FFNUTHANG Week 1 #Predictions

Wanted to test the FB Columns feature, but also because I know you guys are starved for content and Abraham’s prediction prowess seems to no longer exist. RAPID FIRE PREDICTIONS WEEK 1 LET”S GO FOOTBALL

Unicorn QueenZ (0-0) v. SwiftlyWinning? (0-0)

Russell Wilson revenge game > Baker Mayfield revenge game, and that’s basically what it boils down to. Eric’s Mixon + Swift combo makes me BigJelly, especially since I don’t have an RB2 worth writing about.

Winner: SwiftlyWinning?

Chicken Dinner (0-0) v. choubacca (0-0)

I think this one will be close, but this will be the start of Kyle Pitts’s emergence as TE1 overall, and Derrick Henry will dominate early in the season for Steven. Aaron will stay close with his stacked WRs, but it won’t be enough to overcome Dak’s poor play.

Winner: Chicken Dinner

NFC + AFC WEST (0-0) v. 第十一 (0-0)

Abraham’s RBs are in dire need of help, but I think he’s got enough at WR to overcome that this week. Jeff wins the QB and DEF battles, but that’s about it - the rest of the positions seem pretty even or tips in favor of Abraham.

Winner: 第十一 (0-0)

Kupp of Joe (0-0) v. Terrific Tortoises (0-0)

Josh Allen is about to go HAMBURGER tonight, and David’s going to ride that to victory. Allen Robinson’s performance will set the tone for Andrew for the week, and a part of me thinks it’s going to be a disappointing tone. Andrew will need to bank on his RBs and MPJ to make up for lost ground, and I think Josh Allen’s performance tonight + David’s other pieces will be enough to hold off Andrew this week.

Winner: Terrific Tortoises (0-0)

Run It Back (0-0) v. Breece Mode (0-0)

Positionally, I like Gabs’s players better than Haji’s, except at TE. I think this year is the actual beginning of the end for Tom Brady. I also think DK Metcalf is still going to eat. And I don’t think Kelce’s dominance will be enough for Haji to make up for Gabs’s advantages at all other positions.

Winner: Run It Back (0-0)

Spider Pig (0-0) v. Me and MaHomies (0-0)

No analysis needed. Luke’s team is a joke. I’m not one for putting much stock in Yahoo’s Projected Points, but let’s just say my team has more projected points than Luke’s right now, and I don’t even have a Kicker.

Winner: Me and MaHomies (0-0)