Week 1 is in the books, and it’s time for Let’s Overreact! where I extrapolate (positively or negatively) a whole season based on one week’s results!
1. I am not sacko! (Jeff Chen) (1-0) [2]
Jeff Chen’s team won without much help from Nico or Tyreek. Lamar had a dominant game, which was to be expected, as did Egbuka, which was a little less expected (at least the amount of points he scored). I like the outlook for James Cook, but David Montgomery might not be the reliable RB that he was last year. At least Javonte should be able to provide some relief at RB2. But Kittle’s injury puts Jeff in a bind at TE. I’m a little surprised he went so hard for Quentin Johnston when he had a bigger need at TE. If he can find a good enough replacement, I think Jeff’s team will stay strong.
Let’s Overreact! Jeff can’t replace Kittle, who stays hurt for most of the season, Tyreek continues his downward spiral, the Texans offensive line can’t give CJ Stroud enough time to find Nico, and Montgomery becomes a useless bench clog. Jeff’s once-promising team finds itself out of the playoffs by the end of the season.
2. Maybabyboo (Laura) (1-0) [5]
Laura really has a solid set of RBs that got the job done, but that are still very unsexy - Chase Brown, Chuba, and James Conner all provided solid production en route to Laura’s victory. Zay Flowers was Laura’s player of the week, and hopefully for Laura he can continue being Lamar’s favorite target. The JJ + JJ stack might actually become a thing, too. Laura might need some help at TE, but her bench depth at RB and WR is pretty solid with Tuten becoming RB2 in Jacksonville and Cedric Tillman showing some flash with Flacco. NGL, Laura’s team looks pretty good right now.
Let’s Overreact! This is JJ McCarthy’s breakout season, essentially making the JJ + JJ stack Laura’s Mario Kart SuperStar, and Zay Flowers gives her the Mushroom power to finally finish 1st. To take the imagery one step further, I guess her RBs are like playing with Luigi? No one really wants to play with Luigi but he can get the job done.
3. chinaballa (Andrew) (1-0) [4]
Andrew’s team scored enough to win, but it was probably closer than he would have liked for it to be. At least Derrick Henry continues to look unstoppable. CeeDee and JSN are a scary WR duo, and Drake Maye might still be ok? Maybe? Isiah Pacheco and Calvin Ridley didn’t look great, but at least Andrew has some depth on his bench with Deebo Samuel and Dylan Sampson ready to start if needed. Better days should be ahead for Andrew.
Let’s Overreact! Derrick Henry finishes as the overall RB1 for the season, and both JSN and CeeDee Lamb finish as top-5 WRs. The rest of Andrew’s team is good enough to get Andrew far in the playoffs and maybe even in championship contention.
4. Run It Back! (Gabs) (0-1) [1]
Gabs’s team doesn’t look as scary as it did post-draft. Bucky Irving and Jonathan Taylor produced as expected (although Gabs will be monitoring Taylor’s neck injury), Marvin Harrison Jr had a good showing, and Zach Ertz scored a TD. Brian Thomas’s week was saved with a rushing TD, but he otherwise didn’t look that impressive. Kenneth Walker might get out-played by Charbonnet. And Jared Goff and the Lions offense looked bad. Gabs has pretty good depth on his bench, though - DK Metcalf, JK Dobbins, Michael Penix, and Quinshon Judkins should all be able to significantly contribute at some point in the season. But I couldn’t keep Gabs’s team at the top of the rankings after a sub-par Week 1.
Let’s Overreact! Brian Thomas hits his sophomore slump and can’t get on the same page as Trevor Lawrence in Jacksonville, Jonathan Taylor’s injury is worse than expected, Kenneth Walker becomes irrelevant or injured in Seattle, and the Lions offense can’t figure things out without Ben Johnson. Gabs is left relying on an inconsistent Michael Penix at QB and ultimately misses the playoffs for the 3rd season in a row. The 2020s haven’t been kind to him.
5. Unicorn QueenZ (Tim) (0-1) [7]
I’m still pretty meh about my team. Sure, I finished 5th in Points For. CMC played to pre-draft expectations, Kamara contributed decently as an RB2, and I had some decent production from TMac, Courtland Sutton, and Trey McBride. But Jayden Daniels wasn’t the league-winner that I kept him for and DeVonta Smith was a big disappointment. Besides Keon Coleman, my bench play was horrid. I guess things could be worse, but I feel like something(s) bad is going to happen and my team won’t be set up to adapt.
Let’s Overreact! CMC and Kamara both stay healthy the whole season, and I find myself actually vying for championship contention. Please?
6. #surviveandadvance (Eric) (1-0) [10]
That Bijan + Jacobs combo served Eric well, and now he’s got Travis Etienne Jr to add to the mix with Tank Bigsby out of the picture in Jacksonville. While the Panthers D probably made Etienne look better than he actually will be the rest of the season, I do think Etienne’s overall outlook for the year will continue to trend upwards, which is good news for Eric. Kyle Pitts actually did ok, and the SF D has a few easy weeks ahead (although with an even injured offense, I wonder if the SF D will be forced to stay on the field for too long).
Let’s Overreact! Justin Herbert goes on a heater this season and wins league MVP. Ladd is an obvious benefactor of that, and subsequently the unstoppable Herbert + Ladd stack takes Eric to a repeat FFNUTHANG championship in 2025.
7. Spider Pig (Luke) (1-0) [11]
Josh Allen. That’s who Luke’s savior is going to be this season if he’s going to stay playoff-relevant. Sure, Puka put up good numbers. Saquon did Saquon things. Jacory was a GREAT acquisition from Jeff Lin. And Cam Little evidently has a strong enough leg to kick a 70-yard FG. But Luke’s season will be heavily dependent on the success of Josh Allen. The rest of Luke’s team just needs to not mess things up. I’d even consider throwing out some Justin Fields trades to help bulk up the supporting cast.
Let’s Overreact! Josh Allen is the top overall scorer in FF, Jacory wins Rookie of the Year, and Luke is able to eat his cake and have it too this season - cavorting at Burning Man and cruising to FF victories. Just make sure to give Justina some cake too.
8. 大展鸿图 (Jeff Lin) (0-1) [3]
Jeff Lin’s team fell flat to start the season. AJ Brown was irrelevant, Nabers was disappointing, and Burrow had his typical slow start to the season. There were some encouraging flashes, though - Breece Hall looks relevant, TreVeyon Henderson will get more opportunities probably sooner rather than later, Sam LaPorta was productive, and the Broncos D looks impressive. Add some bench depth with Zach Charbonnet and Ricky Pearsall, and Jeff’s team should be able to bounce back.
Let’s Overreact! Nabers and AJ Brown continue to struggle and Joe Burrow can’t figure things out in Cinci. TreVeyon gets his opportunity, but doesn’t flourish in New England because of their system. Jeff misses the playoffs for the first time in 4 years.
9. Terrific (Taylor’s Version) (David) (1-0) [8]
David knows the value of a win. So even though he finished 11th in Points For this week, he’s happy his record is (1-0). Losing Xavier Worthy so quickly was unfortunate, but at least he has Michael Pittman Jr as a replacement option until Rashee Rice can return. As David mentioned, the Lions offense was disappointing, which meant Jahmyr Gibbs and ARSB were also disappointing. At least Kelce scored a TD, and picking up Juwan Johnson as insurance to Kelce’s inevitable decline was smart. Baker’s numbers were serviceable. Pollard wasn’t great, but maybe Jaylen Warren can serve as a decent replacement? David’s team was already walking on thin ice without Rashee Rice (and now without Xavier Worthy), but if Detroit’s offense can’t figure things out soon, David’s team is in trouble.
Let’s Overreact! Detroit’s offense doesn’t figure things out and all of David’s draft capital spent on Gibbs and ARSB gets flushed down the toilet. David can’t adapt enough and in spite of a Week 1 win, he finds himself in a 3-way fight with Abraham and Aaron to stay out of Sacko.
10. Just Didn’t Catch D’Achane (Haji) (0-1) [9]
De’Von Achane’s status seemed up in the air for Week 1, but it was good to see that he had some solid production. Jeanty put up ok numbers as well, especially considering it was his first pro game. Tyler Warren looks to be the real deal, too. But with Purdy injured and possibly missing time, disappointing performances from Higgins and Davante, and still relatively unproven WR depth, Haji is walking on some shaky ground moving forward. The LA Rams D waiver pickup was pricey, but should pay off nicely.
Let’s Overreact! Purdy gets hurt, Higgins and Adams continue to disappoint, and Haji ends up having to consistently start a waiver QB and inconsistent WRs. His RBs + Tyler Warren don’t produce enough to make up for the lack of production elsewhere, and Haji fights to stay out of Sacko contention.
11. 第六 (Abraham) (0-1) [6]
Week 1 did not go well for the reigning Sacko. I’m trying to find somewhere positive to start, so... Keenan Allen did well? Kyren and Mahomes were good, too. Every other starter scored in the single digits, though. Drake London got hurt, may miss time? Hampton and RJ Harvey may need more time to adjust to the pro game. Maybe Pickens will bounce back as he adjusts to a new team. And perhaps things will look better once Jordan Addison is back. But Mark Andrews is not the answer at TE. And starting off with a loss - even worse, the lowest score for the week - equals bad vibes for Abraham.
Let’s Overreact! Nothing improves and Abraham becomes the 1st Sacko Repeat in FFNUTHANG history. The only possible saving grace is how bad Aaron’s team is.
12. choubacca (Aaron) (0-1) [12]
I was right. Week 1 totals for Kaleb Johnson + Rico Dowdle + Raheem Mostert + Rachaad White + Ollie Gordon + Tyler Allgeier = 7.7 points. Total. As in, the combined points of all 6 players. Let’s see.. who finished as RB24 in Week 1? Zach Charbonnet with 10.7 points. Let’s take it one step further and include Aaron’s 2 RB waiver adds: Kareem Hunt and Kyle Monangai. What is the grand total of Aaron’s 8 RBs (8!!!) in Week 1? 12.9 points. That's the COMBINED points of all 8 of Aaron’s RBs. Jacory Croskey-Merritt finished at RB12 with 14.2 points. All 8 of Aaron’s RBs combined into a Dino Megazord-RB would have been only as good as RB17 in Week 1 - same as Jaylen Warren. Thankfully for Aaron, Jalen Hurts, Garrett Wilson, Brock Bowers, and Green Bay D did well enough to keep him out of last place in league standings. But things don’t look good for Aaron.
Let’s Overreact! This is actually just a proper reaction: Aaron’s team suxxx.