Week 3 #PowerRankings - Keep / Trade / Cut Edition!

This week, I highlighted players for each team to Keep, Trade, and Cut.

For Keep, I didn’t include any obvious candidates (Jeff doesn’t need to be told to keep Lamar Jackson), but rather I tried to highlight players that people may consider cutting or trading, but that still are worth keeping to see if they return on value. 

For Trade, these are players that either currently have high values but I expect those values to decrease with time, or the team already has a surplus of players at this position and should utilize their depth to trade for other assets. 

For Cut, these are just players that should be cut.

Enjoy!

1. I am not sacko! (Jeff Chen) (3-0) [1]

Jeff Chen’s team just keeps firing on all cylinders in Week 3, earning #HighScore and getting big performances from expected sources (Lamar, Nico, James Cook) and unexpected sources (Dalton Kincaid, David Montgomery on the bench). You could argue Jeff’s a bit weak at TE, but besides that, his team is rolling.

Keep: Emeka Egbuka. Of course, Jeff won’t cut Egbuka, but he might be tempted to trade him away. At his $15 draft value, I think Egbuka is a top keeper candidate for Jeff right now.

Trade: Nico Collins. This might sound crazy, but hear me out. Nico has the highest trade value out of Jeff’s WRs at the moment, and Jeff has the option of keeping Egbuka. Egbuka has a clear path to becoming a WR1, so why not try to bulk up at RB with a blockbuster trade involving Nico?

Cut: Stefon Diggs. He’s faded and too busy wedding planning with Cardi B. See Travis Kelce for reference. No thanks.

2. Run It Back! (Gabs) (2-1) [4]

Jonathan Taylor has been ridiculous the past 2 weeks, and continues to anchor Gabs’s team in spite of disappointing QB play and in spite of Brian Thomas Jr seeming to fall off a production cliff. Gabs’s RB situation is strong and deep, and he should probably capitalize on that value to help reinforce his QB or WR situation.

Keep: Jaydon Blue. You never know with these young backup RBs when their opportunity will come.

Trade: Kenneth Walker III. Gabs has so much depth at RB that he could swap KWIII for some decent value at QB / WR.

Cut: Darnell Mooney. A 2nd-tier receiving option in an Atlanta offense that turns the ball over 3 times to a bad Carolina Defense is not worth keeping.

3. Unicorn QueenZ (Tim) (2-1) [4]

Tyrone Tracy’s injury will pave a way for Cam Skattebo to get more opportunities and hopefully solidify himself as the Giants’s top RB option (which isn’t necessarily saying much, but he’s made the most of it the past 2 weeks). CMC also needs to continue to stay healthy since he’s the only thing keeping the SF offense going. Maybe this is a product of my team staying relatively healthy compared to other teams, or maybe my team is actually pretty good. Who knows, but I am happy with where it’s at right now.

Keep: Keon Coleman. After an explosive Week 1, Coleman has been disappointing the past 2 weeks. I think better days are ahead of him, though.

Trade: Alvin Kamara. With Skattebo’s stock going up, Kamara’s big-name value might be able to fetch a decent return at WR or QB.

Cut: Harold Fannin Jr. I thought it was worth a waiver bid for a rookie TE, but things don’t look great in Cleveland.

4. #surviveandadvance (Eric) (2-1) [3]

Should Eric be worried that Ladd is getting less fantasy production than Keenan and Quentin? Ladd is still getting a decent number of targets, and my bet is Keenan won’t last the whole season, so I think things will end up working out. But needless to say it has been a bit disappointing for Ladd so far this season. In spite of the loss to Gabs, I still think Eric’s got a pretty strong team, and Caleb Williams has been impressive as the overall #2 QB on his bench.

Keep: Caleb Williams. Caleb Williams seems to be in a groove to start his sophomore season, and while it may be tempting to trade him away, I think keeping him will be the better long-term move for Eric.

Trade: Justin Herbert. With the passing volume and the big name, Eric could still get some good value from trading Herbert away while retaining a better-performing Caleb Williams.

Cut: Cooper Kupp. Age and injuries have gotten the better of Kupp, and Eric will need to clear up space on the bench for Godwin at some point.

5. Terrific (Taylor’s Version) (David) (3-0) [8]

David finds his team at 2nd in league standings after a 3-0 start to the season, thanks to his Lions players stepping it up on MNF. He doesn’t care about his team being 7th in Points For, because wins are what matters, right? Gibbs and ARSB will continue to dominate, Jaylen Warren has been a solid RB2 option, MPJ looks good too, and Juwon Johnson continues to prove his worth as a waiver pickup at TE. David’s team has been solid after a slow start in Week 1.

Keep: Rashee Rice. David’s committed at this point, so he might as well see it through. It’ll be tough to continue keeping both Rice and Worthy on the bench, but Rice is the one with the bigger upside if he’s on the field.

Trade: Travis Kelce. Given the TE landscape, David might be able to get some value from Kelce’s name. I’m sure wedding planning has taken its toll, but Kelce is still Kelce.

Cut: Xavier Worthy. Who knows what his return from injury will look like, and honestly I don’t think the headache is worth it.

6. Spider Pig (Luke) (1-2) [7]

Luke’s team did ok in Week 3 - anchored by Josh Allen, Puka, and TJ Hockenson. Saquon will definitely bounce back, but I don’t know what the Commanders plan to do with their backfield, which puts Jacory’s value in question. Luke’s team had a really hot start in Week 1, and while things have cooled down the past 2 weeks, his team has put up respectable numbers considering how bad it looked pre-season. I think he’s done a pretty good job managing things thus far. 

Keep: Troy Franklin. It might be tempting to drop Franklin after a disappointing Week 3, but I think he shows some promise as the 2nd receiving option in Denver.

Trade: Chris Olave. Olave has actually been performing better than I expected so far this season - he’s had a ton of targets, and being a team’s main receiving option has to count for something.

Cut: Kyle Monangai. I’m not sure the Chicago backfield is what I want, even with Monangai’s potential as a young RB.

7. Just Didn’t Catch D’Achane (Haji) (2-1) [9]

Haji has had some pleasant surprises on his team, from Rome Odunze taking a 2nd year leap, Davante Adams not regressing, DeVon Achane staying healthy, Jordan Mason stepping up with Aaron Jones out, and Tyler Warren mostly living up to the hype. Ashton Jeanty is still struggling, but at least Haji has some margin for error with his other players stepping up. He’s still weak at QB, but sits comfortably at 6th in league standings with a 2-1 record.

Keep: Matthew Golden. The rookie WR hasn’t had impressive numbers so far, but I think his time will come soon enough with someone needing to step up in Green Bay’s receiving corps.

Trade: Davante Adams. Adams has had a hot start to the season, but a part of me (the part that had Adams the past two seasons) questions how sustainable this will be.

Cut: Tyrone Tracy Jr. He was already being outplayed by Skattebo, and now with the injury, this might look like fewer opportunities for Tracy even after he gets healthy again. Let him be someone else’s headache.

8. chinaballa (Andrew) (1-2) [5]

Losing CeeDee Lamb so early in the game was devastating for Andrew, and with Lamb possibly out for an extended period of time, Andrew finds himself a bit thin at WR. JSN has been WR1 material, but the once-promising Deebo has been nerfed with Mariota at QB - who knows when Jayden Daniels will return (soon, I hope). Derrick Henry should continue to be solid, Drake Maye should be a decent play, and Brenton Strange has been serviceable with a healthy target share. But Pacheco’s lack of production has been concerning, and Andrew’s bench is pretty weak. He’ll need CeeDee back soon.

Keep: Woody Marks. It’s a matter of time before Nick Chubb gives out, and Marks should benefit from increased opportunity.

Trade: Drake Maye. Andrew might be able to find a UNC alum willing to entertain a Maye trade. Daniel Jones and / or Trevor Lawrence could be serviceable substitutes if Andrew can beef up his WR or RB depth.

Cut: Calvin Ridley. Cam Ward is still a rookie, and Ridley has suffered as a consequence. Let someone else dump some FAAB on him.

9. 第六 (Abraham) (1-2) [11]

Woohoo, Abraham gets his first win, and in convincing fashion, too! Omarion Hampton is now the benefactor of a teammate’s injury, and that should provide more reliable production at RB for Abraham. George Pickens should also benefit from CeeDee’s injury in the short-term. Keenan Allen looks like he hasn’t lost a step at all, which at least counteracts how bad Drake London has looked. Will Hunter Henry or Mark Andrews put up another 20+ points at any point in the season? Maybe, but probably not enough times to make Abraham happy about his TE options. At least his team is 8th in standings and steering clear of repeat Sacko for now.

Keep: RJ Harvey. It might be tempting to drop the underperforming Harvey, but I do like the potential he has to breakout if given the right opportunity.

Trade: Keenan Allen. Cash in on his value while you can - I don’t think Allen will last the entire season.

Cut: Mark Andrews. Yes, he had the monster MNF performance. But that kind of production will come once in a blue moon. Henry should be the more reliable TE.

10. Maybabyboo (Laura) (1-2) [6]

Laura’s team got off to a hot start this season, but has struggled in the last two weeks. Zay Flowers looks more boom-bust now, Justin Jefferson has been mid, Chase Brown is suffering with the Bengals’s weak O-line, James Conner is gone (at least she has Trey Benson on the bench), Bo Nix has struggled, and her bench has a few glimmers of hope but nothing that has broken out yet. I do like Ferguson as her TE option, and also think brighter days are ahead for Justin Jefferson and Zay Flowers. But whether she can adapt to the sudden change in fortune using waiver pickups or trades is TBD.

Keep: Bhayshul Tuten. I think he’s got promise and is just one Etienne injury away from having a wide open window of opportunity to seize.

Trade: Travis Hunter. The big-name exciting rookie prospect may still have some trade value in spite of a slower start to the season. 

Cut: David Njoku. Ferguson is Laura’s answer at TE. She should free up some bench space for a waiver pickup or backup QB.

11. 大展鸿图 (Jeff Lin) (0-3) [10]

I’m trying not to overreact, but Jeff Lin’s team seems to be in big trouble. Putting Joe Burrow’s injury aside for a minute, Malik Nabers’s production has been very boom-bust, and who knows how things will look with Jaxon Dart, but it’s hard to believe it’ll be a huge upgrade. TreVeyon Henderson hasn’t performed up to his draft value, and Breece Hall has struggled. The good news is AJ Brown bounced back and showed he still has it. But returning to the QB problem, Jeff will need better options than Browning and Bryce.. Perhaps through a trade?

Keep: TreVeyon Henderson. It’s been disappointing, but Jeff has to trust the process. Brighter days ought to be ahead for him.

Trade: AJ Brown. Off a hot Week 3 performance, Jeff might be able to cash in on the big name in return for a QB upgrade plus some.

Cut: Jake Browning. He’s not the answer at QB, and neither is Bryce.

12. choubacca (Aaron) (0-3) [12]

Aaron’s team had a much better showing in Week 3, but couldn’t pull out a win against Jeff Chen’s seemingly unstoppable team. Sure, Aaron’s RB situation seems to be improving, but it’s more like upgrading your RBs from bench players to Flex players. There’s still a ways to go before any of them become RB2 or RB1 material. And with Mike Evans probably needing to miss time and JaMarr Chase unable to overcome the Bengals’ terrible offensive woes, the improvement at RB seems to be negated by the decline at WR.

Keep: Ollie Gordon. Out of Aaron’s RBs, Ollie Gordon has the most upside. So while he might not be an every-week starter right now, being patient with him is the way to go.

Trade: JaMarr Chase. His value has dipped with Joe Burrow’s injury, but perhaps a WR-desperate team will be willing to trade for the name.

Cut: Kaleb Johnson. Sure, he’s a rookie RB that could emerge with time, but that time, if it ever happens, may not be this season. Right now he’s just a bench clog.

Week 2 #PowerRankings - Surprise! Edition

Another week in the books and now we have slightly more data to make slightly more informed conclusions and get slightly more tilted in our rest-of-season outlook. This week, I’m highlighting a Surprise! on every team through 2 weeks. Even though there may not be enough data to come to solid conclusions, there have been quite a few surprises so far in FFNUTHANG 2025.

1. I am not sacko! (Jeff Chen) (2-0) [1]

Jeff Chen’s team continues its reign as #1 in the #PowerRankings after another impressive Week 2 showing. Lamar Jackson is QB#1, James Cook and Javonte Williams are RB#1 and RB#2, respectively, and Nico Collins and Tyreek Hill are NOT Jeff’s top-scoring WRs after 2 weeks - that title goes to Emeka Egbuka and Quentin Johnson (who is at the moment on Jeff’s bench for Week 3). If Kittle was still healthy, Jeff’s team would be near unbeatable. But even without Kittle, it’s scary.

Surprise! Javonte Williams. I don’t know if Javonte’s production will last throughout the year, but his numbers have been impressive so far in 2025. I thought the RB position was Jeff’s weak spot going into the season (graded C), but it’s become one of his stronger suits so far, in large part due to Javonte’s hot start.

2. Run It Back! (Gabs) (1-1) [4]

Gabs’s team bounced back in Week 2 after a pretty disappointing Week 1 and gets #HighScore on the backs of Jonathan Taylor, Bucky Irving, Zach Ertz, Dak, Brandon Aubrey, and Arizona D (good call v. Panthers). His team would have gone even more bonkers had he started Goff and Kenneth Walker, but that shows how much depth Gabs has on his bench (including Mooney and Judkins on IR). Even with some underwhelming play at WR the first two weeks, I think Gabs has a solid enough team to live up to his pre-season #1 ranking.

Surprise! Brian Thomas Jr. I would have expected him to continue his ascension this year, but it seems like he hasn’t found a groove with Trevor Lawrence through 2 weeks. The targets are there, but he’ll need to capitalize on those targets moving forward.

3. #surviveandadvance (Eric) (2-0) [6]

Eric’s Monday Night players scored enough to pull out the win in Week 2, but it was a close one. His RBs are still super solid and I still believe in the Herbert-Ladd stack (even though Herbert is sharing the love with Keenan and Quentin). Eric is still weak at WR2 and TE, but with 2 wins under his belt, the defending champion doesn’t look to have much of a championship hangover to start the 2025 season.

Surprise! Travis Etienne Jr. The backfield of Jacksonville looked unpredictable during the pre-season, but after Tank Bigsby got traded away, Etienne has stepped up big time for Eric. Perhaps Tuten plays a bigger role moving forward, but the lead job at Jacksonville is Etienne’s to lose at this point. One could do worse at Flex.

4. Unicorn QueenZ (Tim) (1-1) [5]

My team was 5th again in Points For in Week 2 - while not spectacular, it was enough for a win. Jayden Daniels’s injury is concerning, but I’ve been satisfied with my team’s performance thus far.

Surprise! CMC is still healthy. I seriously thought he wasn’t going to play in Week 1 again. Each week I’m just waiting for the ball to drop. His usage will inevitably increase with all the injuries in SF, so I’m just crossing my fingers that his body can hold up.

5. chinaballa (Andrew) (1-1) [3]

Andrew’s team had a decent showing in Week 2, but it wasn’t enough to beat Eric in a close matchup. He’ll need more production from Derrick Henry (which he’ll get) and Isiah Pacheco (which I’m not sure about), but it’s at least encouraging to see Drake Maye putting up good numbers and CeeDee + JSN + Deebo putting up top-tier WR numbers. Figuring out what to do at TE will continue to be a struggle for Andrew, though.

Surprise! Deebo Samuel. He’s bounced back from a disappointing 2024 season with two great weeks of production so far. Perhaps he’s benefitted from the change of scenery + Terry’s holdout. If Jayden Daniels misses any time, Deebo might see a dip in targets or opportunities, but so far things have been surprisingly productive for him.

6. Maybabyboo (Laura) (1-1) [2]

Laura’s team flopped big time in Week 2, in large part due to JJ McCarthy’s poor performance (and injury). She still has a decent QB option in Bo Nix, though. I’m not too worried about Justin Jefferson’s ability to produce with another QB, but it’ll be interesting to see how Chase Brown does without Burrow under center. I still think Laura has a solid team, but maybe putting her at #2 in the rankings was a bit high.

Surprise! Zay Flowers. I saw a path for success for Flowers, but I definitely didn’t think he’d be the 6th highest scorer at WR after 2 weeks. He’s outperforming Justin Jefferson so far, which I would have found hard to believe had you told me that pre-season. Lamar has been hyper-targeting Zay, and he’s been making good use of those targets. 

7. Spider Pig (Luke) (1-1) [7]

As mentioned last week, Luke’s team will rise and fall depending on how Josh Allen does. Allen had a bad fantasy week, and Luke’s team ended up with a loss. While Luke was able to break 100 points, he didn’t get the production he was expecting from TJ Hockenson or Jacory Croskey-Merritt. With Ekeler’s injury, Jacory should be a lot more productive moving forward, but I have my reservations about Hockenson. Trust me, as the resident Panthers expert, picking up JaTavion Sanders is not the answer unless you want a TE that has butter on his hands. Flex is probably Luke’s weakest position at this point, though - however, he does have a few flier options to choose from. In spite of the loss, Luke still has a solid team moving forward.

Surprise! Jacory Croskey-Merritt. While there was pre-season hype around him, it seemed like it would take a while before he rose to the top as Washington’s lead RB. After the Brian Robinson trade, the path looked a bit more clear. And now with Ekeler out for the year, Jacory becomes a really good RB2 option.

8. Terrific (Taylor’s Version) (David) (2-0) [9]

David pulled out another win, this time in convincing fashion. ARSB, Gibbs, and the Lions had a big bounce-back week, Jaylen Warren had another solid week, and Baker Mayfield’s impressive comeback helped anchor David’s team to an impressive 125+ points. It looks like David will be benching his bae Kelce in favor of his hot new waiver pickup Juwan Johnson in Week 3, which is probably the smart move. The jury’s still out for me whether David’s team will look more Week 1-ish or more Week 2-ish, but at least he’s trending in the right direction right now.

Surprise! Jaylen Warren. I definitely didn’t expect Warren to be a low-end RB1, but he’s produced like one so far in 2 weeks. Granted, it’s a small sample size, but the once seemingly crowded Pittsburgh backfield might still be Warren’s for the foreseeable future given Kenneth Gainwell’s mid-ness and Kaleb Johnson’s boneheaded special teams gaffe.

9. Just Didn’t Catch D’Achane (Haji) (1-1) [10]

Haji’s team had a nice bounce-back week behind Achane and Davante. Ashton Jeanty may need some more time to develop as a rookie, but Aaron Jones’s injury will give more opportunity for Jordan Mason to shine and Haji’s ability to Flex Rome Odunze will give Haji some wiggle room to bench Jeanty if needed (which is what he’s doing for Week 3). He’ll need a better QB than Love, but it looks like he might be trying to compensate by rostering 3 Defenses?

Surprise! Rome Odunze. He’s 4th in points at the WR position through 2 weeks, yet all of those points have been wasted on Haji’s bench. It looks like Haji will be starting Rome in Week 3, and perhaps he’ll continue his ascension as Chicago’s WR1.

10. 大展鸿图 (Jeff Lin) (0-2) [8]

Jeff Lin’s team has struggled big-time coming out the gate in 2025. Malik Nabers has been his one shining spot, but the rest of his team has been pretty garbage. AJ Brown has been one of the more disappointing WRs after 2 weeks (compared to pre-season expectations), Breece Hall and Sam LaPorta both had a good Week 1 but struggled in Week 2, TreVeyon Henderson hasn’t gotten the opportunities he needs to be a serviceable RB2, and Joe Burrow is probably out for the rest of the FF season. We’ve seen Jeff turn things around in the past, but things are looking a bit dire right now.

Surprise! AJ Brown. 1 target in Week 1 was bad. 8 targets in Week 2 was better, but to only turn that into 5 receptions for 27 yards was concerning. If the Eagles continue to win games on the backs of Saquon and Jalen Hurts’s rushing abilities, then AJ Brown may not be as necessary to the Eagles offense, and hence may become an FF liability.

11. 第六 (Abraham) (0-2) [11]

Keenan Allen continues to impress for Abraham, and George Pickens had a good week as well. Starting the Chargers D was the right move, too. But Omarion Hampton is taking a while to get rolling (and the Chargers have been too pass-happy to utilize him), Kyren Williams has not been RB1 material, Drake London has been super disappointing, and Abraham is desperate for help at TE. Right now his team is technically Sacko, and I’m not sure I see a clear path out of it.

Surprise! Drake London. I would have expected him to be much more productive to start the season, but it appears Atlanta is content running with Bijan. If Abraham has any hope to avoid Sacko, London will need to bounce back big time.

12. choubacca (Aaron) (0-2) [12]

Well, at least JaMarr Chase did better in Week 2. With Joe Burrow out, JaMarr’s production may take a dip, although Browning has shown to be a competent enough QB to feed a talented player like JaMarr. I mean, I don’t have much analysis to do here besides what I’ve already said in previous weeks. Aaron’s team still sucks. Maybe his team has scored slightly more over 2 weeks than Jeff Lin’s or Abraham’s, but no matter. Aaron will be playing Jeff Chen in Week 3 - so even though I wouldn’t bet against Jeff’s team, it would be great to see an upset of epic proportions this week.

Surprise! Aaron’s team is 10th in our league’s standings. I guess the point difference between 10th and 12th is 3.8 Points, so maybe it’s not that surprising. But I expected him to be dead last.

Week 1 #PowerRankings - Let's Overreact! Edition

Week 1 is in the books, and it’s time for Let’s Overreact! where I extrapolate (positively or negatively) a whole season based on one week’s results!

1. I am not sacko! (Jeff Chen) (1-0) [2]

Jeff Chen’s team won without much help from Nico or Tyreek. Lamar had a dominant game, which was to be expected, as did Egbuka, which was a little less expected (at least the amount of points he scored). I like the outlook for James Cook, but David Montgomery might not be the reliable RB that he was last year. At least Javonte should be able to provide some relief at RB2. But Kittle’s injury puts Jeff in a bind at TE. I’m a little surprised he went so hard for Quentin Johnston when he had a bigger need at TE. If he can find a good enough replacement, I think Jeff’s team will stay strong.

Let’s Overreact! Jeff can’t replace Kittle, who stays hurt for most of the season, Tyreek continues his downward spiral, the Texans offensive line can’t give CJ Stroud enough time to find Nico, and Montgomery becomes a useless bench clog. Jeff’s once-promising team finds itself out of the playoffs by the end of the season.

2. Maybabyboo (Laura) (1-0) [5]

Laura really has a solid set of RBs that got the job done, but that are still very unsexy - Chase Brown, Chuba, and James Conner all provided solid production en route to Laura’s victory. Zay Flowers was Laura’s player of the week, and hopefully for Laura he can continue being Lamar’s favorite target. The JJ + JJ stack might actually become a thing, too. Laura might need some help at TE, but her bench depth at RB and WR is pretty solid with Tuten becoming RB2 in Jacksonville and Cedric Tillman showing some flash with Flacco. NGL, Laura’s team looks pretty good right now.

Let’s Overreact! This is JJ McCarthy’s breakout season, essentially making the JJ + JJ stack Laura’s Mario Kart SuperStar, and Zay Flowers gives her the Mushroom power to finally finish 1st. To take the imagery one step further, I guess her RBs are like playing with Luigi? No one really wants to play with Luigi but he can get the job done.

3. chinaballa (Andrew) (1-0) [4]

Andrew’s team scored enough to win, but it was probably closer than he would have liked for it to be. At least Derrick Henry continues to look unstoppable. CeeDee and JSN are a scary WR duo, and Drake Maye might still be ok? Maybe? Isiah Pacheco and Calvin Ridley didn’t look great, but at least Andrew has some depth on his bench with Deebo Samuel and Dylan Sampson ready to start if needed. Better days should be ahead for Andrew.

Let’s Overreact! Derrick Henry finishes as the overall RB1 for the season, and both JSN and CeeDee Lamb finish as top-5 WRs. The rest of Andrew’s team is good enough to get Andrew far in the playoffs and maybe even in championship contention.

4. Run It Back! (Gabs) (0-1) [1]

Gabs’s team doesn’t look as scary as it did post-draft. Bucky Irving and Jonathan Taylor produced as expected (although Gabs will be monitoring Taylor’s neck injury), Marvin Harrison Jr had a good showing, and Zach Ertz scored a TD. Brian Thomas’s week was saved with a rushing TD, but he otherwise didn’t look that impressive. Kenneth Walker might get out-played by Charbonnet. And Jared Goff and the Lions offense looked bad. Gabs has pretty good depth on his bench, though - DK Metcalf, JK Dobbins, Michael Penix, and Quinshon Judkins should all be able to significantly contribute at some point in the season. But I couldn’t keep Gabs’s team at the top of the rankings after a sub-par Week 1.

Let’s Overreact! Brian Thomas hits his sophomore slump and can’t get on the same page as Trevor Lawrence in Jacksonville, Jonathan Taylor’s injury is worse than expected, Kenneth Walker becomes irrelevant or injured in Seattle, and the Lions offense can’t figure things out without Ben Johnson. Gabs is left relying on an inconsistent Michael Penix at QB and ultimately misses the playoffs for the 3rd season in a row. The 2020s haven’t been kind to him.

5. Unicorn QueenZ (Tim) (0-1) [7]

I’m still pretty meh about my team. Sure, I finished 5th in Points For. CMC played to pre-draft expectations, Kamara contributed decently as an RB2, and I had some decent production from TMac, Courtland Sutton, and Trey McBride. But Jayden Daniels wasn’t the league-winner that I kept him for and DeVonta Smith was a big disappointment. Besides Keon Coleman, my bench play was horrid. I guess things could be worse, but I feel like something(s) bad is going to happen and my team won’t be set up to adapt. 

Let’s Overreact! CMC and Kamara both stay healthy the whole season, and I find myself actually vying for championship contention. Please?

6. #surviveandadvance (Eric) (1-0) [10]

That Bijan + Jacobs combo served Eric well, and now he’s got Travis Etienne Jr to add to the mix with Tank Bigsby out of the picture in Jacksonville. While the Panthers D probably made Etienne look better than he actually will be the rest of the season, I do think Etienne’s overall outlook for the year will continue to trend upwards, which is good news for Eric. Kyle Pitts actually did ok, and the SF D has a few easy weeks ahead (although with an even injured offense, I wonder if the SF D will be forced to stay on the field for too long). 

Let’s Overreact! Justin Herbert goes on a heater this season and wins league MVP. Ladd is an obvious benefactor of that, and subsequently the unstoppable Herbert + Ladd stack takes Eric to a repeat FFNUTHANG championship in 2025.

7. Spider Pig (Luke) (1-0) [11]

Josh Allen. That’s who Luke’s savior is going to be this season if he’s going to stay playoff-relevant. Sure, Puka put up good numbers. Saquon did Saquon things. Jacory was a GREAT acquisition from Jeff Lin. And Cam Little evidently has a strong enough leg to kick a 70-yard FG. But Luke’s season will be heavily dependent on the success of Josh Allen. The rest of Luke’s team just needs to not mess things up. I’d even consider throwing out some Justin Fields trades to help bulk up the supporting cast.

Let’s Overreact! Josh Allen is the top overall scorer in FF, Jacory wins Rookie of the Year, and Luke is able to eat his cake and have it too this season - cavorting at Burning Man and cruising to FF victories. Just make sure to give Justina some cake too.

8. 大展鸿图 (Jeff Lin) (0-1) [3]

Jeff Lin’s team fell flat to start the season. AJ Brown was irrelevant, Nabers was disappointing, and Burrow had his typical slow start to the season. There were some encouraging flashes, though - Breece Hall looks relevant, TreVeyon Henderson will get more opportunities probably sooner rather than later, Sam LaPorta was productive, and the Broncos D looks impressive. Add some bench depth with Zach Charbonnet and Ricky Pearsall, and Jeff’s team should be able to bounce back.

Let’s Overreact! Nabers and AJ Brown continue to struggle and Joe Burrow can’t figure things out in Cinci. TreVeyon gets his opportunity, but doesn’t flourish in New England because of their system. Jeff misses the playoffs for the first time in 4 years.

9. Terrific (Taylor’s Version) (David) (1-0) [8]

David knows the value of a win. So even though he finished 11th in Points For this week, he’s happy his record is (1-0). Losing Xavier Worthy so quickly was unfortunate, but at least he has Michael Pittman Jr as a replacement option until Rashee Rice can return. As David mentioned, the Lions offense was disappointing, which meant Jahmyr Gibbs and ARSB were also disappointing. At least Kelce scored a TD, and picking up Juwan Johnson as insurance to Kelce’s inevitable decline was smart. Baker’s numbers were serviceable. Pollard wasn’t great, but maybe Jaylen Warren can serve as a decent replacement? David’s team was already walking on thin ice without Rashee Rice (and now without Xavier Worthy), but if Detroit’s offense can’t figure things out soon, David’s team is in trouble.

Let’s Overreact! Detroit’s offense doesn’t figure things out and all of David’s draft capital spent on Gibbs and ARSB gets flushed down the toilet. David can’t adapt enough and in spite of a Week 1 win, he finds himself in a 3-way fight with Abraham and Aaron to stay out of Sacko.

10. Just Didn’t Catch D’Achane (Haji) (0-1) [9]

De’Von Achane’s status seemed up in the air for Week 1, but it was good to see that he had some solid production. Jeanty put up ok numbers as well, especially considering it was his first pro game. Tyler Warren looks to be the real deal, too. But with Purdy injured and possibly missing time, disappointing performances from Higgins and Davante, and still relatively unproven WR depth, Haji is walking on some shaky ground moving forward. The LA Rams D waiver pickup was pricey, but should pay off nicely.

Let’s Overreact! Purdy gets hurt, Higgins and Adams continue to disappoint, and Haji ends up having to consistently start a waiver QB and inconsistent WRs. His RBs + Tyler Warren don’t produce enough to make up for the lack of production elsewhere, and Haji fights to stay out of Sacko contention.

11. 第六 (Abraham) (0-1) [6]

Week 1 did not go well for the reigning Sacko. I’m trying to find somewhere positive to start, so... Keenan Allen did well? Kyren and Mahomes were good, too. Every other starter scored in the single digits, though. Drake London got hurt, may miss time? Hampton and RJ Harvey may need more time to adjust to the pro game. Maybe Pickens will bounce back as he adjusts to a new team. And perhaps things will look better once Jordan Addison is back. But Mark Andrews is not the answer at TE. And starting off with a loss - even worse, the lowest score for the week - equals bad vibes for Abraham.

Let’s Overreact! Nothing improves and Abraham becomes the 1st Sacko Repeat in FFNUTHANG history. The only possible saving grace is how bad Aaron’s team is.

12. choubacca (Aaron) (0-1) [12]

I was right. Week 1 totals for Kaleb Johnson + Rico Dowdle + Raheem Mostert + Rachaad White + Ollie Gordon + Tyler Allgeier = 7.7 points. Total. As in, the combined points of all 6 players. Let’s see.. who finished as RB24 in Week 1? Zach Charbonnet with 10.7 points. Let’s take it one step further and include Aaron’s 2 RB waiver adds: Kareem Hunt and Kyle Monangai. What is the grand total of Aaron’s 8 RBs (8!!!) in Week 1? 12.9 points. That's the COMBINED points of all 8 of Aaron’s RBs. Jacory Croskey-Merritt finished at RB12 with 14.2 points. All 8 of Aaron’s RBs combined into a Dino Megazord-RB would have been only as good as RB17 in Week 1 - same as Jaylen Warren. Thankfully for Aaron, Jalen Hurts, Garrett Wilson, Brock Bowers, and Green Bay D did well enough to keep him out of last place in league standings. But things don’t look good for Aaron.

Let’s Overreact! This is actually just a proper reaction: Aaron’s team suxxx.

Week 1 Predictions! (ChatGPT Version)

Week 1 Matchup Breakdowns, brought to you by ChatGPT:

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🏈 Week 1 Matchup Breakdowns 🏈

It’s finally here. Draft season’s over, no more “I would’ve taken him there,” and the Yahoo projections don’t mean squat. This is where legends are made, heartbreak begins, and someone immediately regrets half their draft board. Let’s break it down — six matchups, ranked from Game of the Week all the way down to the Who Cares Bowl.

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Game of the Week: 大展鸿图 (Jeff) vs Maybabyboo (Laura)

This one oozes playoff energy right out the gate. Jeff rolls with Joe Burrow — healthy, confident, ready to start strong — pairing him with AJ Brown and Malik Nabers, who looks like he’s about to steal “rookie WR1” status. Add Breece Hall to the mix and Jeff’s got both floor and ceiling covered.

Laura fires back with Justin Jefferson and Zay Flowers, a WR combo that screams highlight reel. Bo Nix is the wildcard here — rookie volatility in primetime is either boom or bust, no in-between. At RB, James Conner + Chuba Hubbard don’t look as sexy on paper, but those touches add up.

Benches are sneaky fun: Jeff’s got Jaylen Waddle waiting in the wings, while Laura stashed Javon Baker, who could be a Week 1 surprise.

X-Factor: Bo Nix. If he keeps it together, Laura makes this a shootout. If not, Jeff cruises.
Prediction: Jeff in a nail-biter — but this one has “Game of the Week” stamped all over it.

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Unicorn QueenZ (Tim) vs I am not sacko! (Jeff Chen)

This matchup is a Hollywood blockbuster. Jayden Daniels brings rookie electricity for Tim, while Jeff Chen answers with Lamar Jackson, an MVP candidate who could casually drop 35 in Buffalo. The WR room on both sides is absurd: Tyreek Hill, DeVonta Smith, Nico Collins, and lurking on Tim’s bench — Cooper Kupp and Stefon Diggs, just chilling like it’s no big deal.

RBs tilt toward Jeff Chen with James Cook and David Montgomery, though Tim counters with Christian McCaffrey — the human cheat code. Tight ends? Trey McBride vs George Kittle is almost a coin flip, but Kittle’s “all or nothing” style could swing the week.

Both benches are stacked with depth — Jerome Ford, Christian Kirk, Najee Harris, Joe Mixon. This feels less like Week 1 and more like an early playoff preview.

X-Factor: Tyreek Hill. If he explodes, Tim could put Jeff Chen in a 30-point hole before the afternoon slate even starts.
Prediction: Tim edges it — but expect constant app-refresh chaos.

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chinaballa (Andrew) vs Run It Back! (Gabs)

This one has dynasty startup vibes written all over it. Dak Prescott vs Drake Maye sets the tone: proven vs rookie, safe vs volatile. WRs are just as fun — Marvin Harrison Jr. and JSN for Andrew, CeeDee Lamb and Brian Thomas Jr. for Gabs. That’s future fantasy WR1s all over the field.

Andrew’s RB stable (Derrick Henry, Jonathan Taylor, Kenneth Walker) brings power, while Gabs leans on Isiah Pacheco and Bucky Irving, who are more role-based grinders. The TE battle is Evan Engram vs Zach Ertz — youth vs vet — but neither’s winning this week alone.

The benches? Spicy. Andrew’s got DK Metcalf and Deebo waiting, while Gabs stashed Jordan Love and J.K. Dobbins. Somebody’s bench guy will matter before long.

X-Factor: Marvin Harrison Jr. — if he shows he’s the real deal Week 1, Andrew’s WRs are unstoppable.
Prediction: Andrew gets the edge with RB depth, but it’ll feel tight all Sunday.

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Terrific (Taylor’s Version) (David) vs 第六 (Abraham)

Pure drama. Baker Mayfield vs Patrick Mahomes is almost unfair, but Baker’s scrappy underdog vibes shouldn’t be ignored. At WR, David’s Xavier Worthy + Drake London combo feels high-upside but raw, while Abraham’s Jerry Jeudy + George Pickens duo is boom-or-bust incarnate.

RBs are a dead heat: Gibbs + Kyren for David, Pollard + rookie Hampton for Abraham. Both sides rely on splash plays. But let’s be real: the tight end duel is the show here. Travis Kelce vs Mark Andrews is like a pay-per-view event. Whoever wins this mini-battle might tilt the whole matchup.

Bench-wise, David’s stashing Jayden Reed and Amari Cooper, while Abraham’s sitting on Jaylen Wright. Neither bench screams “safety net.”

X-Factor: Baker. If he hangs in and doesn’t implode, David can pull the upset.
Prediction: Mahomes + Kelce prove too much. Abraham takes it, but it’ll be spicy.

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Just Didn’t Catch D’Achane (Haji) vs Spider Pig (Luke)

This is the meme matchup. Brock Purdy (efficient robot) vs Josh Allen (chaos cannon) sets the tone. Luke’s WRs — Davante Adams + Chris Olave — bring serious alpha vibes, while Haji rolls with Tee Higgins and Devontez Walker, both capable but streaky.

RBs could get weird fast. Haji’s got Achane (boom/bust lightning) and Jacory Croskey-Merritt (the fantasy sicko darling), while Luke goes steady with Saquon + Jeanty. TEs tilt Luke’s way too with Dalton Kincaid over Jake Briningstool.

Benches make this even funnier: Rome Odunze, Justin Fields, Elijah Moore, Jaylen Wright… there’s chaos potential everywhere.

X-Factor: Achane. If he pops for a 70-yard TD, Haji might steal it.
Prediction: Luke’s stability wins out. Saquon + Allen too much firepower.

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Who Cares Bowl: #surviveandadvance (E-San) vs choubacca (Aaron)

This feels like a “just survive Week 1” matchup. Caleb Williams brings rookie flair for E-San, while Aaron counters with Jalen Hurts, who’s basically a fantasy cheat code. Ja’Marr Chase looms as Aaron’s trump card — he could singlehandedly flip this thing.

At RB, E-San goes Bijan + Mostert (youth + speed), while Aaron leans Jacobs + Ollie Gordon II (volume + breakout hopes). TEs are another mismatch: Kyle Pitts (eternal vibes project) vs Brock Bowers (rookie mystery box).

The benches have names, but not much Week 1 firepower — Travis Etienne, Khalil Herbert, Rachaad White, Jakobi Meyers. More long-term assets than Week 1 hammers.

X-Factor: Ja’Marr Chase. If he goes nuclear, Aaron can mask the rest.
Prediction: Aaron squeaks by on Hurts + Chase. E-San hangs tough but needs Bijan to carry.

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🏆 Final Rankings of Matchups (Week 1 Vibes)

1. 大展鸿图 vs Maybabyboo – Blockbuster, star power everywhere.

2. Unicorn QueenZ vs I am not sacko! – Hollywood chaos, playoff vibes.

3. chinaballa vs Run It Back! – Dynasty draft energy, youth movement.

4. Terrific (Taylor’s Version) vs 第六 – Mahomes/Kelce drama, Baker underdog arc.

5. Just Didn’t Catch D’Achane vs Spider Pig – Meme chaos, hilarious outcomes possible.

6. #surviveandadvance vs choubacca – Gritty, grindy, quietly close but least flashy.