Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Predictions: Week 2
I'm surprised - no one is up for challenging me again this season?!
Pinchers of Peril (0-1) v. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (1-0)
Starting Carson Palmer over Danger Russ? Sure, he's up against the 49ers. And he didn't do as well as Palmer did last week. But I'd start the younger QB in this case, since the Seahawks game will be a big rival game, on a Sunday Night, at home, and Palmer is just... old. (Fun fact - who is the oldest starting QB in the NFL? Of course, Peyton Manning (age 37). Who is the oldest current QB in the NFL? Jeff Garcia (age 43)! And did you know that Tom Brady (age 36) is only one year younger than Peyton Manning?! He looks like he's... 25. So dreamy.) Wait, but why am I giving Aaron advice on how to beat me? Disregard. Thanks, Sweet Buns - I needed the Week 2 win anyways. :) Even if C.J. Spiller only gives me 4 points.
Winner: Pinchers of Peril
Spider Pig (1-0) v. The Pain Train (1-0)
I'm liking RG3 against the Packers, all of Gabs's WRs over Luke's, and while Luke's RBs will probably outperform Gabs's, I think Gabs's intagibles (i.e. having Terry Tate as your mascot) will propel him to victory. And sorry about your team photo, Luke. Pigs are fat. At least the tasty ones are. You should rename your team Spider Bacon. Mmm... Bacon.
Winner: The Pain Train
Charlotte Hornets (0-1) v. Jen Wong's Team (0-1)
Abraham smarted up and is starting Welker this week. He's got too many RBs to know what to do with himself, though. I'll be happy to take DeAngelo off your hands, Abraham. I'll give you David Wilson - projected breakout of the year. Or you could donate some to Jen - it looks like her team is in need of a few good RBs as well. If the Brees-Colston connection can exponentiate for Jen, then Abraham may have something to worry about. Otherwise, this one should be a relatively easy win for the Hornets, circa 1990s, the days of Grandmama Johnson.
Winner: Charlotte Hornets
Password is Taco (1-0) v. Unicorn Burps (1-0)
Aaron Rodgers in a shootout with RG3 - that's what's going to happen, right? I can't see Marshawn and Steven Jackson having breakout weeks, so David's QB and WRs save the day. The unicorn is burping because of the taco it had Sunday afternoon? Is that how that works?
Winner: Unicorn Burps
Ham'wheelin'&dealin (0-1) v. Terrific Tortoises (0-1)
I'm glad Eric decided to start Vick over Romo. Romo sucks. I have a feeling David won't hit his stride this week quite yet, for the following reasons:
1. I'm not particularly keen about his RBs, especially with Ridley stinking it up last week.
2. Roddy White is questionable for the week.
3. Who knows how Megatron will respond to last week's debacle. I don't think it will be pretty. In a bad way, for David.
4. Tom Brady is 36 years old!?
Winner: Ham'wheelin'&dealin
Seenie J (0-1) v. You've Changed Bro (1-0)
Even if Duke leaves his TE spot empty, I think he's got a good shot against Jeff's team. I doubt Manning will have another monster day, but I think that brother rivalry will get his 37-year-old chops going, and he'll do well. The only thing keeping Jeff in it are his RBs and his nice waiver wire pickup Edelman (who is making bank with all these Patriots getting hurt), but I don't think it will be enough for him this week.
Winner: You've Changed Bro
| Tim | |
| Last week's record | (4-2) |
| Overall record | (4-2) |
| Percentage | 0.67 |
Pinchers of Peril (0-1) v. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (1-0)
Starting Carson Palmer over Danger Russ? Sure, he's up against the 49ers. And he didn't do as well as Palmer did last week. But I'd start the younger QB in this case, since the Seahawks game will be a big rival game, on a Sunday Night, at home, and Palmer is just... old. (Fun fact - who is the oldest starting QB in the NFL? Of course, Peyton Manning (age 37). Who is the oldest current QB in the NFL? Jeff Garcia (age 43)! And did you know that Tom Brady (age 36) is only one year younger than Peyton Manning?! He looks like he's... 25. So dreamy.) Wait, but why am I giving Aaron advice on how to beat me? Disregard. Thanks, Sweet Buns - I needed the Week 2 win anyways. :) Even if C.J. Spiller only gives me 4 points.
Winner: Pinchers of Peril
Spider Pig (1-0) v. The Pain Train (1-0)
I'm liking RG3 against the Packers, all of Gabs's WRs over Luke's, and while Luke's RBs will probably outperform Gabs's, I think Gabs's intagibles (i.e. having Terry Tate as your mascot) will propel him to victory. And sorry about your team photo, Luke. Pigs are fat. At least the tasty ones are. You should rename your team Spider Bacon. Mmm... Bacon.
Winner: The Pain Train
Charlotte Hornets (0-1) v. Jen Wong's Team (0-1)
Abraham smarted up and is starting Welker this week. He's got too many RBs to know what to do with himself, though. I'll be happy to take DeAngelo off your hands, Abraham. I'll give you David Wilson - projected breakout of the year. Or you could donate some to Jen - it looks like her team is in need of a few good RBs as well. If the Brees-Colston connection can exponentiate for Jen, then Abraham may have something to worry about. Otherwise, this one should be a relatively easy win for the Hornets, circa 1990s, the days of Grandmama Johnson.
Winner: Charlotte Hornets
Password is Taco (1-0) v. Unicorn Burps (1-0)
Aaron Rodgers in a shootout with RG3 - that's what's going to happen, right? I can't see Marshawn and Steven Jackson having breakout weeks, so David's QB and WRs save the day. The unicorn is burping because of the taco it had Sunday afternoon? Is that how that works?
Winner: Unicorn Burps
Ham'wheelin'&dealin (0-1) v. Terrific Tortoises (0-1)
I'm glad Eric decided to start Vick over Romo. Romo sucks. I have a feeling David won't hit his stride this week quite yet, for the following reasons:
1. I'm not particularly keen about his RBs, especially with Ridley stinking it up last week.
2. Roddy White is questionable for the week.
3. Who knows how Megatron will respond to last week's debacle. I don't think it will be pretty. In a bad way, for David.
4. Tom Brady is 36 years old!?
Winner: Ham'wheelin'&dealin
Seenie J (0-1) v. You've Changed Bro (1-0)
Even if Duke leaves his TE spot empty, I think he's got a good shot against Jeff's team. I doubt Manning will have another monster day, but I think that brother rivalry will get his 37-year-old chops going, and he'll do well. The only thing keeping Jeff in it are his RBs and his nice waiver wire pickup Edelman (who is making bank with all these Patriots getting hurt), but I don't think it will be enough for him this week.
Winner: You've Changed Bro
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Power Rankings: Week 1
And Week 1 reminds us of how much we love and how much we hate fantasy football. Right?
1. The Pain Train (1-0) [1]
I don't see a convincing reason to bump Gabs's team down yet. Sure, his team didn't score the most points in Week 1, but it still produced a solid performance without James Jones doing anything. I would argue pretty much all of his players gave a performance they were expected to give, so no real surprises here. On top of that, Julio Jones may get more looks now that Roddy White is half broken.
2. Unicorn Burps (1-0) [5]
David puts together a dominant Week 1, with much help from a previously-no-name TE who had a ridiculous QB throwing to him on Thursday night. Will it happen again? Maybe not to that same degree, but I think Julian Thomas will treat David quite well this season. Not to mention another Bronco named Thomas. I'm waiting for these numbers to happen every week before giving David the top spot, but it's definitely achievable in the near future. Peyton Manning may not throw 7 TDs again, but that doesn't mean the Thomas duo won't still be heavily involved.
3. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (1-0) [3]
Aaron's team has the right players to make a great team, so I'm not concerned he scored in the bottom half of the league this week. He even has some nice sleepers on the bench if he needs to go there. Victor Cruz saved him from embarrassment and got him by this week, but I believe in Aaron's ability to make his team work in future weeks.
4. You've Changed Bro (1-0) [11]
I'll start by saying Peyton Manning will be not scoring 60+ points a week, so Duke definitely lucked out to a certain extent this first week. However, even you took away half of Manning's points (giving him 30 points, which is much more conceivable), Duke would have still broken 100 off of impressive performances by Ray Rice, Ryan Mathews, and A.J. Green. While Mathews probably won't put up those numbers on a weekly basis, I think Rice and Green can be relied upon. And if Peyton Manning can continue to show glimpses of his old days, Duke's team may be a force to be reckoned with.
5. Spider Pig (1-0) [6]
Even though Luke's team beat mine, I'm not all that impressed with how his team performed. I'm not sure he can bank on Vernon Davis as his 2nd highest scorer each week and expect to win games. And while his RB1, WR1 and WR2 are pretty good options, he's hoping he doesn't have to look to his bench for help in any circumstances. Because it may not look too pretty. I don't know, maybe I'm just bitter that he beat me. But I guess it would make sense to keep him ahead of my team...
6. Pinchers of Peril (0-1) [7]
David Wilson - I knew he was going to be trouble. Freaking fftoolbox.com said he would be the breakout player of the year. More like breaksuck player of Week 1. And C.J. Spiller.. giving me RB woes all over again. But hey, I like the rest of my team. So far, at least.
7. Ham'wheelin'&dealin (0-1) [2]
While Eric had a very unfavorable matchup this week, to be fair, the only other team he would have beaten is David Li's team. So let's not go there. Eric's RBs did pretty well, but not well enough to make up for his disappointing WRs. Maybe I overhyped his team a little during the preseason. But I think he has upside - Eric has a way of getting things done. So I wouldn't be overly concerned at this point. That doesn't mean he deserves a higher spot in the rankings, though.
8. Terrific Tortoises (0-1) [4]
Ouch. I'm not sure what else to say. David falls back to last place in the league, in spite of early praises about a good draft. I think his outlook is positive, which is why he isn't at the very bottom of the power rankings. But it's definitely looking bleaker than before. I think he has a decent enough bench to pull from, but with question marks next to a lot of important players (Roddy White, Stevan Ridley, Lamar Miller), it's hard to be certain what the future holds. Shouldn't Megatron be getting like.. 10 times the amount of points per week?
9. Password is Taco (1-0) [10]
Justina's team had an impressive Week 1, but I'm skeptical as to whether they can keep it up. I think Kaep will be a huge asset for her team, but I'm still not convinced about the rest of her players. Marshawn and the Seahawks aren't looking like the Super Bowl team some were claiming them to be a week ago, but then again, they were up against a stiff Panther D. I can't justify ranking her team higher at this point, though. I need more proof. Yes, her team beat David's, but I don't think it could do it again if they played each other Week 2. If she proves me wrong, her team will definitely move up.
10. Seenie J (0-1) [8]
I'm liking his 1-2 punch at RB, but can't get excited about the rest of his team (besides Cam, who I like for other reasons outside of fantasy). With nothing on the bench to get excited about (besides his recent waiver pick-ups) and school to consume the majority of his time, Jeff's fantasy outlook isn't so great right now.
11. Charlotte Hornets (0-1) [9]
Abraham had the unlucky privilege of being David Lin's opponent Week 1. Even if he started all of his highest scoring players, it wouldn't have been enough to even put up a fight. While nothing really impresses me about Abraham's team at this point, I think if Richardson can step up and Welker continues to put up nice numbers, we could see glimpses of the 90s Charlotte Hornets instead of the 2010s Charlotte Bobcats.
12. Jen Wong's Team (0-1) [12]
I still don't see Jen's team giving people a run for their money. Drew Brees is her sole bright spot at this point, and that may give her a few wins here and there, but I'm not convinced it's enough to be a threat. It's all about the team name. Her's is just not intimidating.
1. The Pain Train (1-0) [1]
I don't see a convincing reason to bump Gabs's team down yet. Sure, his team didn't score the most points in Week 1, but it still produced a solid performance without James Jones doing anything. I would argue pretty much all of his players gave a performance they were expected to give, so no real surprises here. On top of that, Julio Jones may get more looks now that Roddy White is half broken.
2. Unicorn Burps (1-0) [5]
David puts together a dominant Week 1, with much help from a previously-no-name TE who had a ridiculous QB throwing to him on Thursday night. Will it happen again? Maybe not to that same degree, but I think Julian Thomas will treat David quite well this season. Not to mention another Bronco named Thomas. I'm waiting for these numbers to happen every week before giving David the top spot, but it's definitely achievable in the near future. Peyton Manning may not throw 7 TDs again, but that doesn't mean the Thomas duo won't still be heavily involved.
3. Choux AKA Sweet Buns (1-0) [3]
Aaron's team has the right players to make a great team, so I'm not concerned he scored in the bottom half of the league this week. He even has some nice sleepers on the bench if he needs to go there. Victor Cruz saved him from embarrassment and got him by this week, but I believe in Aaron's ability to make his team work in future weeks.
4. You've Changed Bro (1-0) [11]
I'll start by saying Peyton Manning will be not scoring 60+ points a week, so Duke definitely lucked out to a certain extent this first week. However, even you took away half of Manning's points (giving him 30 points, which is much more conceivable), Duke would have still broken 100 off of impressive performances by Ray Rice, Ryan Mathews, and A.J. Green. While Mathews probably won't put up those numbers on a weekly basis, I think Rice and Green can be relied upon. And if Peyton Manning can continue to show glimpses of his old days, Duke's team may be a force to be reckoned with.
5. Spider Pig (1-0) [6]
Even though Luke's team beat mine, I'm not all that impressed with how his team performed. I'm not sure he can bank on Vernon Davis as his 2nd highest scorer each week and expect to win games. And while his RB1, WR1 and WR2 are pretty good options, he's hoping he doesn't have to look to his bench for help in any circumstances. Because it may not look too pretty. I don't know, maybe I'm just bitter that he beat me. But I guess it would make sense to keep him ahead of my team...
6. Pinchers of Peril (0-1) [7]
David Wilson - I knew he was going to be trouble. Freaking fftoolbox.com said he would be the breakout player of the year. More like breaksuck player of Week 1. And C.J. Spiller.. giving me RB woes all over again. But hey, I like the rest of my team. So far, at least.
7. Ham'wheelin'&dealin (0-1) [2]
While Eric had a very unfavorable matchup this week, to be fair, the only other team he would have beaten is David Li's team. So let's not go there. Eric's RBs did pretty well, but not well enough to make up for his disappointing WRs. Maybe I overhyped his team a little during the preseason. But I think he has upside - Eric has a way of getting things done. So I wouldn't be overly concerned at this point. That doesn't mean he deserves a higher spot in the rankings, though.
Ouch. I'm not sure what else to say. David falls back to last place in the league, in spite of early praises about a good draft. I think his outlook is positive, which is why he isn't at the very bottom of the power rankings. But it's definitely looking bleaker than before. I think he has a decent enough bench to pull from, but with question marks next to a lot of important players (Roddy White, Stevan Ridley, Lamar Miller), it's hard to be certain what the future holds. Shouldn't Megatron be getting like.. 10 times the amount of points per week?
9. Password is Taco (1-0) [10]
Justina's team had an impressive Week 1, but I'm skeptical as to whether they can keep it up. I think Kaep will be a huge asset for her team, but I'm still not convinced about the rest of her players. Marshawn and the Seahawks aren't looking like the Super Bowl team some were claiming them to be a week ago, but then again, they were up against a stiff Panther D. I can't justify ranking her team higher at this point, though. I need more proof. Yes, her team beat David's, but I don't think it could do it again if they played each other Week 2. If she proves me wrong, her team will definitely move up.
10. Seenie J (0-1) [8]
I'm liking his 1-2 punch at RB, but can't get excited about the rest of his team (besides Cam, who I like for other reasons outside of fantasy). With nothing on the bench to get excited about (besides his recent waiver pick-ups) and school to consume the majority of his time, Jeff's fantasy outlook isn't so great right now.
11. Charlotte Hornets (0-1) [9]
Abraham had the unlucky privilege of being David Lin's opponent Week 1. Even if he started all of his highest scoring players, it wouldn't have been enough to even put up a fight. While nothing really impresses me about Abraham's team at this point, I think if Richardson can step up and Welker continues to put up nice numbers, we could see glimpses of the 90s Charlotte Hornets instead of the 2010s Charlotte Bobcats.
12. Jen Wong's Team (0-1) [12]
I still don't see Jen's team giving people a run for their money. Drew Brees is her sole bright spot at this point, and that may give her a few wins here and there, but I'm not convinced it's enough to be a threat. It's all about the team name. Her's is just not intimidating.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Predictions: Week 1
Here's to a better-than-57% prediction season: Week 1 Predictions. Sad about the lack of long descriptions? Well...
Pinchers of Peril (0-0) v. Spider Pig (0-0)
I'm not sure I believe in David Wilson yet. I think this one will be close.
Winner: Spider Pig
Choux AKA Sweet Buns (0-0) v. Jen Wong's Team (0-0)
Refer to their relative pre-season power rankings if you have questions.
Winner: Choux AKA Sweet Buns
Charlotte Hornets (0-0) v. Unicorn Burps (0-0)
The 49ers have a stiff D, but Aaron Rodgers wins it for David.
Winner: Unicorn Burps
Password is Taco (0-0) v. Terrific Tortoises (0-0)
David reaps the benefits of his draft... for himself... and for Justina?
Winner: Terrific Tortoises
Ham'wheelin'&dealin (0-0) v. You've Changed Bro (0-0)
I'm liking Michael Vick. And not liking Duke's team.
Winner: Ham'wheelin'&dealin
Seenie J (0-0) v. The Pain Train (0-0)
As long as Shady and Gore don't get hurt on the first play...
Winner: The Pain Train
Pinchers of Peril (0-0) v. Spider Pig (0-0)
I'm not sure I believe in David Wilson yet. I think this one will be close.
Winner: Spider Pig
Choux AKA Sweet Buns (0-0) v. Jen Wong's Team (0-0)
Refer to their relative pre-season power rankings if you have questions.
Winner: Choux AKA Sweet Buns
Charlotte Hornets (0-0) v. Unicorn Burps (0-0)
The 49ers have a stiff D, but Aaron Rodgers wins it for David.
Winner: Unicorn Burps
Password is Taco (0-0) v. Terrific Tortoises (0-0)
David reaps the benefits of his draft... for himself... and for Justina?
Winner: Terrific Tortoises
Ham'wheelin'&dealin (0-0) v. You've Changed Bro (0-0)
I'm liking Michael Vick. And not liking Duke's team.
Winner: Ham'wheelin'&dealin
Seenie J (0-0) v. The Pain Train (0-0)
As long as Shady and Gore don't get hurt on the first play...
Winner: The Pain Train
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Your Welcome.
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2006/11/f-k-it-im-throwing-it-downfield.html
If only he was still a starter....
If only he was still a starter....
Season Predictions Part Three
Hello friends. If you're still reading this, then... thanks. Let's cut right to it.
3rd and 4th place
1st and 2nd place
4 - Terrific Tortoises: David's skillz and draft day savvy have steadily improved these past 3 years. I'm predicting his best season yet, anchored by his strong WR's and a solid QB. He does have a bit more risk:reward ratio than other teams, but I'm liking David to finish in the top 4.
*Side note: I am totally not ranking David higher just to get on his good side and hopefully get introduced to one of his female Harvard law school friends, although I wouldn't object to that either
3- Pinchers of Peril: The name change works out for Tim. While nothing really jumps out about his team, Tim has good balance, which goes a long way. Even the Panthers made the Super Bowl... once. Still, he's no match for...
2 - Spider Pig: Piggy decides to rewrite the ending to Lord of the Flies and instead of getting killed, he takes over the island. However, I do recognize that my team is a massive If statement. =IF(AND(CHARLES + CJ2K + FITZ DO WELL),"VICTORY","BACON"). I'm hoping Gio makes me proud and/or Justina trades with me again.
1 - Choux: Aaron's got a strong team, as always. Getting Jimmy Graham was extremely helpful in these rankings, but Aaron is also dangerous on the waiver wire and trading block. If he doesn't get fantasy ADD and commits to managing his team through week 14, Aaron just may be metaphorically hoisting the plaque that Mike Wilson still has.
That's all for now. Good luck and Godspeed everyone.
Pig.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Season Predictions Part Two
So, who ends up in the middle of the pack? Let's start the story from the top.
12 - Seenie J - despite having AP (is he really gonna have a monster season again?), Jeff claims that b-school and "studying" takes up too much of his time. His lack of managerial presence and lack of WRs lands him in a similar spot.
11 - You've Changed Bro - Duke struggles in his first season due to a mediocre core (RB+WR). Unless he's got some fantasy managerial skillz we don't know about, or gets some of his sleeper picks to pan out, he's looking to dine at the bototm.
10 - Password in Taco - Justina's got lots of very important international law things to worry about. So, for the second season in a row, she's going to feed somebody an amazing player (can I haz Lynch again?). We can blame law school, or blame David for poor drafting on her behalf.
9 - The Pain Train - Gabs' teams always look great after draft day, but he somehow falls into middle of the pack as the season progresses. He has some sizable risk and upside, but a fairly strong base team so... like Ellie Goulding says, anything can happen.
Middle of the pack...
12 - Seenie J - despite having AP (is he really gonna have a monster season again?), Jeff claims that b-school and "studying" takes up too much of his time. His lack of managerial presence and lack of WRs lands him in a similar spot.
11 - You've Changed Bro - Duke struggles in his first season due to a mediocre core (RB+WR). Unless he's got some fantasy managerial skillz we don't know about, or gets some of his sleeper picks to pan out, he's looking to dine at the bototm.
10 - Password in Taco - Justina's got lots of very important international law things to worry about. So, for the second season in a row, she's going to feed somebody an amazing player (can I haz Lynch again?). We can blame law school, or blame David for poor drafting on her behalf.
9 - The Pain Train - Gabs' teams always look great after draft day, but he somehow falls into middle of the pack as the season progresses. He has some sizable risk and upside, but a fairly strong base team so... like Ellie Goulding says, anything can happen.
Middle of the pack...
7th and 8th place
5th and 6th place
8 - Charlotte Hornets - Abraham takes on Laura's legacy and comes in with the last playoff spot. He has a pretty even keel team , but could use some help with the RB spot... not a believer in the Rice Rocket. He's another wild card being a league newcomer... I mean, Khoa pretty much ran our league when he first showed up, right?
7 - Unicorn Burps - David usually finds a way to place in the top echelon of our league, but methinks that he starts averting his attention to other things this year... like real life. Also, I think he reached a little for Rodgers in a year where there's not going to be a whole lot to differentiate the top 8 QBs.
6 - Jen Wong's Team - Despite her completely unoriginal team name (come on... give us something!!), Jen's got a pretty decent team. Nothing about her team REALLY jumps out, but I think MJD is gonna bounce back and there's a good chance Foster gets injured so... watch out world.
5 - E-San's Team - No such thing as carrying momentum over between season. Case in point... 2005, yours truly wiped the floor with the league using a Shaun Alexander/Larry Johnson combo. How did pig truly finish in 2006? Dead last. It's also not wild to think that Martin will have a little bit of a soph slump, but I'm giving him some kudos.
If you'll notice, the overall point differential between these next four finishers are marginal at best, meaning that our league is pretty even keel overall. There's not a lot to separate a middle-seed playoff team from the 8th seed which means, there's going to be some awesome jockeying for playoff spots in 10 weeks.
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