. Password is Taco (3-1) [6]
How can you possibly win a game and still get dropped in the rankings? Play my team. Suckers.
8. Seenie J (3-1) [10]
I'm not buying what Jeff's trying to sell. Out of obligation, he moves up in the rankings, but I still think his team is weak, aside from his RBs. He'll need more than one week to prove me wrong.
9. You've Changed Bro (1-3) [3]
Duke was right, his team sucks. Peyton is still holding up well, but injuries to other players still plague his team. Gronk coming back will help, but the extent to which is unknown.
10. Spider Pig (1-3) [11]
In spite of the loss, Luke puts together a better showing than in weeks past. However, he'll need more to become the phoenix he aspires to be.
11. Terrific Tortoises (1-3) [12]
A win!
12. Pinchers of Peril (1-3) [9]
I secretly think my team is not the worst in the league, but for the second week in a row, my team tanked. Worst bottom-feeding party ever - spiders, pigs, and tortoises. Well, tortoises are cool, but the other two? Ugh.
Also note that the length of my entries is directly correlated with my success in fantasy football, which directly correlates with my interest in such foolish games. So if you want longer entries, you have to start letting me win. If it means benching all of your players, I'll take it. A pity win is better than a loss.
Finally, props to Luke for his interesting Phoenix entry. I'm not sure where he gets his numbers from, but it was still an entertaining read. I mean, who assigns arbitrary numbers to teams based on how good he thinks they are, and then thinks it a "feelings-free" endeavor? Oh wait...
1. The Pain Train (3-1) [1]
9.4 points for Shady is an "off day." If only I could get that many points from my two RBs combined.
2. Unicorn Burps (2-2) [2]
Tough loss, but his team still produced a respectable number of points. All without his star QB, too.
3. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (3-1) [5]
Jimmy Graham has been impressive. Aaron's team is starting to play to its potential.
4. Jen Wong's Team (3-1) [8]
Jen's team still doesn't look that great on paper to me. But they've been getting the job done, especially the past two weeks. I'll give her a bump up, but I'm still skeptical about the sustainability of her success.
5. Ham'wheelin'&dealin (1-3) [4]
I'm still keeping Eric's team relatively high up here because I think Vick will bounce back, and a healthy Le'Veon Bell could do some major damage. His team is better than his record shows.
6. Charlotte Hornets (2-2) [7]
Squeaked out a win this week, but the future is uncertain. Run DMC is hurt, but Abraham may have worthy replacements. We'll see how things play out.
7. Password is Taco (3-1) [6]
How can you possibly win a game and still get dropped in the rankings? Play my team. Suckers.
I'm not buying what Jeff's trying to sell. Out of obligation, he moves up in the rankings, but I still think his team is weak, aside from his RBs. He'll need more than one week to prove me wrong.
9. You've Changed Bro (1-3) [3]
Duke was right, his team sucks. Peyton is still holding up well, but injuries to other players still plague his team. Gronk coming back will help, but the extent to which is unknown.
10. Spider Pig (1-3) [11]
In spite of the loss, Luke puts together a better showing than in weeks past. However, he'll need more to become the phoenix he aspires to be.
11. Terrific Tortoises (1-3) [12]
A win!
12. Pinchers of Peril (1-3) [9]
I secretly think my team is not the worst in the league, but for the second week in a row, my team tanked. Worst bottom-feeding party ever - spiders, pigs, and tortoises. Well, tortoises are cool, but the other two? Ugh.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Phoenix
There's a line from a rap song that says "people came to see the titanic sinking, instead we rose from the ash like a phoenix"
I'm certain (hoping) that one of our sinking teams this year will be able to pull off a phoenix, rise from the ash, and at least make a serious run in the playoffs. So, this week's pig-post will be feelings-free and will be a quick analysis of our league's bottom feeders:
8th Place - Ham'Wheelin and something
Why they suck
Doug Martin had 25+ carries last week and had a 1.5 YPC... looks like the Muscle Hamster is stuck on his spinning wheel. His WR's need some work (KC doesn't throw the ball more than 8 yards, Mike Wallace disappears every other week) and Vick cooled off after Week 1 as well.
Saving Grace?
Reggie Bush, when healthy, has been a monster. Le'Veon Bell also had a nice little coming out party last week... and if Dougie Martin pulls his act together, Eric will have 3 elite RB's. With some leverage and savvy trading, he can use it to upgrade his WR's and/or QB and put himself back on the map. Hopkins also looks pretty good.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 7
Bush and Vick, both injury prone, need to stay healthy for Eric to be a serious threat. Also, with our league's trade aversions, getting a good deal might be tough, even if he gets some strength at RB.
9th Place - Spider Pig
Why they suck
CJ2Lame has been largely a bust. Injuries in the first few weeks have made life tough for the Pig (Fitz, Davis) and his WR3 bets have not been fruitful (get your act together Tavon Austin).
Saving Grace?
One word - GIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. If Gio can be a weekly threat, and his team can stay healthy, the Pig has lots of upside. Also, LeSean McCoy has gotten minor injuries in both his last 2 games. They need to become major injuries so Bryce Brown can go HAM.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 8
The Pig is looking healthy and quite succulent now. His RB2/WR3 still remains a challenge, but one can only hope right?
10 - You've Changed Bro
Why they suck
Weak RB's. The Ray Rice trade isn't looking so great anymore huh? Duke also has a similar WR3 problem (which is why we should change to FLEX #nawsayin)
Saving Grace?
Gronk is coming back eventually which should be a HUGE lift. He also has Peyton so... maybe? And if Baltimore ever turns it around, it's gotta start with Ray Rice.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 4
Not a whole lot of depth and upside on his bench. And his RB's are seriously in need of some work
11 - Terrific Tortoises
Why they suck
Megatron isn't the runaway overall WR1 this year, which makes it tough for David given the price he paid (1st round pick). DeSean is cooling off with the rest of the Eagles and well... have you seen his RB corp?
Saving Grace?
Roddy White is eventually going to get healthy again. He also has Miles Austin on the bench, who should be a decent WR3. If David can use his law skillz to negotiate a good trade, he could slowly but surely climb back up the league ladder. Slow and steady wins the race?
Phoenix-ability Rating: 6
He doesn't have much inherent upside in his RB corp, but lots in his WR depth. David needs to leverage his position and trade with one of the several teams with a deficient WR3 to get some RB strength. Hopefully soon before we all realize that DeSean Jackson and the rest of the Eagles offense are a time bomb
12 - Pinchers of Peril
Why they suck
He drafted David Wilson and CJ Pooper... ouch. It's hard to rebound with both your top RB's being busts so far. Luck is also a good NFL QB, but not a great fantasy one.
Saving Grace?
Tim needs the Giants Offense to find itself (c'mon Nicks), CJ Pooper to stop pooping, and get something usable out of his RB2.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 3
Sorry dude. Maybe offer Justina some Cookout and she'll give you Marshawn Lynch?
Til next time,
Malcolm Glad-Pig
I'm certain (hoping) that one of our sinking teams this year will be able to pull off a phoenix, rise from the ash, and at least make a serious run in the playoffs. So, this week's pig-post will be feelings-free and will be a quick analysis of our league's bottom feeders:
8th Place - Ham'Wheelin and something
Why they suck
Doug Martin had 25+ carries last week and had a 1.5 YPC... looks like the Muscle Hamster is stuck on his spinning wheel. His WR's need some work (KC doesn't throw the ball more than 8 yards, Mike Wallace disappears every other week) and Vick cooled off after Week 1 as well.
Saving Grace?
Reggie Bush, when healthy, has been a monster. Le'Veon Bell also had a nice little coming out party last week... and if Dougie Martin pulls his act together, Eric will have 3 elite RB's. With some leverage and savvy trading, he can use it to upgrade his WR's and/or QB and put himself back on the map. Hopkins also looks pretty good.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 7
Bush and Vick, both injury prone, need to stay healthy for Eric to be a serious threat. Also, with our league's trade aversions, getting a good deal might be tough, even if he gets some strength at RB.
9th Place - Spider Pig
Why they suck
CJ2Lame has been largely a bust. Injuries in the first few weeks have made life tough for the Pig (Fitz, Davis) and his WR3 bets have not been fruitful (get your act together Tavon Austin).
Saving Grace?
One word - GIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. If Gio can be a weekly threat, and his team can stay healthy, the Pig has lots of upside. Also, LeSean McCoy has gotten minor injuries in both his last 2 games. They need to become major injuries so Bryce Brown can go HAM.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 8
The Pig is looking healthy and quite succulent now. His RB2/WR3 still remains a challenge, but one can only hope right?
10 - You've Changed Bro
Why they suck
Weak RB's. The Ray Rice trade isn't looking so great anymore huh? Duke also has a similar WR3 problem (which is why we should change to FLEX #nawsayin)
Saving Grace?
Gronk is coming back eventually which should be a HUGE lift. He also has Peyton so... maybe? And if Baltimore ever turns it around, it's gotta start with Ray Rice.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 4
Not a whole lot of depth and upside on his bench. And his RB's are seriously in need of some work
11 - Terrific Tortoises
Why they suck
Megatron isn't the runaway overall WR1 this year, which makes it tough for David given the price he paid (1st round pick). DeSean is cooling off with the rest of the Eagles and well... have you seen his RB corp?
Saving Grace?
Roddy White is eventually going to get healthy again. He also has Miles Austin on the bench, who should be a decent WR3. If David can use his law skillz to negotiate a good trade, he could slowly but surely climb back up the league ladder. Slow and steady wins the race?
Phoenix-ability Rating: 6
He doesn't have much inherent upside in his RB corp, but lots in his WR depth. David needs to leverage his position and trade with one of the several teams with a deficient WR3 to get some RB strength. Hopefully soon before we all realize that DeSean Jackson and the rest of the Eagles offense are a time bomb
12 - Pinchers of Peril
Why they suck
He drafted David Wilson and CJ Pooper... ouch. It's hard to rebound with both your top RB's being busts so far. Luck is also a good NFL QB, but not a great fantasy one.
Saving Grace?
Tim needs the Giants Offense to find itself (c'mon Nicks), CJ Pooper to stop pooping, and get something usable out of his RB2.
Phoenix-ability Rating: 3
Sorry dude. Maybe offer Justina some Cookout and she'll give you Marshawn Lynch?
Til next time,
Malcolm Glad-Pig
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