Thanksgiving is a little later this year, so instead of waiting until after Thanksgiving (with only one game left in the regular season) to break out the PANTHERS, here it is! For those that may have forgotten, PANTHERS = Postseason Analytical NU THANG Happy Endings Real Statistic aka % chance of making playoffs. Also, the corresponding SUXS = Sacko Unfortunate eXit Statistic aka % chance of being Sacko. Very accurate, no flaws.
1. HonkyTonkMcConkeyTime (Eric) (7-4) [1]
Eric’s team finally took a stumble this week after 5+ weeks of sheer dominance. Lamar faced a tough defense, so it’s not a huge surprise. However, the rest of season schedule for Lamar doesn’t look like a walk in the park, either. This upcoming week’s matchup will be a big one in determining who can secure the top spot in league standings, but Eric will also have a few tougher matchups to finish the season against Laura and Jeff Lin - all of them out for blood. Probability-wise, Eric’s got the best chances of ending the season at #1 in league standings, but we’ll see what the FF fates have in store for Eric.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Tim (Win)
Week 13: Laura (Win)
Week 14: Jeff Lin (Win)
Final Record Prediction: (10-4)
PANTHERS %: 98%
SUXS %: 0%
2. Maybabyboo (Laura) (7-4) [2]
Joe Mixon exploded on MNF and has been RB1 in terms of points per games played this season. I remember Laura targeting Mixon back in the 2020 draft, thinking he was the next up-and-coming RB star. It has finally come to fruition. It’s ridiculous how good her 4 RBs are, and she’s got enough of a supporting cast to make a deep run in the playoffs. Her Week 13 matchup against Eric will be one to watch and may have some big implications for playoff seeding.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Haji (Win)
Week 13: Eric (Loss)
Week 14: Gabs (Win)
Final Record Prediction: (9-5)
PANTHERS %: 94%
SUXS %: 0%
3. It’s Bo Time (Andrew) (7-4) [3]
Very impressive win by Andrew’s team on the back of Bo Nix. Had he not made the trade with me and started CJ Stroud instead, it would have been an ugly week for Andrew. For selfish reasons, I’m glad he got the win over Eric, and hope Bo does well for him to finish the season (thankful he has a Week 14 bye). Now Andrew has got what looks like a weekly QB starter in Bo Time, who also has a pretty easy rest of season schedule. Andrew’s got a very winnable rest of season schedule himself and may end up being a dark horse candidate for Regular Season Champ.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Gabs (Win)
Week 13: Luke (Win)
Week 14: Tim (Win)
Final Record Prediction: (10-4)
PANTHERS %: 89%
SUXS %: 0%
4. Justin Time to Catch Achane (Haji) (4-7) [6]
Haji’s team got #HighScore for the week and ended up with a much-needed win. He faces a pretty tough schedule the next two weeks against Laura and Jeff Lin. Haji will have to win the rest of his games to keep his playoff hopes alive. I know he might be thinking his Week 14 matchup against Aaron could be for Sacko, but I think Haji’s Points For are high enough that he’ll remain out of the Sacko conversation. Continued production from Kupp and Achane will help, Justin Herbert is looking solid, and his FAAB spend on Jauan Jennings is paying off big time.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Laura (Loss)
Week 13: Jeff Lin (Loss)
Week 14: Aaron (Win)
Final Record Prediction: (5-9)
PANTHERS %: 9%
SUXS %: 4%
5. FULL COMMANDO (Tim) (8-3) [4]
I want to formally thank JaMarr Chase for being the best WR1 I’ve had in a really long time, Jayden Daniels for paying off on the $5 risk I took on him, Kareem Hunt for resurrecting his career for my team, Trey McBride for being the Keeper that was actually worth it, and many others who stepped up when their name was called this season (I see you Tyler Allgeier v. the Panthers). It is because of you all that not only did I not repeat Sacko, but I’ve actually (almost) made the playoffs, AND I’m actually in contention for Regular Season champion! Who would have thunk? This week will be a big week in determining RS Champ as well as who gets a 1st round bye in the playoffs. Again, so glad Eric is not at full strength. He should consider making himself less at full strength just for funsies.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Eric (Loss)
Week 13: Gabs (Win)
Week 14: Andrew (Loss)
Final Record Prediction: (9-5)
PANTHERS %: 99%
SUXS %: 0%
6. Love thy Naber (Jeff Lin) (7-4) [5]
Jeff Lin has one of the harder schedules to finish out the season. He needed the Week 11 win to keep his spot in the playoffs more secure, but he’ll need to do more in the way of Points For to continue his 4-game win streak into the postseason. Breece’s easy schedule after the bye should help with that, but Deebo’s production has been looking iffy as of late. Hopefully Jeff’s rookie WRs can pick up the slack to help him finish the season strong. I like Jeff’s chances of making the playoffs based on his record and winning streak momentum, but we’ll see how his difficult schedule plays out.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Jeff Chen (Win)
Week 13: Haji (Win)
Week 14: Eric (Loss)
Final Record Prediction: (9-5)
PANTHERS %: 86%
SUXS %: 0%
7. I am not sacko! (Jeff Chen) (4-7) [7]
Jeff Chen has one of the easier schedules to end the season. If he can pull out a win this week in the Battle of the Jeff’s, he’ll keep his (tiny) window to make the playoffs open. He’ll need to win the rest of his games, but v. Aaron and v. Abraham are very winnable games. I do think Nico staying healthy will go a long way in Jeff’s rest of season success. I just think Nico’s return was too late to salvage Jeff’s season.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Jeff Lin (Loss)
Week 13: Aaron (Win)
Week 14: Abraham (Win)
Final Record Prediction: (6-8)
PANTHERS %: 4%
SUXS %: 7%
8. Spider Pig (Luke) (6-5) [9]
Luke’s Week 11 win against Gabs kept his team firmly in playoff contention, especially given his rest of season schedule. Games against Abraham and David in Weeks 12 and 14 should be relatively easy wins. Even if Luke drops the game against Andrew, ending the season with a (8-6) should mean securing a playoff spot. Luke is somehow overcoming the suckness of Yahoo Autodraft. Keeping Saquon was probably one of the smartest moves he’s had all season.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Abraham (Win)
Week 13: Andrew (Loss)
Week 14: David (Win)
Final Record Prediction: (8-6)
PANTHERS %: 72%
SUXS %: 1%
9. Run It Back! (Gabs) (5-6) [11]
Gabs almost pulled out the win this week with the Houston Defense, but Luke and the Saquon Barkleys were just too strong. Gabs has a major bye week problem coming up in Week 12, and will face some tougher opponents in Weeks 13 and 14 as well. While he’s sitting at 7th place just outside the playoffs right now, I think his tough FF schedule will unfortunately bump him out of playoff contention.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Andrew (Loss)
Week 13: Tim (Loss)
Week 14: Laura (Loss)
Final Record Prediction: (5-9)
PANTHERS %: 46%
SUXS %: 3%
10. Terrific Tortoises (David) (3-8) [10]
David’s matchup against Jeff Lin in Week 11 flew a little under the radar, but was a huge blow for David in his quest to avoid Sacko. I don’t have much good advice besides: keep your head up, David. I do think you have an advantage over Aaron this week, and if you can secure this week’s win, I think you’ll be in safe waters to finish this season. Even if that doesn’t work, Abraham’s team is falling apart too, so at least Week 13 will still give you a glimmer of hope for a win. Just hope for better injury luck next year.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Aaron (Win)
Week 13: Abraham (Loss)
Week 14: Luke (Loss)
Final Record Prediction: (4-10)
PANTHERS %: 0%
SUXS %: 42%
11. 第六 (Abraham) (4-7) [8]
I’m not sure what happened to Abraham’s team, but with three straight weeks of scoring the fewest points, something is terribly wrong. Not only has Abraham had to deal with a lot of injuries, the players that should be producing have been nearly MIA, and his lack of depth is showing up in very ugly ways. He doesn’t have a super easy rest-of-season schedule, either. His saving grace is Week 13’s matchup against David, but he’ll need more production if he wants to win that game and stay out of Sacko.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: Luke (Loss)
Week 13: David (Win)
Week 14: Jeff Chen (Loss)
Final Record Prediction: (5-8)
PANTHERS %: 2%
SUXS %: 11%
12. choubacca (Aaron) (4-7) [12]
From a numbers standpoint, Aaron’s team deserves to be Sacko. Whether or not it will be is TBD. A lot is riding on this Week 12 matchup with David, because Aaron will have a harder time pulling out a victory against Jeff Chen or Haji the following weeks. I can see a path in which Aaron pulls out a win this week if the Baker-Otton stack plays to his favor. CeeDee Lamb seems to still be usable with Cooper Rush, and Tyreek Hill looks ok in spite of his injury. Aaron will need some luck, though, and my predictive model shows he loses out the season and ends up Sacko by way of Points For.
Rest Of Season Schedule Predictions:
Week 12: David (Loss)
Week 13: Jeff Chen (Loss)
Week 14: Haji (Loss)
Final Record Prediction: (4-10)
PANTHERS %: 1%
SUXS %: 32%